We all have those days when the last thing we want in and around our mouth is our boyfriend’s Little General. Let’s be honest, sometimes the art of fellatio can be quite a chore. But denying our man what he most wants doesn’t come without guilt. While flat out rejection seems like cruel and unusual punishment, there are some foolproof excuses that will lessen the blow of the job-not done.

“I think I’m allergic to your sperm.”
Yes, that is possible. And unless he want’s to explain to the nurse at the health center exactly why your mouth is swollen to the size of a grapefruit, he better let you off the hook this time.

“It’s not me! It’s the curse of the lockjaw!”
A stiff jaw does not a good BJ make. The attack of the lockjaw is just as painful for him as it is for you. Especially if you catch a little skin in the midst of the untimely episode. The thought of a bleeding dick may turn him off to the idea altogether, and if it doesn’t, the thought of calling EMS to remove you from his man-bits might do the trick. Read More »

I’m just gonna say it, I’m good in bed. I might be a little arrogant about it, but a big part of good sex is confidence, so I think it’s OK to be a bit smug. A lot of girls are insecure about their performance in the bedroom, but there’s really no reason to be. Being good in bed is much simpler then you think. Here are some tips from an expert:

Enjoy Yourself. If it’s good for you, it’ll be good for your partner. Knowing what you like and how to ask for it takes the stress of figuring it out off your partner so you’re both free to relax and enjoy. Don’t know what you like? Start masturbating.

Try New Things. It’s always good to break the routine. Trying new positions, places, toys, etc. might help you both discover a new favorite.

Be Dirty. Don’t hold back and don’t worry about your manners. Read More »

Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!

Hi Dude,

I have a question that’s been bothering me for a while. I started hooking up with this guy in early February and I’ve done things to him (you know what I mean), but I’ve never slept with him. In April, he started asking me if I’d have sex with him. I said I would, but due to various reasons, it never happened, which was fine with me. About a month ago, he came to visit me (he’s home for the summer and lives 2 hours away). That night, after going down on him, I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He replied, “I can’t, because I really like you.” I was really confused and when I asked him to clarify, he
said that he really respected me and liked me and, therefore, couldn’t do that to me. He also said something about not wanting to ruin things between us. Read More »

You know what’s super awkward? Sex. All that nudity and rubbing and body parts all over the place. It’s a recipe for disaster. There are about a billion things that can go wrong, from cutting open your head on the corner of a dresser (been there) to dropping a wad of drool on your man’s face (done that). And if we took a moment to truly reflect on what it’s like to fart during the entire thing, well, I’m pretty sure we’d all just stop sexing all together.

I’m sure most people don’t put as much thought into the intricacies of sexy time as I do, but I am sure that plenty of sexually active adults have considered the multitude of things that could go wrong during the act. Does everyone have the same fears (babies and disease)? Do guys fears differ from a girl’s? Is a queef as big a deal to everyone else as it is to me (and do other people laugh uncontrollably when one happens)?

I asked my friend who is a boy to give me his thoughts. Read More »

We’ve always heard that it is far better to give than to receive, but does that hold up in the bedroom? Is it really better to give a little lovin’ than to get it!?

Sure, I like the power I have over a man when I venture south for the evening and the knowledge that I made him very (verrry) happy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect a little somethin’ somethin’ in return. Is it really fair to take (and, in some cases, demand in the form of pushing) and never to reciprocate? And why do so many damn guys do that?

Man up, dudes!

Let’s see what my boy friend (notice the space there, ladies) had to say. Read More »

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that people will do anything for money, fame, or sex.  But for a bag of Frito Lays? Well yes, apparently that fits into the same category for some people out there.

Sue Smith a 36-year-old woman from Oklahoma, agreed to accept a box of Frito-Lay chips in exchange for oral sex. John Faron Johnson, a Frito-Lay employee who participated in this trade, didn’t have money but she agreed to do the deed anyway, as long as she got her hands on those chips. I mean, pretty sweet deal on John’s part, but a BJ for some corn chips!?

I hope she enjoyed those things, because Sue was ordered to pay a $1,142 fine as a result of a prostitution charge. Yes, BJs for chips is considered prostitution.

Sue got me thinking. I can tell you one thing for sure, although I am a fan of those Frito-Lays (bbq are the BEST) I would not trade sex for them. Here are some things that I’d say would make a fair deal.

A day at the spa
It’s difficult to splurge on things these days with our not-so-hot economy, especially when it comes to things like manicures and pedicures. You feel stupid for wasting all that money when you can paint your own nails at home. So yeah, if someone were to give me an entire day at the spa with a manicure, pedicure, massage, and facial all included, I’d totally be down (pun intended). Read More »

Seriously, if you want me to enjoy your new cleverly named “Seven Incher,” likening it to one of my least favorite activities isn’t going to help. When I see this I do not want to dig into all that beefy glory – all I can think about is lock jaw and “special sauce” in my eye.

Maybe I’d be more into it if it were a 12 incher, but seven? No thanks.

I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to sex, I’m not going to lie. I love to experiment with men that I’m serious about and whom I trust, and I’m not opposed to an adventurous fling either. However, I have a confession: I might be open to hair-pulling, spanking, and playing dress-up, and there’s probably nothing that could come out of a guy’s mouth that would be dirty enough to make me blush… but I do not let men go down on me.

Take a minute. Catch your breath. Reread if you don’t believe it.

I’m sorry, but I’ve never enjoyed oral sex. I have no problem doling it out, but there are only a couple of men whom I’ve allowed to walk the red carpet, and they’ve only had the privilege on rare occasions.

My aversion to cunnilingus, I feel, stems from low self esteem and a rather horrific first time. I was shy and inexperienced, and losing my virginity was no Cinderella story. After that, it was a long time before I had vaginal sex again, but I did dole out my fair share of blow jobs. Go figure.

Looking back, I think it was a control issue. I had little control over my first time, and to me, going down on a guy was controlling. I was calling the shots. I could get him off. He was the one lying on the bed, losing his mind to ecstatic climax (sorry, I am damn good at fellatio). With regular sex, I felt like the power was equal. My partner and I were both simultaneously trying to please the other, while experiencing our own euphoric physical feelings. It was okay to give away my body, because it was a fair trade

Read More »

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

After four long and frustrating years of sexual tension, my high school crush and I finally had our first hot makeout sesh the first week of college. That is if you consider making out with some nature special about tarantulas playing in the background to be hot. Regardless, it happened and I was oh so excited. I didn’t want to take things too far that first night, so I acted coy, pushed him away, buttoned up my shirt and left.

We spent the next week flirting on IM and, since he lived in the dorm next to me, running into each other randomly on the way to class. Ok, so maybe it wasn’t so random. Maybe I spent a lot of time outside hoping he’d walk by. Either way, he called me on a Friday night and asked if he could come over. Read More »

Everybody’s doing it.  There’s different types, names, and ways to do it.   Two girls, one guy.  One girl, one guy.  Two guys.  You name it, it happens.   And according to New York City’s most trusted paper, this oh-so unusual and odd act causes “peer pressure,” and is leaving parents “baffled.”   That’s right everybody,  we’re talking about hugging.

I didn’t think The Times could get more desperate for a relevant “News” story after discussing the dangers of texting, but it looks like I was wrong. It seems that texting-thumb isn’t the biggest issue plaguing our generation right now. The real question?  To hug or not to hug.

Underage drinking is dangerous.  Drugs, sex, whatever.  But hugs?  I’m pretty sure those things are safe.  They are not things to fear or be worried about, as the Times is portrating them; they’re hugs! They’re innocent yet meaningful exchanges among people, not some gateway drug that will eventually lead to middle school prostitution.

It’s funny, but also infuriating that the Times would make such a big deal about a simple hug. The way they’re talking, you’d think kids were giving blow jobs in the halls. And if that were the case, I’d understand. I mean, that changes the whole story…literally: Read More »