Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m a college sophomore girl and I seem to have a major problem with boys — I am CLUELESS when it comes to them! I just got out of a short relationship (actually my first one) and what it made me realize was I gravitate toward guys who express their interest in me FIRST because I feel unworthy of the guys that I have a crush on (like they’re too good for me or something along that line). Now, I have my eye on a new guy right now, but these questions are mainly for any guy I’m interested in, in the future. But as for this guy, I’ve gotten his number and we’ve talked a few times, one of those times being with my roommate and his roommate, and the talks were all pretty short and “meaningless.” Now first of all, if I just simply want to get to know a guy better, how much is too much as far as texting goes and how much should I go up to his room to talk to him (we’re in the same dorm)? I’m really focused on just getting to know him better before I start to dive into something, if it’s there. BUT when/if I do get to the flirting part, HOW DO I DO THAT? How much is too much?

Sincerely,

Boy-Inept

Dear Boy-Inept,

Honey, I’m gonna be honest with you: I think you’re just chicken. Texting?! OMG. How NOT effective can you be. No! Girl!!! Go to his room once. Ask him if he wants to grab coffee. And THAT’S how it’s done. Confident. Cool. Fun. THAT’S what guys like. And you can so be those things. It’s all about working up the courage. Anyone can do it. So listen up, the rest of youse:

(1) Decide on a day and time you will make your (very casual) move.
(2) An hour before you do it, have a dance party by yourself. Put on your favorite music and dance that shoop out.
(3) A half hour before, get dressed and spray yourself with perfume. No changing.
(4) Five minutes before, look yourself in the eye in a big mirror and say eight times out loud: “I am awesome.”
(5) Go say hi to him and ask him if he wants to grab coffee.

Wow. So easy. You can totally do this.

Because, like, what’s coffee?! Chances are, he wants to hang out with you ANYWAY. But no matter what, it’s a totally tiny commitment. And once you have coffee with him, you’ll know if you’re even interested in trying again. It’s so win-win I could vom.

I’m rooting for you, girl.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve never wanted a relationship. I mean, I’m 19 years old, why should I? Now, dating, that’s where it’s at. But I keep finding myself in sticky situations. I’ll be seeing a guy and he’ll bring up the “exclusive” conversation when, wait a second, weren’t we diggin’ this whole casual thing two dates ago? What changed?

I guess my problem is that I’m always the bad guy. I don’t intend to hurt anyone and I make sure I’m communicating that I don’t want a boyfriend right now. I don’t want to mess with their heads and I don’t want them to be unhappy. Maybe I’m toxic. But growing up, my brother was a real player and I refused to be some clingy girl who relied on the opposite sex only to be lied to, cheated on or disrespected, like many of his girlfriends.

Tell me I have a good head on my shoulders, that I have absolutely no obligation to be in a relationship and that I’m “doin’ good, kid.” Or… tell me I’m a bitch, and I should start looking for a house on a hill capable of housing many cats. You know, set me straight.

Thanks,
Casual-Cathy

Dear Casual-Cathy,

Ah, you’ve discovered the secret: guys love it when we play hard to get.

See?! SEE?! It’s true!!! Peeps be saying, ‘Hey you should sleep with him and he’ll want a relationship’; and I be saying, ‘No way, girl – you want him to stick around you play hard to get!”

Well, okay. I don’t say that EXACTLY. But, I mean, the idea is there: Guys hate it when girls are clingy, and they react when girls give them the cold shoulder. HOWEVER! That is because guys, like girls, LIKE PEOPLE, get insecure. Like, super easy. Especially when it comes to dating.

You see, C-C (may I call you C-C?), what happens is it goes like this:

C-C: Yeah, let’s just be casual.

GUY: But–but–don’t the stereotypes go that girls always want to be in a relationship?!

C-C: Mmmmnnnnyeah, I don’t think so. Let’s just date.

GUY: WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!

C-C: Um, I gotta go–

GUY: LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME!!!!!!!

Right. So, like, you don’t want that.

Girl, look. You are absolutely right: You should NOT be dependent on some guy. And you should only get into a relationship when YOU want to, because YOU actually LIKE the guy. And, for the record, you are SO NOT the bad guy. You’re being totally honest with them. And that’s very cool.

However, it does concern Aunt Tuffy that you NEVER want to be in a relationship. I wonder if maybe you’re acting tough and shoop to protect yourself (damn you, older bro!!) and you’re not letting yourself  be juuuuust vulnerable enough to actually get to know someone who might actually make you happy.

So, honey, here’s what I think. You should date, date, date to your heart’s content (ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!!! CONDOMS EVERY TIME, FOR EVERY KIND OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY!!!). But you should leave yourself open. If you find yourself getting really interested in a guy, and then he asks about being exclusive–well, stay open to saying okay.

Exclusivity is not permanent, you know. It’s not like he’s your boyfriend and OMG THAT’S THE END. You can always, you know, break up. So NOT a big deal.

Love is good, m’kay?! So don’t just write every single guy off who likes you just because you’re afraid of getting hurt.

But, I mean, I hear the price of cat food is going down. So that’s cool.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Get more Tough Love right here. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

According to Jezebel the prince and his blushing bride will be inviting six of their exes to the wedding. ( 2 of hers. 4 of his). And apparently there’s some sort of etiquette behind this that requires them to do so. But I mean, come on. I know they’re royalty and all and they don’t have much of a choice, but is this something the rest of us are going to have to do as well? I hope not. Because I definitely won’t be inviting my exes anywhere. I don’t even want to see them at the coffee shop never mind at the rehearsal dinner…

This train of thought of course, got me thinking about my own ex encounters, which had me cringing and triumphing  at each one in turn.  And this of course had me thinking about the dos and don’ts of ex-boyfriends, and that, of course, is how you wound up with this list.

Do remove your ex from your Facebook feed. Seeing his obnoxious statuses about babes and beer everyday is not going to help you get over him. The more he pops up on your newsfeed the more you’ll want to head over to his page and stalk him read through his wall. Avoid the temptation and hide him!

Don’t remove your ex from your Facebook friends. Hiding him is one thing, but deleting him is something else entirely, and it’s a big no-no. Not only because to him it means you cared enough to be mad enough to delete him, but also because as much as you don’t want to know what’s  going on with him, you’ll want the option to be there. Trust me on this one.

Do give him a coy smile and a quick hello if you see him out and about. Seeing the ex again is inevitable, especially on a college campus where everyone goes to all of the same bars and all of the same events. So don’t avoid him or pretend like you don’t see him. Just smile politely, exchange pleasantries. And then move along.

Don’t stay and chat. The longer you hang around with him, the greater your chances will be of saying something you probably shouldn’t or hearing something you probably don’t want to hear. You two broke up. Parted ways. Don’t stay and endure the awkward conversation for whatever reason you’ve come up with.

Do introduce him to your date. If you’re there with another guy, introduce him to said guy. It would be odd if you didn’t. Names are fine. No need for labels on either end.

Don’t brag about said date. Telling your ex how fab your new beau is may seem like a brilliant idea at the time, and a great way to make him jealous but it may do more time than good. I mean you can always tell when someone’s laying it on, can’t you?  That person definitely looks like she’s trying too hard, doesn’t she?

Do remember you broke up for a reason. When enduring post breakup encounters for the first time it’s easy to be hit with that rush of old feelings. You remember how cute he is or how he makes you laugh and how much fun you have and suddenly you’re heading down memory lane, no matter who did the breaking up. But remember you did break up. For a reason.

Don’t get reeled back in. I repeat, you broke up for a reason. And I’m sure it was difficult, whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, but ignoring those reasons and  jumping back into something too quickly doesn’t solve those problems. It just hides them. So keep that in mind during your ex encounters.

What about you ladies? Have any breakup dos and don’ts? Or better yet any breakup horror stories we can oh and ah about use to learn from past mistakes?

So we all know that lately pop culture has been a little bit obsessed with vampires. True Blood. Twilight. The Vampire Diaries. It’s everywhere we look and a part of everything we do. But we’re not just obsessed with vampires. We’re obsessed with vampire boyfriends. Edward Cullen in particular. An as someone who spends way too much time in the fictional world I have to step back, and ask…really? I mean come on!

Edward Cullen is not the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s obsessive, overbearing, and would find great satisfaction in tearing open his girlfriend’s veins and drinking her blood. This is the guy that makes you swoon? Well not me. He’s not my idea of the best fictional boyfriend out there. He’s not even close. Who is, you ask? Well I’ve compiled a list to answer just that question (and put off any of the more important tasks I have yet to accomplish today). Below are my top ten fictional boyfriends, all of whom are real flesh and blood, albeit fictional, men that don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

10. Mike Chang. You know, Tina’s boyfriend from Glee. Not only is he a football player but he has swoon worthy dance moves and even swoon worthier abs.

9. Flynn Rider. The last Disney prince. The one from Tangled. Yes I’ve seen Tangled. What’ is it to you? A little sarcastic, a little funny, and very much the reluctant hero. He’s definitely not as boring as the Disney princes before him and so for that reason alone he makes the list.

8. Nathaniel Archibald. Okay, so I don’t have any legitimate reasons for this one seeing as how he’s a manwhore both literally and figuratively, he’s cheated on almost all of his girlfriends, and he’s hooked up with every female regular besides Lily van der Woodsen (as far as we know), but… he’s so pretty!

7. Seth Cohen. Yes, the geeky guy from the O.C. made it onto the list, mostly because I’ve always had the biggest crush on Adam Brody, but also because that upside down, in the rain, Spiderman kiss that he and Summer share is one of my favorite TV kisses of all time.

6. Cappie. Casey’s on again off again boyfriend from Greek is a favorite of mine. Yes, he’s childish and has a bit of a Peter Pan complex but he’s also a genuinely nice guy. And when Casey asked him where he wanted to be in ten years he said “I want to be with you.” Sigh.  If only.

5. Chandler Bing. The class clown. The commitment-phobe. The one everyone thought was gay. Okay, so that’s all true. But he’s also the guy who overcame all of that and fell in love with his best friend. Plus, he looks really cute with glasses, don’t you think?

4. Aiden Shaw. I was a Carrie and Mr. Big fan. I always have been and I always will be. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate just how awesome of a boyfriend Aiden really was. He forgave Carrie for cheating on him, redid her apartment, and his voice had this sort of twang to it that just makes me want to watch him speak. Shirtless.

3. Dan Humphrey. Serena van der Woodsen’s loyal Brooklyn boyfriend. Dan gets a bit of a bad rep with the Upper East Siders but personally I think he’s a great guy. Cute. Smart. Funny. And he has that whole tortured artist thing down perfectly. What’s a girl gotta do be his muse?

2. Alex Karev. This poor guy has yet to have a relationship that doesn’t end in his girlfriend going crazy, dying, or moving across the country, and I think that’s terrible because Alex deserves better. He’s a good guy, deep, deep, deep down, who will always be therefore his girl when she needs him. Give him a lasting love interest, Shonda Rhimes.

1. Pacey Witter. Yes, the sidekick from Dawson’s Creek is taking the top spot and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. Maybe it’s the swooning pre-teen in me but when I think of my favorite fictional boyfriend, I think of Pacey Witter. With Joey, Andie, or even that other chick he dates in the later episodes when he can’t have Joey, Pacey Witter was a great boyfriend. In my eyes this boy can do no wrong. And plus, you know, he’s adorable.

In case you couldn’t tell based on this list I have a type. It’s called tall, dark, and a little bit dorky and/or dangerous. So if you know anyone that fits the bill, send him my way, okay?

Who are your dream fictional boyfs?

College introduced me to my best friends (who ended up not being my best friends senior year, but oh well), girls that compulsively wore Uggs and North Face jackets to class, stereotypes unknown in high school (hello frat boys), frenemes, coffee buddies, and classroom peers, and a few boys I wish I never met. Being in a university setting provides students with an ongoing fodder of new people – all from different walks of life. And through these chance meetings, you will meet someone (or many ones) that will truly impact your life.

I certainly did. Looking back on the last four years of my life, a lot of specific friends stick with me, along with a few classes and certain professors. However, one person truly means the most to me and that is my boyfriend of over two years. We met our first year of college (and couldn’t stand each other…), but near the end of our sophomore year, we both realized something was there. From that point on, we were inseparable.

Until now. Now, we’re in a long distance relationship (me in California, him in St. Louis, MO). I never thought I would be one of those long distance kinda girls, but with him, I’d rather be in a long distance relationship than to not have him in my life. Not only is he my best friend, but he truly is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. But I’m not going to lie – it’s hard going from being so close to each other to being so far apart (we’re nearly two thousand miles away from each other).

While I’m happy to be able to talk to him on the phone and on Skype (and to visit him as much as I can), I realize how special that time in college was. It was so much easier back then. And that goes across the board with all kinds of relationships whether they are romantic or not. I know I’m not the only one struggling with this. College couples are dispersed across the United States, along with college best friends, roommates, and party buddies. I read the status updates all the time ,“Wishing I was in Denver with my boyfriend,” and Twitter updates, “Drinking …wish my college girls were with me.” All of those college relationships that become so much a piece of us are for the most part changed upon graduation. We all throw our cap and gowns, and then it’s like “bye” – sometimes forever.

And I think this is just one of those things that makes being a new post-grad all the more difficult. We’re moving on from college, and in this most difficult transition the people who mean the most to us aren’t here with us. And we need them. So, not only are we adjusting to not having those special people around us, but we are adjusting to everything else – on our own. Sometimes it feels lonely and scary, and sometimes it feels bittersweet. Regardless though, it never makes you stop missing the people you spent the last four years or so with.

I know I’m not the only one feeling this loss so, I’m wondering … how are you keeping in touch with your boyfriends (or maybe even your ex-boyfriends), your best friends, your sorority sisters, your lab partner from sophomore year, and anyone else that means the world to you? What are you doing to make it work? To feel a little more connected?

But autumn isn’t all bad, and here’s why.

1. The Weather. Here on the east coast, we broke records with the sweltering summer heat. And I’m not going to lie; I took full advantage of that warm weather. But sitting in class in weather that’s meant for the beach? Like I’d ever be able to pay attention. I’m eternally grateful that the temperatures dropped just as I’m forced to hit the books. Plus, it gives you an excuse to buy that cute fall jacket you’ve been eying since July.

2. The Pumpkin Spice Lattes. They’re back. Yesterday’s trip to my friendly neighborhood Starbucks confirmed as much. Starbucks has also introduced the Toffee Mocha, along with the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin and the Pumpkin Scone. Its fall food at its best. But if you’re not quite as caffeine crazed  as I am, you could always try an old standby. Caramel Corn. Pumpkin Pie. Apple Pie. Caramel Apples. Apple Cider. Take your pick.

3. The New TV. I love a good reality TV meltdown as much as the next girl, but by the time August rolls around I’m ready for some good old fashion scripted drama. From Glee to Gossip Girl, your old favorites are returning. Don’t you want to watch the new cast of Dancing with the Stars make complete and total fools of themselves? Or find out if Derek actually recovers from the Seattle Grace shooting? Your wait is almost over.

4. The Leaves. On an entirely superficial note, autumn is a pretty season. The leaves change colors, from green to orange and red, yellow and brown, the perfect autumn color palate. So maybe they’re annoying to rake, but they’re great to look at, and provide excellent cushioning if you feel like taking a dive into a pile. You know you want to.

5. The Fashion. The boots. The bags. The boyfriend sweaters. That perfect fall weather? It’s perfect for all your favorite fall accessories. Jean Jackets. Knit Hats. Scarves of every fabric and color combination you could imagine. Fashion Week is in September for a reason. Make the most of it.

6. The Football. Whether you’re a diehard fan or just in it for the tailgating every college student has to attend at least one football game a year. The face paint. The school colors. The goofy mascot. The matching Homecoming 2010 t-shirts with the ridiculous slogans across the back. And, oh yeah, the actual sport.

7. The Holiday Season. It starts with Fall Break, and although Columbus Day isn’t a holiday that people really celebrate, it’s still the perfect excuse to cancel classes. From there it’s only a few weeks until Halloween, which is so a holiday. Or the holiday.. Then it’s about a month to Thanksgiving, and by then the Christmas commercials have already started. So really, if you think about it like that, you might as well call Labor Day weekend the start of the holiday season.

8. The Activities. Apple picking. Pumpkin picking. Football games. Corn mazes. Fall festivals. Outdoor concerts. Hayrides. Fall is the perfect time to embrace your inner five-year-old. Just make sure you don’t accidentally encounter a patch of poison ivy when reaching for that apple way up at the top of the tree.

9. The Perfect Excuse for Snuggling. Remember that fall weather I mentioned? And all those fun fall activities? What better way to end a day of pumpkin picking than to curl up on the couch with your guy. Wrap yourselves up in a warm wool blanket, grab a few cups of hot cocoa and unwind. Still feeling chilly? I can think of a few very ways to warm up….

10. The New Start. Most people make their yearly resolutions in January, but September is just as good a time to start fresh, if not better. For us college girls, the fall is the start of a new year. Don’t turn in any assignments late. No sweatpants in class. Invest in a planner. Use it. Start making the changes now, and if they don’t stick, you can try again in January.

I’m long overdue for a more light-hearted list, since last week’s Weekly Ten caused a bit of a controversy to say the very least. So I’ve decided to focus whatever minuscule amount of energy I have leftover from my intense ski weekend in Vermont on sharing with you why I really, really adore my boyfriend. Who, by the way, came up with last week’s topic for the Weekly Ten so please divert your hate mail to him. Appreciated.

10. He’s learned the magic rule: Cupcakes fix everything.
No matter what, I can always count on him to cheer me up with a red velvet cupcake if I’m down. He even brought it to a whole new level by sprinkling cheerios on top of a cupcake for Valentine’s Day. Sounds gross unless you are me and if given the option, would only consume dry cheerios until the end of time.

9. Not a video gamer.
Okay, so I admit I am sort of a sucker for Guitar Hero and Mario Kart. However, I can’t stand it when guys devote 99% of their free time to ridiculous video games. Seriously, Call of Duty? Seriously? Granted, it is a little embarrassing when I beat him in Super Smash Bros. but pretty much only embarrassing for him.

8. He’s down to try it all.
Before we started dating he’d never had guacamole, been skiing or been to a kick-ass New England brewery. I lucked out with a guy who’s totally willing to break out of his comfort zone and try anything new out. Even if it ends in disaster. Especially if it involves Victoria’s Secret whipped body creme. I don’t want to get into it.

7. Gets along with the fam
This is a biggie! It’s never easy to find someone who blends seamlessly into your dysfunctionally adorable fam (just me?), but my guy totally hit it off with every member of my crazy family. In fact, I’m almost sure my mom would adopt Mike and give me up if given the opportunity.

6. Hardest-working, ever.
So we might turn this one into a competition sometimes. And by sometimes, I do mean constantly. I’m working 55 hours? He’s working a 55 hour MINIMUM for the month. I’m studying for my undergrad midterms? He’s got the final (AND HARDEST) test of his CPA next week. I worked on a Saturday? He’s working for all the Saturdays for the rest of time. This might not exactly be the most healthy or cool competition, but I have to love how ambitious he is. Even if I am totally winning the contest. Hello? Three jobs and still a junior in college? I totally win.

5. Dr. Boyfriend
Sick in bed? Totally can count on him to bring me over chicken noodle soup and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Amazing.

4. Awesome friends
Since I only moved to NYC last summer and left most of my friends back home and in Boston, my social life has diminished substantially. Luckily, le boy has an amazing set of friends who aren’t d-bags and welcomed me with hugs, dance parties, shots… you know, all the things you want in a social circle.

3. Completely 100% there for me
This is a tough one to find in a person. I’ve definitely run through my fair share of sheisty dudes. Who hasn’t? The boyfriend has proved to me that there are guys out there who you can trust, who won’t screw you over and who will love you even if you shrink all his work shirts in the dryer.

2. Treats me like a princess
As Oscar Wilde once said, “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?” Okay, so obviously I’m not expecting him to wait on me hand and foot while I take bubble baths and eat truffles while wearing a tiara (except that actually sounds amazing and I may propose this idea for my birthday), but my guy definitely goes the extra mile for me. From cute dates to “just because” presents, he definitely lets me know that I’m special. Even if he does tease me for having super stinky feet, especially after I’m wearing my cute gold flats.

1. Unlike most CC readers (and now some writers… and occasionally the lovely editor when I’m late with an article) he actually loves and puts up with me.
Except for when I watch “Real Housewives of Orange County.” But I totally get that.

Ahh, the blackout. These words have become oh-so-familiar over the past two years I’ve spent at this fine university. Sunday mornings – Gatorade and a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich in hand – I sit in my living room with my roommates, attempting to piece together the events from the night before. Looking through pictures, decoding unintelligible text messages sent to the cute guy from Calculus, my friend apologizing for puking on my shoes or stealing my pizza before I had a chance to get the door.

I can’t be mad at them though, or even blame them. Sometimes the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol takes over and there is no turning back. They are no longer the same person and are going to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Like the infamous girl-on-girl makeout sesh which is now plastered all over Facebook.

But like they taught you in elementary school, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And recently, that person was me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two vomit-includingly cute years. We moved in together in August to a new apartment where he makes me dinner after a long night at work, and we’ve even talked marriage.

We were the stereotypical happy couple until about two weeks ago during a blackout sorta night.

All of my friends were finally back in town before this spring (spring? There’s two feet of snow outside) semester started, so naturally we had to celebrate get wasted. After a long night of cheap vodka and too many shots at the bar, we went back to my friend’s apartment for afties. Just another successful night.

That is, until I realized that my boyfriend was missing and I had no idea where he was. I started roaming around the apartment. I looked in the kitchen, then the bathroom. Nothing. Finally, I peeked my head into my friend’s bedroom and there he was. Naked. On top of a girl. Who was also naked.

Naturally, I flipped the eff out. I screamed, I stormed over to the bed and pulled him off of her. I stared at him, anger bubbling up inside of me; his eyes were glazed, he was falling over, and he had no idea where he was. My boyfriend was beyond blacked out.

The rest of the night got a little hazy. I went crazy, taking justice into my own hands. Literally. The next thing I knew, I was handcuffed in the back of a cop car, blowing a .34 BAC (classy, I know) and being charged with domestic assault (apparently some neighbors called the cops to file a noise complaint). Not my finest moment. After I got out and was able to talk to my boyfriend again (sans fists), I demanded answers. But got nothing. He was blacked out the entire time; he didn’t remember being at the bar, going back to the apartment, or even how he ended up with a black eye and a fat lip. (Yeah, I totally JWowwed his ass. I was angry!)

And this fact alone has left me completely torn and unable to eat or sleep. My boyfriend betrayed my trust and really broke my heart. He sent me into a fit of rage I’ve never known before and made a fool out of me.

But can I really blame him for something that happened when he was blackout drunk?
Something that he doesn’t even remember doing?
Can that even be considered cheating?
Do I forgive him?

I honestly don’t know what to think.

The thing about this situation is that everything is not black and white. It would have been so much easier to just dump him and walk away if he was going behind my back on purpose. But he wasn’t. And while nothing technically happened (they didn’t have sex), it scares the shiz out of me to think what would have happened if I hadn’t walked in. It disgusts me to think about my boyfriend being with someone else, or what he was saying to her while they were in bed, or how he ended up there in the first place.

I definitely blame my boyfriend for getting that drunk. Mostly because he always gets that drunk. I blame him for putting himself in that situation and for putting me in that situation. But I still don’t know if I can blame him for what he actually did. I can’t hold him more responsible for his actions than my friend who pukes on my shoes, or the friend who always steals my food when she comes home from the bar drunk. I know neither of them would intentionally hurt me when they’re sober, so is this really different?  I’ve never gotten into a fight with my boyfriend, let alone had to deal with something like this. Until this incident, I never had a reason not to trust him.

Is this a good enough reason?

I understand that to many of you this seems like such a simple answer, but I’m seriously stuck. I love my boyfriend and we have so much history. I honestly don’t know what to do. What do you think? Can blackout mistakes be forgiven?

See ya later, Single Status!

It’s weird how it happens. One day you’re screaming “THIS IS MY SONG!” every time “Single Ladies” comes on at the bar, and the next…well, you’re doing the same thing, but it’s not actually true. After just over two years of being the most single person on the planet, I actually took the dive. It happened really unexpectedly with a cute acquaintance I have known for years. We started talking a little more, and things took off out of nowhere.

I used to want to jack people in the face when they said, “When you stop looking for a boyfriend, you’ll get one.” And even though that is exactly what happened, that’s still really annoying advice. I think I hate it largely because it takes the situation out of your hands; as if you have to be in some sort of cosmic state of perfect personal balance just to get a damn date. I think a better way to phrase the advice is this:

Beating yourself up over not having a boyfriend or becoming depressed that “there’s no one out there” isn’t going to make your perfect mate appear out of thin are. There are times when 5 guys ask you out in a week, and there are times when your only male interaction for months is with your Environmental Science professor (hopefully not the wrong kind of interaction…). You can control your love life, but only to a certain extent. You don’t completely control who you meet, when you meet them, or (even as much as we try) how they feel about you.

I think what these crappy advice givers mean to say is if you can be happy without a boyfriend, you won’t turn your love life into the biggest stress-sesh since applying to grad school. Hello, school is pressure, work is pressure, your parents are pressure…dating shouldn’t be. It’s not going into your GPA, so live a little. There are perks to being single, and there are perks to being coupled, so exploit what you have. Learning to enjoy your status no matter what it may be is the biggest breakthrough for women since the water bra; both help you work with what you’ve got.

While I do really dig my guy, I’m going to admit it: I already miss being single. My single friends glare at me when I say this, but I mean it. Look, just one week after finally taking the plunge into exclusivity, I met a super hot grad student from NYU while I was out (I’m pretty sure the relationship Gods were testing me). I couldn’t give him my number. It was more traumatizing for me than when my first goldfish died. So the next time you’re blubbering about flying solo, just remember; you get to mack on anyone and everyone, and you don’t have to shave your legs everyday. Love the perks while you can!

[Since Dannia went and got herself a man, we're lookin' for a new Single Lady. If you know someone who's living up the single life, have her send an email to editor@collegecandy.com. We want to share her experiences with the world.]

I’m a senior in college, single, loving it, and have just as many girlfriends as random sexual escapades (almost). So maybe I’m not having as much consistent sex as I’d like, but I am still getting my fill of lovin.

I am absolutely in love with my girlfriends.

I feel more fulfilled from my friend relationships than I’ve ever had from boyfriends. Maybe that’s not saying too much about my ex’s, but the power of the female friendship amazes me, especially in college.

In high school, I used to be a boyfriend-girl (you know the type). Although I tried to split time between the BF and the BFFs, I definitely ended up sacrificing girl time for the boyfriend. But now, after staying single in college, I never have to make the sacrifice of feeling lonely just because I don’t have a boyfriend. I actually feel more loved, supported, and celebrated through my friends.

I always have someone to laugh with, cry with, and get bagels at 10 in the morning when I’m hungover with. My girlfriends are the perfect boyfriend that doesn’t exist.

Being a single, senior with my chicas is exactly how I want to spend my last year in college.

Besides, who wants to be tied down with a boyfriend for their senior year? Not me, that’s who. I’d rather drink with my girlfriends, hang out with some hotties, and have my nice full bed (and comforter)  all to myself.