Sometimes you need a glass of wine.

And sometimes – like after you come home from bombing an exam to find an email from your long distance boyfriend saying he “just can’t do it anymore” and you knock a glass of water onto your brand new MacBook – you need a lot more. But something about chugging Two Buck Chuck straight from the bottle is neither classy nor refined, and having to keep pouring glass after glass just slows down the healing process.

Sounds like to need this (big) guy.

A wine glass big enough to hold a full bottle of Boones Farm Strawberry Fields?

I’ll take two, please.

The week from hell is finally over. Three exams, a paper and a group presentation (though “group” is a loose term since you pretty much did the entire thing) down, now 5 shots and a few hours of dancing to go.

You are exhausted, but also ready to grab a bottle of Boones Farm and get this party started. You head home, load up on the carbs and get ready for a night of post-hell celebration with the girls.

Being that you spent every waking moment (and there were a lot of them) of the last week in sweats, you want to doll it up for tonight: tight jeans, low-cut cami and the highest of heels that you’ve got. You don’t say this often, but you look good. Really good.

You head to the kitchen where you “eyeball” a shot – or 2 – into a glass, fill it with your mixer of choice and mix it all together with whatever is closest: a knife, your finger…. Pretty soon the rest of your friends are ready to go and you head off into the night. Read More »

Just in case you forgot, tonight is the end to yet another glorious season of The Hills. But don’t shed a tear, because The City, Whitney Port’s new show in NYC, is starting up next week! Thank you, MTV, for giving me a continuous dose of really bad (fake) reality TV. Love you!

Anyways, tonight is more than just another episode. There is a possible Heidi/Lauren reunion! And a party! And interviews! And a performance by The Pussycat Dolls!

Oh yeah, it’s gonna be huge.

And CollegeCandy is gonna be there. Yeah, we are sneaking in a fabulous CC writer to check out the entire scene and report back tomorrow morning on the clothes, the silicone, and the flesh colored beard. So, kick your parents out of the living room, pop open a bottle of Cristal Boones Farm and watch The Hills with us tonight.

Ok, maybe not good, but according to a study by Beckley Foundation’s Global Cannabis Commission (I know! How do I get a job there?!), weed isn’t nearly as dangerous as all those Boones Farms you’ve been chugging.

“Historically there have only been two deaths worldwide attributed to cannabis, whereas alcohol and tobacco together are responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per annum in the UK alone.”

In fact, the only thing that makes pot a dangerous drug stems (haha, stems) from the fact that it isn’t legal: the crime that surrounds it, all that crazy sh*t people are lacing it with these days, etc. By making pot legal, people would be able to regulate it and keep it safe.

Not to mention stimulate the economy and create more jobs: people to grow it, people to sell it, people to regulate it, people to supply all the stoned kids with enough Cheez Its and Twinkies to get through the day…

Seriously, marijuana could keep this country from a depression! (And if it doesn’t, it could make the depression more bearable…or hilarious!)

Down with that dangerous alcohol!

Bring on the cannabis!

After far too long without college football, I took a trip back up to my old school to watch the first game of the season. I figured my friend and I would grab some lunch at our favorite restaurant, watch the game from the non student section with her parents, and head home when the day was over.

Upon arriving on campus we immediately headed to lunch where we began our meal with a Bloody Mary and some Mojitos. It was at that moment that I realized our leisurely Saturday afternoon was going to be anything but.

The combination of the rum pumping through my veins and my excitement at being back on campus got me feeling all nostalgic. I missed campus, I missed my friends, and, most of all, I missed getting completely sh*tcanned before a football game.

So we followed our hearts and decided to do it up college style.

I chugged Franzia with some frat boys (“BABIES! You can’t chug for your life!”), downed Boones Farm with my friends – and that was before we even left the lawn. I had a 40 on my way to the game, which I shared with some random band playing on a porch that belonged to people I did not know. And I sang bad 80’s songs into the mic. Read More »

I watch the Olympics every night in awe. Here I am sitting on my couch – MacBook on my lap, ice cream sandwich in my hand – as the world’s best athletes compete.

These are people who have sacrificed so much and worked so hard to be the best in their sport. These are people who have given everything they have (and then some) to get to this point in their athletic careers. These truly are the best of the best on the planet.

It is really something to think about.

And then there is Michael Phelps who is not only the best guy in the pool this year, but ever. Ever in history. 8 gold medals in a single Olympics. Pretty freaking amazing.

It was actually watching Phelps win his 8th medal that got me thinking about all of this. Yeah, watching a 48 year old woman win the Olympic marathon was pretty sweet, but Phelps really hit home for me. After all, he trained at Michigan; we walked the same streets, ate at the same restaurants and, if I ever even knew where it was, could have swam in the same pool. Read More »

Getting sick of the Olympics? Don’t care anymore now that you can’t see Phelps in a Speedo? Worried about how you are going to spend your Monday night?!

Worry no more, friends.

The Hills and all of its blonde drama is back!

And you don’t even have to watch alone!

CollegeCandy will be liveblogging the entire episode from the comfort of our very comfy couch with a bottle of Boones Farm and a box of Oreo’s. We will even be online (CollegeCandy 27 on AIM), so we can bitch about Heidi’s boobs and Lauren’s ‘tude together!

Sounds like the perfect evening to me.

So join us tonight. 10PM. MTV. And come back tomorrow morning for the usual recap.

And just in case you needed a little refresher, here is a look back at the happenings of the L.A. ladies the last time we watched. Ugh – I hope LC nixed that weird braid thing. Maybe then she’d find some true love.

This morning while slightly (and by slightly I mean, shoot-me-in-the-face) bored at work, I illegally signed into my AIM.

(Tip to all you working ladies out there: www.meebo.com is a wonderful site where you can log onto AIM and your bosses will never know. Mwahahaha)

Anyhoo, an equally sly and bored friend of mine was clearly also looking for some entertainment so we started chatting.

And at 10:14 AM on October 17, 2007 I had my first New Year’s 2008 query.

Yes, I think this is my new record. Usually New Year’s discussions don’t start until at least after Halloween, but post-college/big city life calls for a whole new set of rules. Read More »