Question for our dear friend Tuffinski?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and just maybs, just maybs, get a response.

Dear Tuffy Love,

I have a major crush on my RA. I know it’s wrong and the chances of something happening are almost zero, but I can’t seem to get rid of these feelings. He is super hot and funny and sweet and sooo cool. The problem is (other than the fact that he’s my RA) that he’s a senior and I’m only a freshman. I don’t know what to do. I’m torn between acting on my feelings and pretending they don’t exist.

I have a huge fear of rejection and I’m afraid of getting hurt and awkwardness. But it’s come to the point where I want to do something. I want to know if he feels the same way even a little. But I don’t even know how to go about approaching him about it. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? He does seem to give me preferential treatment over the other residents, but that could mean nothing. Help!

-Conflicted Read More »

Want your question answered by la Tuffita?! Email her your question at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly thang!

Dear Tuffy Tuv,

So there’s this guyyyyy (isn’t that how all of these emails start out?).  I reconnected with someone from high school in the beginning of the summer.  We hung out (and hooked up) a few times before he had to go back to school for the summer.  At first my mindset was, “Ok, we had a fun summer fling, maybe I’ll see him when he gets back.”   And at the time, I was totally OK with the idea.

About a week after he left, he started texting me every once in a while.  Then all of a sudden, there was a flurry of communication between us where he said he’d try to sneak out of school one day to see me, and visit again on the 4th.  Since these encounters he’s sent me some pretty cute texts about how he can’t wait to see me, hoping I’m free on such and such day so he can visit, etc.  This seems like a lot of effort just for some booty. I’m just not sure how to classify this relationship, and whether getting emotionally attached would end up hurting me at the end of the summer. And I HATE HATE HATE having “the talk”; is there any way to get some answers without it?

Thanks,
Anonymous Read More »

So you met a boy. A perfect boy. A boy who loves True Life marathons and Frosted Mini Wheats as much as you do. A boy who kissed you on the cheek after walking you home and took your number (instead of drunk-friending you on Facebook). You totally heart him.

After coming in the house and telling your roommates all about how sweet and funny and “OMG he was wearing the hottest jeans,” you lay in bed thinking about him. And make a mental note to get a bikini wax ASAP, because you will most definitely be seeing him (in the buff) sometime soon.

You spend the next day clutching your phone, willing it to ring. You take it to the library, the gym and even into the bathroom. You jump every time the phone rings and mentally prepare yourself to turn on the charm, only to realize it’s a friend or, of course, your mom. Finally, you receive a text message:

Hungover in the library. Not fun Read More »

So I was reading the news the other day–you know, the usual depressing stuff about the economy and my freakshow state government–when I came across an item that made me literally spit out my iced chai in bewildered shock.  According to this blog post on the New York Times, there is a set of parents in Sweden who are choosing to raise their child without a gender. For real.

The parents have not revealed their two-year-old child’s gender to anyone, save for a few close relatives who have changed its diaper. Their goal is to enable the child, called “Pop” in the media, to be raised in a liberal environment devoid of the limits of the social construct known as gender identity.  No “pretty girl” or “big boy” here – Pop is only referred to by its name, and has never learned gender pronouns like “his” or “hers.”

But it gets even more bizarre. You’d think the parents would be hell-bent on raising the kid to be androgynous, since wearing pretty dresses and big boy overalls are felonious acts in the crime family of gender stereotyping.  Instead, the parents choose to give Pop “girl” hair cuts and clothing on occasion, and other times Pop will wear “boy ” hair cuts and clothing.

To me, this action in particular corrupts their whole plan. I can support parents who want their child to be raised with the freedom to become whomever he or she wants to be, but if you’re going to dress the child in boy and girl clothing, you’re only going to confuse the kid. Strangers will remark to the parents on the street, “What a beautiful daughter! How old is she?” or “What a handsome young man!” causing Pop to stress about the concept of gender that his/her parents are working so hard to minimize.

Also, what happens when the kid goes to school?  What bathroom does Pop use? Pop will eventually have to get a driver’s license or some form of government ID, or, I don’t know, look down and see his/her genitalia. Will the parents stage a protest? Put that kid on pant-removal lockdown?

Somehow I think Pop may not turn out quite as well as his/her parents are hoping. What do you think? At what point does an experiment like this go too far?

Question for Tuffy? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which used to run every other Tuesday, but, starting in two weeks, will run every flipping Tuesday! Ask away!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m probably the least experienced person I know. Here’s a secret: I may have been kissed before but it was one of those sexless pecs so no real love there. I feel really awkward. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends but I’m really shy about sex. None of them has even gotten close. I’m only a freshmen in college but I’ve been here a while and have had opportunities to hook up ( I try however to avoid alcohol so some parties I won’t go to).

Anyway I was hoping to hook up with my crush but I don’t think I could tell him I like him or anything really. We hang out in groups a lot but I want to know how can I tell if he likes me? And if he does, how to confess?

Sincerly,

VERY Shy

Dear VERY Shy,

First of all, honey, be safe, please. Always use condoms EVERY TIME, no matter what. Okay? Got it? For real. It’s not worth the risk, EVER.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way: Read More »

Do you want to date Peter Pan? I don’t want to date Peter Pan. This could be partly due to the fact that I’m most familiar with the Mary Martin version of the movie, but still. What girl wants to be with a guy who would rather be in Neverland?

Of course, Peter Pans can be fun because they usually act like kids. They like to go out and play and shun anything to do with responsibility and growing up. They can make you feel young too. But isn’t there a point where we’re supposed to grow up? Can’t growing up be fun?

I for one enjoy growing up. And there was nothing more annoying than my ex who was constantly depressed about getting older. When it came to anything involving responsibility, he cringed and said, “why couldn’t I have just stayed in high school forever? Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

Um, no. Read More »

Wooo! I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to drink a bottle of wine while watching this anticipated and almost forgotten, brand new episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

On to the drama.

So last night was all about Bailey, who we usually know nothing about. But it’s never been more clear that her marriage is in shambles because of her obsession with her job.

Now at first, when her baby boy Tucker rolled in on a stretcher, I was ready to blame the husband. I mean, was that some kind of desperate and sick attempt to get some attention? Thankfully not, but I wasn’t cool with him blaming Bailey for the whole incident. I mean, dude, sh!t happens. I’m hoping that the healer was able to calm down the marital conflict there.

And while we’re on the subject, the healer woman interested me. I know most people probably thought her energy, shakra mumbo-jumbo was total bull but I wouldn’t write the practice off. Just think about how therapeutic yoga and meditation are — both of which are based upon using the body to increase well-being. It’s deep stuff. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 69

Mood: nervous

“We’ve got a few minutes before class is over, if anyone has any questions about anything…” Professor Mullen looked around the room, taking her glasses off her face and leaning against the board.

English 205 was one of the harder Freshman English classes, but word of mouth had made it one of the most popular, especially with guys. Professor Mullen was around 35, tall, blond, and aggressively smart. She had a good sense of humor but wasn’t afraid to put people in her place, and most guys had a thing for being “reprimanded by Ms. Mullen”.

“What about the soccer scandal?” A girl in the front of the class raised her hand, a bunch of pink bracelets clanking together on her arm. “Don’t you think the school should be doing more to find out what really happened?”

People who had been dozing during the lecture suddenly perked up, and my notebook doodling grinded to a halt. Next to me, Rebecca stiffened, and I could feel her eyes slide over to my face. Read More »

• London will be thinking of nothing but sex for months! (The Guardian)

• According to the last link, this title is totally deserved. (The Sun)

• This is the best practical joke ever. Also, Springfield cops are really understanding. (rrstar.com)

• This little kid means business! (seattlepi.com)

• A list of gay superheroes…in Harper’s Magazine? Weird. (Harper’s)