Labor day is all about spending the day thinking about how you don’t have work…if you’re a million years old. For those of us still in school, it’s all about going out hard on Sunday (ugh how strenuous was syllabus week, huh!?) and spending the day in your pajamas watching marathons all.day.long. And don’t even think about taking the effort to reach for that remote. Today is all about doing absolutely nothing. So that’s why we’ve put together this amazing list of every single marathon happening on Labor Day. Enjoy.

Oh and make sure not to get too many chip crumbs on your roomie’s Snuggie. She’ll never let you borrow it again.

Discovery Channel – Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe: So you’re feeling slightly depressed about your own job (or lack thereof) and you need the kind of “at least that’s not me” pick-me-up that can only come from watching a man crawl around in sewage for 8 hours. This is for you.

TLC – Little People, Big World: Need a change of scenery from your boring, ho hum life? How about looking at the world from 3 feet off the ground?

ABC Family – Secret Life of the American Teenager: Nothing says “Labor Day” quite like never ending teen pregnancy scares and fighting with your parents over curfew. For an entire day.

A & E – Hoarders: Honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone can watch more than 2 minutes of this show let alone an entire day’s worth. But if you like feeling nauseous and depressed, you’ll definitely want to keep your TV tuned in to A&E all day long.

Bravo – Real Housewives of New Jersey: If we needed a valid reason to watch this sh*tshow, it wouldn’t exist.

Disney – Suite Life on Deck: If you are feeling like you’re five again, why not check out Suite Life on Deck – and repeat after me, “I am still a grown up adult, I am still a grown up adult.”

Food Network – Semi-Homemade Cooking: Because the only way to get over the sting of not getting mom’s famous coleslaw is to watch food porn on the couch while munching on Chinese take-out.

FX – Two and a Half Men: Because there is no Jersey Shore marathon and apparently this show is funny.

Gameshow Network – Baggage: Stop worrying if your sext to your  T.A was inappropriate and focus on people who actually have real relationship issues. Like really real issues. They wouldn’t be on the Gameshow network if they were just messing around.

Hallmark – I Love Lucy: Sick of color TV? Craving the days when Snooki wasn’t being mentioned on every network? Well pull a Pleasantville and hunker down for a day of good old-fashioned fun. Old-fashioned being the key word. Lucy and Ricky manage to have a baby, yet never once talk about how that happened.

History – Pawn Stars: Throw the History Channel a bone. They’re trying so hard to be hip and fun and cool. It’s like watching your Mom log on to Facebook. You just can’t help but feel sorry for the old gal.

HGTV – House Hunters International: What’s that? You’ve seen every house in America! No worries, we’re going international!

Soap – Beverly Hills 90210: This is where it all began, people! Before Gossip Girl, The O.C. and the new (and crappy) 90210. Where we first learned how to deal with abusive boyfriends, cults, divorce, suicide, and what it’s like to be inexplicably rich and angsty. And, of course, there will be plenty of high waisted, acid washed jeans.

TBS – The Office: It wouldn’t be a long weekend without some major awkwardness (Michael Scott is on par with hooking up with someone on your floor) and some Scranton comedy.

TNT – Bones: If you have a slight craving for some modern Law & Order meets House (i.e. dark humor) and an excuse to feel like you uncovered a mystery per episode, tune into Bones.

Travel – Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: Think Eat, Pray, Love + steroids – inhibitions and you have Anthony Bourdain’s food show. It’s revolting and appealing all at once. Not too much different than the thought of eating breakfast when you’re hungover.

TV Land – The Nanny: For the masochist in all of us.

U.S.A – N.C.I.S: The perfect show to flip to when your R.OT.C crush walks by the lounge. Other than that…we’re not sure why people under 50 turn this on.

VH1 – The T.O Show: Otherwise known as  “How NOT to Behave if you’re a human being.”

WE – Ghost Whisperer: Lost your Oujia board? No worries! Check out the show that’s making it possible for Jennifer Love Hewitt to keep her career.

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(In a calculus class.)

Professor: Does anyone know the answer? *points to guy in class* What about you? And say, do I know you? You look familiar.

Guy: I took this class before. And no, I don’t.

(Two bros, walking in the rain.)

Bro 1: Yo, when I say “no homo,” it means you let me under your umbrella.

(Two girls playing with a Slinky.)

Girl 1: See that? If human fat had bones, that’s how it would look.

(Group of friends, walking across campus.)

Guy: You know what meth heads think about? Meth.

(Girl, in an English class.)

Girl: Wasn’t that, you know… the British lady. Madeline Albright? No. Madeline L’Engle.

Professor: Margaret Thatcher?

Girl: Yeah. That one.

(Two girls, studying in the library.)

Girl (reading): The average tomato, when it gets to your plate, has been touched by over 50 strangers.

Girl 2: Along with over 100 people you know!

(Guy, in a crowded movie theater.)

Guy: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, MANSQUITO!

(Three girls, hanging out in a dorm lobby.)

Girl 1: Mon Mothma, Han doesn’t understand me like you do. I need the guidance of an older woman.

Girl 2: But… Leia, what about Chewie?

Girl 3: Oh my god. Guys, this is nerd porn in the making.

(Two guys, installing audio/visual equipment.)

Guy 1: Yo, man, we need more female to female over here!

Guy 2 (yelling down hall): Sorry! I’m all out of females!

(Girls, getting ready for a party.)

Girl 1: God, dealing with excess body hair is such a pain in the ass. Plucking eyebrows, weird tummy fuzz, shaving legs…

Girl 2: Oh! Speaking of which, let me put on this CD.

Girl 1: “Yeti Mating Calls?”

Girl 2: No, it’s just Shakira.

(Girl and guy, in the back of a class.)

Guy: Ach! Mein paintbrushen! I’ve lost them in the garden!

Girl: Quick! Find Hitler’s paintbrushes and prevent World War 2!

Little over a week ago, I missed one step down a flight of stairs (the last one, too) on the way to my boyfriend’s university’s annual Fancy Dress formal, which sent my favorite pair of Steve Maddens into an untimely death (my right heel split) as I sprained my ankle and broke my fifth metatarsal on my right foot. Screaming and crying as this occurred, I did what anyone else would have done (not!) – I put my torn heel back on my right foot, stopped my mascara from running, dusted my dress off, picked a few pieces of gravel out of my palms, and grabbed my boyfriend’s hand, letting him know I was still game to dance.

He protested, but I was on a mission to dance and enjoy the night. Nothing could have stopped me. So, we did just dance. We danced for hours, and it hurt like hell, but that was not going to stop me from twisting, turning, dipping, grinding, and all that good stuff. After having one of the best nights from this semester, the two of us called it a night, which is when reality hit in the form of red, black, purple, and blue bruises around my right foot and ankle.

Following a trip to the ER, six x-rays, and one doctor that wasn’t too eager to answer questions, I was sitting in a sticky vinyl wheelchair realizing that I broke my foot and sprained my ankle. Most people have a tendency to be accident prone (especially when alcohol is involved), but, damn, I really did it this time. A double whammy!

With a week of crutches under my belt, a soft cast and now an air-cast (picked by a super creepy orthopedic doctor over an actual hard, plaster cast), I can attest that college is not a place for crutches, casts, or broken bones of any kind. Every day activities have proved beyond difficult, from opening the door to the bathroom (which I swear weighs a ton) to getting a tray in the dining hall (I have to fully rely on my best friend to get my dinner for me). When I think of college, I think of independence, which I am sure I have lost in the last week and a half because now I have to rely on everyone around me for help.

Never had to rock crutches or a cast in school? Straight up, it sucks! If I am not going up and down the two flights of stairs in my residence hall (there is no elevator, and I live on the third floor), I am lying in bed with my foot elevated (still in pain – I have had a bit of difficulty with pain killers working effectively).

Walking to class used to take a minute or two, now I have to leave 20 minutes prior in hopes to get there on time. And the worst of it all (in my opinion) is the inability to shower. Although I have an aircast on (which I can take off during a shower), I still can’t maneuver around by myself well enough to make it to the shower or stand alone. So, now I have to wait until Thursdays for my boyfriend to come pick me up (I can’t drive anymore since it’s my right foot), so I can bathe like the rest of society.

Frustrating is the only word that comes to mind when describing this situation to other people. While I am blessed to have friends that go out of their way to help me and an amazing boyfriend that can be patient in taking care of me, I have to admit, my spirit is a bit down because I know I am in store for a lot of patience testing moments within the next six weeks. However, I know my broken foot and ankle needs to heal, so at least this torment of only wearing Soffe shorts and smelling like I haven’t bathed in days (and I haven’t) is worth it.

Although I will have my cast for the rest of the semester, it won’t even be off in time for my own formal or end of year parties that are coming up, I have to confess – I had the best time the night this happened. It seems stupid, foolish even, but knowing that was the last time I will have fun like that for awhile makes it even more worth it. I’d rather have that one crazy night of dancing on a broken foot instead of just going home and never dancing on it at the ball, after all. Call me crazy, but knowing that I had such a fabulous time makes up for the times I’ll be missing in the coming weeks.

Ok, so I know I can’t be alone in this. Who has broken something since being in college? Tell me. How did you survive? What was the hardest part? I want to hear everything about your stories.

But at TV dad? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Everyone at one point has been watching a show and had a rare, but undeniable attraction to a TV Dad. An “I wish I could reach into the TV, knock his wife out and take him right there on the kitchen table” sorta moment. Or a, “If that man didn’t have spit up on his shoulder I would totally do him,” situation.

I know I’m not alone….

There are just some delicious TV dads. The kind of dads that make dad crushes OK (or not quite as gross and sick and wrong).

So, instead of privately fantasizing about all the Hot Dads I’d like to screw, I’ve compiled a list for your reading and viewing pleasure.

Frank Lambert on Step-by-Step (played by Patrick Duffy). As one of the only men my mother and I agree on, this TV dad is totally scrumptious; he can balance his kids, his wife’s kids and handle the housework…all in skin tight jeans.

Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy (played by Desi Arnaz). Even in black & white, this dad can balance Lucy’s crazy antics and manage the Copacabana. Plus, he can sing. Nuff said.

Uncle Jesse on Full House (played by John Stamos). Yes, even with the mullet. As everyone’s favorite rebel, when Uncle Jesse became a daddy to twins on Full House, he got even hotter. Who can ride a Harley, rock out in his basement and change a diaper? This guy can. Sign me up.

Tom Scavo on Desperate Housewives (played by Doug Savant). No man is hotter on this show than Mr. Scavo, who has a litter of children running around. He’s got a hot body and a smile to kill. I would definitely ride my bike around his neighborhood (if you know what I’m sayinnnn’).

Elliot Stabler on Law & Order: SVU (played by Christopher Meloni). I love a man in uniform. He gets the bad guys and tries to be the best dad for his girls. Not to mention, his abs and tattoos are a serious killer for me.

Sam Bennet on Private Practice (played by Taye Diggs). I love him in How Stella Got Her Groove Back, and now, playing a hot, alternative medicine doctor dad on TV only adds to this man’s serious hotness.

Seeley Booth on Bones (played by David Boreanez). If you liked him on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you’ll like this more mature, still seriously dreamy, David Boreanez. A hot dad on TV and a fantastic husband in real life. Sooooo delicious.

Michael Vaughn on Alias (played by Michael Vartan). I love his character on Alias; fighting crime and being a good daddy in the mix. Plus, he’s not too shabby to look at either. Tell me you didn’t love him in Never Been Kissed…I sure did. Although, now he’s a little daddy-er, a little older and a whole lot sexier.

John Winchester on Supernatural (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan). His dimples, his hot sons, his hot body, his dimples, his raspy sexy voice, oh and, did I mention his dimples? He watched his wife die on the show, raised his own sons to be supernatural ass kickin’ dudes and he’s an ex-marine. HELLO?!?!! Where are these men in real life??? (Yes, I realize supernatural ass kickin’ dudes are about as real as Heidi Montag’s lips.)

Luke Danes on Gilmore Girls (played by Scott Patterson). Initially not a father, but just a loving friend of Lorelai and Rory, Luke’s world gets turned upside down when April comes into the picture and proves he’s her dad. He always does the right thing (adorable) and I sure wouldn’t mind coming into the local diner and getting my eggs and toast from him every morning (hot).

Who are your favorite TV dads???

It’s unconditional love!

So, in addition to bones, treats, and snacks for your little pup, you could always splurge on an outfit for your mutt! Perfect, right?

In theory, sure. Maybe you have a little dog who needs the extra layers when it’s January and -25 degrees outside. Maybe you throw doggie boots on him when it’s icy (or you live in a city where the sidewalks may tear up your puppy’s feet).

But you know what I do have a problem with?

Hipster dog outfits.

Since when does a dog need clothing from American Apparel?

I mean, if it’s necessary, fine. But I’d like to remind all those girls out there that dogs aren’t dolls. You can’t forget that dog’s are creatures. They’re alive. And unless they’re literally freezing their tails off, probably don’t like wearing clothes.

Before you subject your pet to hopeless trends, remember that dogs hold all the power in the relationship.

If you’re prone to making your dog wear a hoodie everyday, I’d watch where I step for awhile.

In a surprise move, it’s trendy to look like skeletor. I can’t say that I’m terribly thrilled or shocked about this recent turn of events. With voluminous spring fashions, the hot part of your body to show off is your clavicle. The clavic-what? It’s that bone between your collarbones, prominent on super-skinny celebs like Kate Bosworth and Kiera Knightly.

Even though everyone and their mom is obsessed with thinness, it’s definitely a strange part of the body to be stressing about. I mean, it’s just a little bone. The real appeal of showing this bit off is that it proves that under your billowy new dress, you’re skinny little thing. “The clothing threatens to make you look overweight and so you need a certain body to undo that threat,” said an expert on women and beauty, “In that clothing, one has to find a way of revealing an authentically thin body.” How delightfully twisted.

Although the look has gotten popular recently, Rachel Zoe, the famous spindly stylist, has always tried to emphasize the area with deep V-neck tops on such skeletal clients like Nicole Richie. I suppose if you’ve taken the trouble to starve yourself down to nothing, you probably want to show off your bones and make everyone else uncomfortable and a little queasy. Two thumbs up for making bones cool Rachel!

The author of “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body,” said that many of the girls she interviewed for her book, “talked about how far their collarbone stuck out,” with pride, as proof of how skinny they were. For a lot of girls, getting that chic bony frame is like getting into Harvard or something.

Awesome… As if our generation isn’t screwed up enough already without having the clavicle being the new “in body part”. I mean, most of us are completely nuts about our weight already. About 10% of college women already have eating disorders. I don’t want to be another voice blaming the fashion industry, but isn’t this a little too blatant?

When I was reading about this in the New York Times style section during lunch today, I literally went a little nutso. I was eating delicious Vietnamese take-out (shrimp with hot pepper sauce over lemon grass and vermicelli) and I literally spent the next 30 minutes googling Vietnamese food to figure out how many calories I just ate and then I slipped into the bathroom to see how my clavicle shaped up to the clavicles of the cool kids on the pages of Elle. Son of a bitch. Needless to say, my lunch was completely ruined.

I miss the days of the super supermodels—Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Naomi Campbell (even though she’s a huge bitch apparently). Now all the models look like sad manual laborers, complete with frowns and dark circles—nothing super about that. Sigh… The second people start having surgeries to enhance their clavicle, is the second I’m moving to a country that isn’t full of complete wack-jobs.