I know, giving is just as important as receiving. Sex is about all parties involved, and I absolutely believe that no one should feel deprived of pleasure after a hook up. But everyone has their limits, their deal breakers, their things that they’re just not that into. And I think it’s just as important to acknowledge that, and to a) accept it or b) move on to the next.

I have a friend whose boyfriend is into anal. Not in an annoying, begs for it nonstop kind of way (he never even initiates it), but it is something that he enjoys doing. So she consents to it. They use lube and start slow and are generally pretty responsible about it, but it’s not her cup of tea. She finds it pretty excruciating, only derives a nominal amount of pleasure from it, and doesn’t feel great after the fact. But she has made it a resolution to get better and try to enjoy it more, for her boyfriend’s sake. Perhaps I’m more selfish than I like to think I am, but  I cannot jump on board with her resolution because it seems to me she has perfectly valid reasons to not want to engage in anal, and I fail to see the point in coercing herself into enjoying it more than she does. Read More »

I’m down for excitement. Spicing things up. Breaking the monotony. Exploring new boundaries. Life is too short to be completely stuck in your ways. But sometimes (or most of the time), I am perfectly content with my routine. I like a certain level of predictability. Once I find something I truly enjoy, I am inclined to stick with it. This manifests itself in me ordering the same few dishes at restaurants, buying certain cuts of dresses over others, sticking to certain brands of shoes, and, yes, the same few sexual positions.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we tried a variety of positions to find the ones that we both liked the best. Once we found them, I was way less inclined to be more experimental. And I’m totally okay with it. I like going into sex knowing that I will derive immense pleasure from it. It’s satisfying to know that 99.9 percent of the time, I will orgasm in a certain position, in a certain angle, with a certain amount of thrusting. I like not having to worry about awkward maneuvering because we’re both so familiar with these positions that it comes easily and naturally.

I understand the importance of exploring the various ways you can be turned on, of trying to inject some excitement into an otherwise uninspiring routine. That said, sometimes the reason why you do the same things over and over and over again are because you find them enjoyable and pleasurable, not because you are stuck in a rut. Read More »

We live in a social media obsessed world. There’s Facebook, Myspace, (although I wonder if anyone actually still uses it), Twitter, and many blogging platforms such as Tumblr, WordPress, and Blogger. Although we upload our pictures to Flickr and Facebook all the time or write about our weekend experiences in personal blogs, there could be a possible downside to all of this internet exposure: According to the Wall Street Journal, 85% of hiring managers Google a candidate before or after an interview. This fact, which is becoming more and more well-known, brings up the question: To blog or not to blog?

While I’m not saying that anyone who publicly posts pictures of themselves puking into a fraternity bathroom shouldn’t be a cause for concern, I am posing the question of boundaries and what and when a company should base their decision on hiring someone because of what comes up when they use Google. For example, take all the CollegeCandy contributors. Should our future bosses decline an interview with us, even though our resumes may be well qualified, simply because we once wrote an article that mentions sex or highlights the importance of birth control?

Personally, I think keeping a blog of any kind is a worthwhile venture. As a writer, I like to post things I’m interested in, things that drive me crazy, and of course, continuously write about things that matter to me (this includes everything from literary theory criticisms to the correct usage of the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s infamous phrase “prostitution whore”). However, I often worry that if I post liberal-sided articles or a picture of me enjoying a glass of wine that someone may use those things against me and blow them out of proportion one day. Despite more and more social media outlets being introduced to society on a regular basis, it seems like the idea of censorship or hiding oneself (at least the internet brand of oneself) is becoming a constant battle. Read More »

You finally made it over to the bed. His shirt is off, your underwear is soaring across the room. The lights are dim. The bed is quickly being destroyed. Lips are locked and you’re ready for sexy time. And then you hear the tap, tap, tap at the door.

Ah, interruptions during sex.

Everyone hates it, but in college, it seems unavoidable.  Maybe college students just don’t have the decorum to realize that if the door is shut, locked, and the person inside is yelling and pleading for you to go away, you should just walk away. Or perhaps since most college students are used to sharing everything from computer labs to showers, they think trying to walk in on their roommates sexy time is a-ok.

Seriously, whenever my boyfriend and I are trying to have some alone time, one of his three idiot roommates ruins the moment. It is usually like clockwork. If one of them isn’t sliding pennies under the door (yes, this happens. It’s strange, I know) to get my boyfriend’s attention, it is his annoyingly pompous roommate knocking to “inquire” about a bill. Oh, and my personal favorite is when they need to borrow my boyfriend’s stapler. It’s 1am on a Saturday, why the hell do you need a stapler?

If we wanted them to join, I’m sure we would leave the door open. But we don’t. And I don’t get it. If we just said goodnight twenty minutes ago, why are you sliding pennies under the door? What is it that makes people so oblivious to the need of alone time with a significant other? Maybe human beings secretly enjoy ruining the moment for someone; a little satisfaction knowing that a simple interruption can make a couple lose the desire for the moment. Or maybe that need for the stapler really is that imperative. Read More »