Alright, so every week, I volunteer at this after school program for inner city kids. And every week, I work with this grad student who gives me hope for men. Let’s call him Nick. I have the biggest crush on him. I want him even more than I want the spring line at J. Crew, which is saying something.

I’ve been working with Nick all year, and have had a stupid, schoolgirl crush on him since day one. He is so attractive (tall, a little stubble on his cheeks, a smile that takes over his whole face) that any girl would fall in love with him at first glance. But there are plenty of hot guys out there, and many of them also happen to be giant jerks. It’s Nick’s personality that sets him apart and makes me optimistic about my dating future.

Nick is really intelligent, super witty and has a great soul. The guy works with kids, for God’s sake, and he’s so good with them, too. Just last week he spent a half hour making a super hero mask for a second grader determined to develop an alter ego. I watched, my heart melting.

It might sound silly, but as I was playing an intense game of tag (more of a workout even than that Zumba class at the gym) with Nick and ten screaming children, I had a renewed faith in men. Not because Nick was chasing me (a dating scenario most college girls don’t get to enjoy often enough), but because I saw with my own two eyes a guy who actually was the complete package.

It doesn’t matter if my relationship with Nick never develops beyond playing and reading with kids once a week; for now, I am alright just knowing that there are good guys out there.  I have hope that I will eventually find one of my own, even if I have to deal with all those jerks before I get there.

But if Nick does want to play a few (sexy) games with me, I wouldn’t be opposed to that either….



1.“You intimidate me because you’re [insert your ethnicity here].” Hi, try responding to that—when you’re clearly not interested—without sounding like a complete racist. I deserve a drink from the bartender just for being made to feel that uncomfortable, thanks.

2. “You look like you should be on that show So You Think You Can Dance.” Caveat here is, if you are not dancing in any way, shape, or form. I’m wearing shorts and 4-inch heels, these aren’t exactly my dancing shoes, but thanks?

3. “A girl like you should always have a guy next to her. Always.” Yes, I concur. To keep creepers like yourself from getting too close to me.

4. “You’re so [pick your most painfully obvious feature. Even if you're just average, imagine someone is saying that to you in a complimentary fashion.]” There’s a difference between being observant and having tact. I can see which one you picked…

I also enjoy the random men who offer life advice:

“If a man isn’t willing to rub your feet at the end of the day, get rid of him. You can do better than that.” This was legitimately thrown my way one night at a friend’s birthday party. I’m not even creative enough to dream this sh*t up. I mean, does this guy have a total foot fetish? Is he staring at my Gladiator-ed feet and getting a little….turned on?

I’m pretty attached to my pedicure place, actually. I get the sentiment, but I think I’m fine with general emotional attachment, flowers, dinner, etc. Foot massage is not a prerequisite of mine when choosing a boyfriend, or even a one-night stand.

Alright ladies, I know it’s not just me. What are some of the worst lines you’ve gotten lately?

[photo courtesy of cin1977's blog:]