Dear SATC gods:

We city dwellers and big-city hopefuls would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t create another Sex & The City movie. Ever heard the term “three’s a crowd?” Yeah, well, however cliché it may sound, it’s incredibly appropriate for your dreams of a potentially disastrous third movie. So, since we’ve been hearing rumors that it’s a possibility, we thought it was a good time to sit down and talk.

Let me begin by saying: I am a huge SATC fan. I am Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda all balled into one and my obsession with their extravagant vacays, condo-sized closets and flagrantly glam’d up lifestyles is downright dangerous. Yet I think I speak for many SATC fans when I say that you have fulfilled your duty — let the six seasons and two movies live on. Where else could you possibly go with the storyline?

Carrie & Mr. Big are finally married, and no, we don’t see any kids in the future. Imagine Carrie Bradshaw with kids! Oh that’s right, you can’t.

Miranda & Steve have finally settled their differences and they are happy together. A third installment to the SATC series would only take us on another Stiranda (that’s when Steve and Miranda’s relationship gets all stirred up. It makes sense, just go with it. ) rollercoaster that we’re not willing to ride.

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So posters for the new Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie (which has been pushed back like, 7 times) have just come out, and we gotta say, adding a lame picture to a weird title is definately not the way to get people interested in this flick.

What does this poster say to you?

(Besides “Tom Cruise and a bunch of old white dudes are gonna be in a long and serious movie that is based on a true story so it will also probably be boring but Tom Cruise is a CELEBRITY and the MAIN CHARACTER so you’ll sit through it regardless.”)

We already came up with that one.

[photo from JustJared]

Last week the release of the Emmy nominations brought some serious drama from the set of Grey’s Anatomy. As everyone who turns on the tv (or visits this site) already knows, Katherine Heigl said something very, very stupid. Something along the lines of, “I am a really great actress and I deserve an Emmy, but the lazy writers on my show didn’t really give me much to work with, so I decided to bow out to make people believe I am a kindhearted actress.”

Woops?

Naturally, this caused quite a commotion in the media and over at ABC where, apparently, Heigl has been stirring the pot. It seems that Kat has been demanding more money per episode and attempting to get out of her contract. ABC seems to be worried about losing her; she is one of the most well-known actors on the show — thanks to her recent box office hits – and losing her could mean losing some serious advertising moolah.

I know that I don’t know much about producing a TV show, but I do know a ton about watching one, so I feel that my opinion matters. So, I have one thing to say:

See ya later, Heigl. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Read More »

That’s right. Sylvester Stallone, who’s like 60 years old or something, has just inked a deal to star in two more films with his Rambo producers.

Strangely enough, Stallone’s two new (yet so old) films “Rocky Balboa” and “Rambo” actually did well at the box office, which means people still want to see this dude kick major ass with either his fist or a giant gun.

While I’m sure Stallone will create more movies based around testosterone and sparse dialogue (say what you want about him, but the guy understands his limitations), I doubt either of them will solve the burning question I’ve had since I was forced to watch the first Rambo movie:

What’s with the bandana?! Read More »

Out in Hollywood, there is a talented cross-dressing writer named Tyler Perry. Unfortunately, he is still pissed off. He has written and produced countless plays, musicals, films and TV shows – all targeting the African-American community. Tyler has created over $500M in revenues from his productions, and we can only assume he has banked a lot from that.

He bought a $5M mansion just outside of Atlanta. Yet, he is still pissed off. Tyler’s current movie “Why Did I Get Married?” ranked 2nd in Box Office revenues taking in $12.1M – yep, still pissed off. Why you ask? Because Perry’s series on TBS, “House of Payne,” is tanking.

I think 30 people are watching it, and that includes the cast, crew and family. So TBS did what any network would do – they said “Mr. Perry, your show sucks. Get it together of beat it!” Sadly, that was the wrong thing to say to the wrong person.

As if scripted from a bad network drama, the upcoming publicity battle is going to be epic.

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• Too bad NBC, Paris’ first interview is going to the King… Larry King. (TMZ)

• The Arctic Monkeys’ fans mosh in worlds largest mudpit. (dailymail)

• Most-expensive-comedy-ever bombs big at box-office. (deadlinehollywooddaily)

• Fergie fears her hamper wants to kill her. Meth is whack! (msn)

• The Tijuana Diet – Redbull and Diet pills. It will make you run faster. (woai)