I’m down for excitement. Spicing things up. Breaking the monotony. Exploring new boundaries. Life is too short to be completely stuck in your ways. But sometimes (or most of the time), I am perfectly content with my routine. I like a certain level of predictability. Once I find something I truly enjoy, I am inclined to stick with it. This manifests itself in me ordering the same few dishes at restaurants, buying certain cuts of dresses over others, sticking to certain brands of shoes, and, yes, the same few sexual positions.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we tried a variety of positions to find the ones that we both liked the best. Once we found them, I was way less inclined to be more experimental. And I’m totally okay with it. I like going into sex knowing that I will derive immense pleasure from it. It’s satisfying to know that 99.9 percent of the time, I will orgasm in a certain position, in a certain angle, with a certain amount of thrusting. I like not having to worry about awkward maneuvering because we’re both so familiar with these positions that it comes easily and naturally.

I understand the importance of exploring the various ways you can be turned on, of trying to inject some excitement into an otherwise uninspiring routine. That said, sometimes the reason why you do the same things over and over and over again are because you find them enjoyable and pleasurable, not because you are stuck in a rut. Read More »

It’s easy enough to say that if you’re not sure if you’re having good sex, you’re not having it — but I’m not convinced that’s necessarily true. I have this theory that sex is a lot like your elementary school chemistry class (stay with me….): You have to put the right ingredients together in order to make that volcano explode, but as time goes on and you keep dumping in the baking soda, that explosion gets less and less fantastical.

The thing with sex is that you can’t always tell when it’s just a rut or when you’re sexually incompatible. I mean, at first glance they both look similar — lack of sex, frustration, etc. — but there are a few differences. So before you make any rash decisions, ask yourself:  is the sex just getting boring (but fixable!) or are you and your partner sexually incompatible?

You might be incompatible if…

It’s never been great.
Pain and a lack of chemistry are a couple of good indicators that it’s more than just boring. It’s nearly impossible to enjoy sex if it’s painful (unless you’re into that), and sometimes an off-kilter penis-to-vagina ratio can cause more than a little discomfort. If you never went through a “honeymoon period” where the sex was incredible but eventually died off — or if that period was disappointingly short (I’m talking a week), then perhaps incompatibility is the issue, not a lack of excitement.

Read More »

Here’s a fun bit of information for all you “sex is way better when it’s with the one you love, blah, blah, blah” peeps.

Turns out, it’s not.
And, no, I’m not just saying that. I’ve got some stats to back it up!

As much as many of us would expect women to crave and adore the standard missionary position with their man in the same bed, for the same amount of time, night after a night—well, shockingly, many do not! A recent sex study found that the majority of married women would rather catch up on their reading or get extra sleep than have sex with their husbands. And an even greater majority of women (a whopping 81 percent!) complained their sex lives were way too predictable, based on location, position, time of day, duration and foreplay.

…….

Sorry, dozed off there for a second. That sex routine is bor….wait for it….ing. Read More »

Sometimes I work out these elaborate sex scenes in my head. It’s like I’m a porn star-but even cooler cause I have more creative moves and not so much lip liner. I’m usually on my way to meet some potentially sexy dude when these fantasies take place. They’re like confidence assemblies in my mind. I’m usually wearing lacey panties and have embodied Shane from The L Word, except I’m straight. So me and sexy dude meet up, and invariably, we flirt over drinks. Alcohol does its job at making me even more sold on the idea of crazy sex moves while making me more incapable of them simultaneously.

Ohhhh, alcohol.

Lets skip to the part where sexy dude and I are about to do it. Read More »