Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m a college sophomore girl and I seem to have a major problem with boys — I am CLUELESS when it comes to them! I just got out of a short relationship (actually my first one) and what it made me realize was I gravitate toward guys who express their interest in me FIRST because I feel unworthy of the guys that I have a crush on (like they’re too good for me or something along that line). Now, I have my eye on a new guy right now, but these questions are mainly for any guy I’m interested in, in the future. But as for this guy, I’ve gotten his number and we’ve talked a few times, one of those times being with my roommate and his roommate, and the talks were all pretty short and “meaningless.” Now first of all, if I just simply want to get to know a guy better, how much is too much as far as texting goes and how much should I go up to his room to talk to him (we’re in the same dorm)? I’m really focused on just getting to know him better before I start to dive into something, if it’s there. BUT when/if I do get to the flirting part, HOW DO I DO THAT? How much is too much?

Sincerely,

Boy-Inept

Dear Boy-Inept,

Honey, I’m gonna be honest with you: I think you’re just chicken. Texting?! OMG. How NOT effective can you be. No! Girl!!! Go to his room once. Ask him if he wants to grab coffee. And THAT’S how it’s done. Confident. Cool. Fun. THAT’S what guys like. And you can so be those things. It’s all about working up the courage. Anyone can do it. So listen up, the rest of youse:

(1) Decide on a day and time you will make your (very casual) move.
(2) An hour before you do it, have a dance party by yourself. Put on your favorite music and dance that shoop out.
(3) A half hour before, get dressed and spray yourself with perfume. No changing.
(4) Five minutes before, look yourself in the eye in a big mirror and say eight times out loud: “I am awesome.”
(5) Go say hi to him and ask him if he wants to grab coffee.

Wow. So easy. You can totally do this.

Because, like, what’s coffee?! Chances are, he wants to hang out with you ANYWAY. But no matter what, it’s a totally tiny commitment. And once you have coffee with him, you’ll know if you’re even interested in trying again. It’s so win-win I could vom.

I’m rooting for you, girl.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Qvestion? Ansver: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve never wanted a relationship. I mean, I’m 19 years old, why should I? Now, dating, that’s where it’s at. But I keep finding myself in sticky situations. I’ll be seeing a guy and he’ll bring up the “exclusive” conversation when, wait a second, weren’t we diggin’ this whole casual thing two dates ago? What changed?

I guess my problem is that I’m always the bad guy. I don’t intend to hurt anyone and I make sure I’m communicating that I don’t want a boyfriend right now. I don’t want to mess with their heads and I don’t want them to be unhappy. Maybe I’m toxic. But growing up, my brother was a real player and I refused to be some clingy girl who relied on the opposite sex only to be lied to, cheated on or disrespected, like many of his girlfriends.

Tell me I have a good head on my shoulders, that I have absolutely no obligation to be in a relationship and that I’m “doin’ good, kid.” Or… tell me I’m a bitch, and I should start looking for a house on a hill capable of housing many cats. You know, set me straight.

Thanks,
Casual-Cathy

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So I’m sure by now you’re all completely over the whole royal wedding thing.You’re tired of the wedding plans and the photos and the guest lists and the entire country of England. I get it. But I’m going to bring it up one last time because I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this one concept.

According to Jezebel the prince and his blushing bride will be inviting six of their exes to the wedding. ( 2 of hers. 4 of his). And apparently there’s some sort of etiquette behind this that requires them to do so. But I mean, come on. I know they’re royalty and all and they don’t have much of a choice, but is this something the rest of us are going to have to do as well? I hope not. Because I definitely won’t be inviting my exes anywhere. I don’t even want to see them at the coffee shop never mind at the rehearsal dinner…

This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing  at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list.

Do remove your ex from your Facebook feed. Seeing his obnoxious statuses about babes and beer everyday is not going to help you get over him. The more he pops up on your newsfeed the more you’ll want to head over to his page and stalk him read through his wall. Avoid the temptation and hide him!

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So we all know that lately pop culture has been a little bit obsessed with vampires. True Blood. Twilight. The Vampire Diaries. It’s everywhere we look and a part of everything we do. But we’re not just obsessed with vampires. We’re obsessed with vampire boyfriends. Edward Cullen in particular. An as someone who spends way too much time in the fictional world I have to step back, and ask…really? I mean come on!

Edward Cullen is not the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s obsessive, overbearing, and would find great satisfaction in tearing open his girlfriend’s veins and drinking her blood. This is the guy that makes you swoon? Well not me. He’s not my idea of the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s not even close. Who is, you ask? Well I’ve compiled a list to answer just that question (and put off any of the more important tasks I have yet to accomplish today). Below are my top ten fictional boyfriends, all of whom are real flesh and blood, albeit fictional, men that don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

10. Mike Chang. You know, Tina’s boyfriend from Glee. Not only is he a football player but he has swoon worthy dance moves and even swoon worthier abs.

9. Flynn Rider. The last Disney prince. The one from Tangled. Yes I’ve seen Tangled. What’ is it to you? A little sarcastic, a little funny, and very much the reluctant hero. He’s definitely not as boring as the Disney princes before him and so for that reason alone he makes the list.

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College introduced me to my best friends (who ended up not being my best friends senior year, but oh well), girls that compulsively wore Uggs and North Face jackets to class, stereotypes unknown in high school (hello frat boys), frenemes, coffee buddies, and classroom peers, and a few boys I wish I never met. Being in a university setting provides students with an ongoing fodder of new people – all from different walks of life. And through these chance meetings, you will meet someone (or many ones) that will truly impact your life.

I certainly did. Looking back on the last four years of my life, a lot of specific friends stick with me, along with a few classes and certain professors. However, one person truly means the most to me and that is my boyfriend of over two years. We met our first year of college (and couldn’t stand each other…), but near the end of our sophomore year, we both realized something was there. From that point on, we were inseparable.

Until now. Now, we’re in a long distance relationship (me in California, him in St. Louis, MO). I never thought I would be one of those long distance kinda girls, but with him, I’d rather be in a long distance relationship than to not have him in my life. Not only is he my best friend, but he truly is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. But I’m not going to lie – it’s hard going from being so close to each other to being so far apart (we’re nearly two thousand miles away from each other).

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Labor Day weekend has come and gone, and what’s left of your tan is probably beginning to fade. Add that to the fact that the first week of classes (When you don’t actually have to do anything but collect syllabuses and catch up with friends.)  has been replaced by actual classes, and you’re probably pulling a Danny Zuko and wishing longingly for summer nights.

But autumn isn’t all bad, and here’s why.

1. The Weather. Here on the east coast, we broke records with the sweltering summer heat. And I’m not going to lie; I took full advantage of that warm weather. But sitting in class in weather that’s meant for the beach? Like I’d ever be able to pay attention. I’m eternally grateful that the temperatures dropped just as I’m forced to hit the books. Plus, it gives you an excuse to buy that cute fall jacket you’ve been eying since July.

2. The Pumpkin Spice Lattes. They’re back. Yesterday’s trip to my friendly neighborhood Starbucks confirmed as much. Starbucks has also introduced the Toffee Mocha, along with the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin and the Pumpkin Scone. Its fall food at its best. But if you’re not quite as caffeine crazed  as I am, you could always try an old standby. Caramel Corn. Pumpkin Pie. Apple Pie. Caramel Apples. Apple Cider. Take your pick.

3. The New TV. I love a good reality TV meltdown as much as the next girl, but by the time August rolls around I’m ready for some good old fashion scripted drama. From Glee to Gossip Girl, your old favorites are returning. Don’t you want to watch the new cast of Dancing with the Stars make complete and total fools of themselves? Or find out if Derek actually recovers from the Seattle Grace shooting? Your wait is almost over. Read More »

What is one thing you know you can you count on at 9:00 AM on Monday mornings? Other than an unsweetened venti iced coffee with a splash of skim milk practically attached to your lips to keep you functioning? That’s right kids, the infamous Weekly Ten.

I’m long overdue for a more light-hearted list, since last week’s Weekly Ten caused a bit of a controversy to say the very least. So I’ve decided to focus whatever minuscule amount of energy I have leftover from my intense ski weekend in Vermont on sharing with you why I really, really adore my boyfriend. Who, by the way, came up with last week’s topic for the Weekly Ten so please divert your hate mail to him. Appreciated.

10. He’s learned the magic rule: Cupcakes fix everything.
No matter what, I can always count on him to cheer me up with a red velvet cupcake if I’m down. He even brought it to a whole new level by sprinkling cheerios on top of a cupcake for Valentine’s Day. Sounds gross unless you are me and if given the option, would only consume dry cheerios until the end of time.

9. Not a video gamer.
Okay, so I admit I am sort of a sucker for Guitar Hero and Mario Kart. However, I can’t stand it when guys devote 99% of their free time to ridiculous video games. Seriously, Call of Duty? Seriously? Granted, it is a little embarrassing when I beat him in Super Smash Bros. but pretty much only embarrassing for him. Read More »

“What happened last night?”

Ahh, the blackout. These words have become oh-so-familiar over the past two years I’ve spent at this fine university. Sunday mornings – Gatorade and a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich in hand – I sit in my living room with my roommates, attempting to piece together the events from the night before. Looking through pictures, decoding unintelligible text messages sent to the cute guy from Calculus, my friend apologizing for puking on my shoes or stealing my pizza before I had a chance to get the door.

I can’t be mad at them though, or even blame them. Sometimes the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol takes over and there is no turning back. They are no longer the same person and are going to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Like the infamous girl-on-girl makeout sesh which is now plastered all over Facebook.

But like they taught you in elementary school, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And recently, that person was me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two vomit-includingly cute years. We moved in together in August to a new apartment where he makes me dinner after a long night at work, and we’ve even talked marriage.

We were the stereotypical happy couple until about two weeks ago during a blackout sorta night.

All of my friends were finally back in town before this spring (spring? There’s two feet of snow outside) semester started, so naturally we had to celebrate get wasted. After a long night of cheap vodka and too many shots at the bar, we went back to my friend’s apartment for afties. Just another successful night.

That is, until I realized that my boyfriend was missing and I had no idea where he was. I started roaming around the apartment. I looked in the kitchen, then the bathroom. Nothing. Finally, I peeked my head into my friend’s bedroom and there he was. Naked. On top of a girl. Who was also naked. Read More »

See ya later, Single Status!

It’s weird how it happens. One day you’re screaming “THIS IS MY SONG!” every time “Single Ladies” comes on at the bar, and the next…well, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s not actually true. After just over two years of being the most single person on the planet, I actually took the dive. It happened really unexpectedly with a cute acquaintance I have known for years. We started talking a little more, and things took off out of nowhere.

I used to want to jack people in the face when they said, “When you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get one.” And even though that is exactly what happened, that’s still really annoying advice. I think I hate it largely because it takes the situation out of your hands; as if you have to be in some sort of cosmic state of perfect personal balance just to get a damn date. I think a better way to phrase the advice is this:

Beating yourself up over not having a boyfriend or becoming depressed that “there’s no one out there” isn’t going to make your perfect mate appear out of thin are. There are times when 5 guys ask you out in a week, and there are times when your only male interaction for months is with your Environmental Science professor (hopefully not the wrong kind of interaction…). You can control your love life, but only to a certain extent. You don’t completely control who you meet, when you meet them, or (even as much as we try) how they feel about you. Read More »

I’m a senior in college, single, loving it, and have just as many girlfriends as random sexual escapades (almost). So maybe I’m not having as much consistent sex as I’d like, but I am still getting my fill of lovin.

I am absolutely in love with my girlfriends.

I feel more fulfilled from my friend relationships than I’ve ever had from boyfriends. Maybe that’s not saying too much about my ex’s, but the power of the female friendship amazes me, especially in college.

In high school, I used to be a boyfriend-girl (you know the type). Although I tried to split time between the BF and the BFFs, I definitely ended up sacrificing girl time for the boyfriend. But now, after staying single in college, I never have to make the sacrifice of feeling lonely just because I don’t have a boyfriend. I actually feel more loved, supported, and celebrated through my friends. Read More »