Brobible, my favorite website in the whole world (ahem, gag me), never fails to spout tidbits of bro wisdom.  Case in point: today they tackled the issue of female body hair and how it is completely unacceptable.

Now ladies, I’m assuming everyone here is up on their personal grooming regimen.  While I by no means endorse waxing every part of your body until you resemble a baby prostitute, I think we can all appreciate that some things need to be taken care of.  That being said, I think the bro POV is especially harsh and clearly these fellas are choosing to ignore all the…er, unpleasantries…they often bring to the table (or the beach, or the bedroom, or the gym).

Back hair
Yeah, that mess happens.  Just because you can’t see it when you look in the mirror doesn’t mean we can’t, gentlemen.  You want us to wrap our arms around you and beg for more?  Take care of the sweater you’re growing.

Unibrows
Come on, you look like a Turkish cab driver.  Tweezers can be your friend, too.

Your armpit hair
It’s like a Chia pet under there.  And you know that move when you grab us in a playful headlock and we laugh like we’re enjoying it?  Well, that mini-bush you’ve got is rubbing all over the back of our necks.  Whether we’re good actresses or simply mature enough to accept you for who you are…you’ll never know.

Nose hair
Sure, it may hurt, but if I’m willing to put hot wax on my vagina to please you, then take one for the team and tweeze those spider legs coming out of your nostrils.  Not feeling so manly?  Mini-scissors can also work wonders.  Something.  Anything.

The Rape ‘Stache
For those guys who can’t grow full-on facial hair.  It’s those few stray hairs that grow around your mouth or under your chin.  You’re like a thirteen year old going through puberty, except you’re 25 trying to look like Burt Reynolds.  Throw in the towel, it’s not gonna happen, Champ.

Toes
Feet should not be hairy.  Case closed.

Ears
If you’ve got it goin’ on in your ears, I don’t want to know about it.  Then again, if you often get mistaken for the Missing Link, I probably don’t want to know you in general.  Sorry.

When I first heard that Joe Jonas couldn’t keep it together post break up with girlfriend Camille Belle and sobbed on stage during a show, I thought it was adorbs. A guy who is in touch with his emotions and willing to let it all out in front of 25,000 people? Be still my heart.

But then I started to wonder if weepy boyf is really all that appealing. Or if any of the qualities we look for in guys are really all that great in reality. We all want that perfect clean-cut, handsome, sensitive, funny and smart guy who dresses well and treats us like a princess. But why? If you’re “lucky” enough to find him, you’ll soon realize he can’t give you your happy ending after all.

The Dream: A nice clean-cut boy toy.
The Reality: Okay, so guys tend to be dirtier than women. And sometimes it can just be gross. Really gross. And what’s worse than having than a guy with crusty armpits on his shirts and a faint aroma of fart? Uh, how about a guy who takes longer to get ready than you, or one who douses himself in Axe so you can smell him 10 minutes before he shows up at your door? Or a guy who makes you look and feel like total crap on a Sunday when you’re too hungover to shower, so you take the day off?

The Dream: A guy who takes care of himself
The Reality: As many of us can attest, there isn’t much less attractive than a dude with random patches of hair on his back/shoulders/between his brows/in his nose. And no one can deny that running your hands over a smooth hair-free chest (with six-pack abs) feels amazing.  But when you’re getting a manicure with the girls, you don’t want to have to see your guy come in for his 2 hour body waxing appointment. Or deal with all. that. stubble when it starts to grow back. And have you ever interacted with bald balls? Yeah, I always wanted a guy to do a little trimmy trim down there too…until my guy did.

Take it from me: SCARY. Read More »

Body hair – for good reason – is a topic not often discussed. For one thing, there are far more interesting topics to talk about (like cupcakes, for example) than the unfortunate sprouting under your arms. For another, what is there really to discuss? It is pretty much understood that body hair needs to go away. End of discussion.

But, being a single woman who happens to be quite lazy when it comes to body hair maintenance, I really needed to know a few things. You see, I have found myself a precarious situation many times; I am invited back to someone’s house, sex is inevitable, but as I take his hand and follow him out to the cab I realize that I haven’t shaved my legs. In 4 weeks.

Is this a deal breaker? Do I tell him? Do I offer a rain check on the (what is sure to be amazing) sex? Do we swing by CVS on the way home to pick up a Quattro?

I asked my resident male advice-giver to give it to me straight. First he looked at me blankly. Then he asked my feelings on beards. Then he had this to say.

He Said:

In America, unlike France and most third world countries, we like our women as hairless as possible. And despite all the time, money and pain that goes into the hair-removal process, women prep themselves daily to avoid the humiliation of being caught in public with even a few wispy strands on their legs, or–heaven forbid!–a miniscule tuft emerging from their armpits. Not even eyebrows are allowed a moment of unruliness.

Men don’t often realize how much time women put into looking hot, each and every day. When getting ready to leave the house, all guys do is shower (maybe), shave our faces (sometimes) and throw on some pants (reluctantly). Because of this, we forget how much work goes into having a perfectly groomed bikini line, or hairless legs. And because we forget, seeing hair in places we don’t expect definitely surprises us, sometimes turning us off altogether. Read More »

Everyone has that one thing they cannot stand in the opposite sex. It may not be rational (“His jeans are always an inch too short!”), but that doesn’t matter; we can’t help what turns us on (nibbling on my ear…mmmmmm) and off (man necklaces).

This week we asked our writers what made them cringe. (And, yes, everyone agreed that small undies/lots of guns/long hair/ and multiple guitars all lying out on a tarp is pretty effing gross.) Guys, if you are reading this, take note. For real.

Melanie – Northeastern University: I hate cocky attitudes with a tee shirt to match, like, “got your tickets to the gun show?” No thank you!

J – NYU: The way guys’ dirty socks smell. I swear. It could be a terrorist weapon.

Jennifer: I know it’s stupid, but honestly… bad grammar. Maybe it’s just the writer coming out in me, but people who use proper grammar sound intelligent… and I’m a sucker for boys with brains!

Suzie – George Washington University: I feel horrible for being so superficial but I cannot deal with man boobs. They freak me out like… like… *silent scream*

Conan – Columbia College: Smoking. Or fake laughter. Read More »

Spring has officially sprung here in New York City; the sun dress is here to stay, as are flip-flops, tank tops and shorts. If you’re like me, you might be looking down at your hairy, pasty legs and thinking “dear God, I actually miss December!”

And of course our trusty womens magazines are all about “getting ready for Summer” articles, reminding us that now is the time for manicures, pedicures, armpit shaving, leg shaving, fake tanner and…bikini waxes?

Really?

Bikini waxes are painful and, even worse, expensive! Cosmo online tells me I should wax about every 3 weeks, which would add up to probably about $400 over the summer months (considering the average bikini wax in NYC costs at least $50 w/tip!). At the moment I am a) single and b) not a surfer/lifeguard/swimmer/bikini model, so why the heck am I supposed to be getting bikini waxes? Painting my toes, shaving my legs, I get it–those are the bits that people can see when I’m wearing my little sun dress and flip-flops. Are shorts-that-are-so-short-we-can-see-your-pubes a new trend I haven’t heard about yet? Does casual Friday now include swim wear?

Someone, anyone: please enlighten me! Do you get bikini waxes in the Summer, even if you have no intention of hitting the beach/pool/water park?

Let’s face it. Not all of your boyfriends are going to be bronzed Adonis’s, chiseled-like statues and ripe to become Calvin’s next boxer-brief model.

Nope… just like you girls, every single guy carries a unique body, and among the variables that you’re apt to come across are the various amounts of body hair.

Of all of men’s body features, body hair is the one that seems to conjure up the most dissension among women. Some girls actually like body hair, think it denotes manliness, and enjoy playing with it when they are frolicking around with a guy. Some girls really couldn’t care less either way, which I admire.

But there are quite a few girls who think body hair is among the more disgusting features that a guy can have, and would rather die than get close with a guy who’s showing even the slightest bit of chest hair through his button down shirt.

However, despite the fact that some girls are OK with body hair, hair appearing on a guy’s back is almost universally reviled. And as a long time member of the incredibly exclusive Hairy Back Club (I’ll actually be announcing my candidacy to be its next president sometime in the near future), I don’t really get this massive aversion.

Sure, I guess it’s unsightly, but it’s not like it’s different hair than what’s on a guy’s chest, legs or arms. Moreover, as far as I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be some new movement that I’m unaware of which involves making out with a guy’s back, nor do our backs feature any major erogenous zones, so aesthetic reasons aside, there’s really no good explanation. Read More »

Like Nair, I’ve always been a little freaked out by my hair.

Being Italian, I’m blessed with lots of the stuff. It’s nice on my head, but anywhere else…a little less so. At least according to society.

The first time I realized nobody liked a hairy girl was in 6th grade. I was sitting in class in a t-shirt, trying to deal with early June heat and a new sensation I now know as “bra sweat”.

A kid, who I’m pretty sure was (and probably still is) named David, turned around and stared at me while the teaching wasn’t looking. “Yo, look at your arms!” he said as loudly as only a 12-year-old boy can, “who invited Harry and the Hendersons over?”

Harry and the Hendersons was a show based around Bigfoot.

That stinging comment has (obviously) stayed with me for years, and since then I have shaved everything—at least everything I could reach.

I often wish I could just chuck the razor in the drawer and never deal with balancing precariously in my shower again, but 6th grade David is always around, along with completely hairless movie stars, magazine models, and guys who continually obsess over girls being clean shaven “down there”.

This girl, on the other hand, is no slave to the razor. At least, she hasn’t been for a year. Read More »