Is it safe to say most of us saw 500 Days of Summer? That self-indulgent, why-am-I-even-watching-this?, aww-he’s-so-whipped, just-love-him-already!, omg-she’s-such-a-bitch masterpiece? Yeah, well, then you’re well aware that Zooey “I’m just wearing this tiaria” Deschanel and JGL are pretty much the reigning queen and king of hipsterdom.

Think about it. If Brad and Ange — with their multicultural brood, gorgeous looks and endless swagger — are the regular person’s be all and end all of fabulosity, then Zooey and Joseph (Zoeseph?) are the emo kid’s equivalent. The whiney voices, the thrift store grandma sweaters, the depressed sighs…

And just when you thought your holiday season couldn’t get any cheerier, here are our two favorite people with a very enthusiastic, very upbeat question for you.

Maybe it’s because I’m done with finals and I have nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s because all of my favorite TV shows are going on hiatus. Maybe it’s because I zoomed through my blogs too quickly this week, but I have to say, I’ve come to a sad realization.

Celebrity scandal is dead.

Think about it. There has been absolutely nothing of interest going on in the world of celebs these past few weeks. Why is Hollywood so quiet? Even Charlie Sheen has been MIA.  Has it finally happened? Has Hollywood finally imploded? Has the well gone dry? Have they run out of stupid things to do? For my sanity, I hope not. Celebs, I beg of you, please continue to entertain me with stories of your crazy.

Please?

Sigh.

Maye a little inspiration will help. Let’s remember some of the greatest celebrity scandals of our time.

Okay, so I don’t know if you ladies have heard the news, but apparently Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are actually dating, which really just makes my skin crawl. I mean the girl is legitimately half his age. It’s weird and it’s creepy. And since I am forever grateful that Scarlett let go of Ryan Reynolds so we could some day find each other and be together, I felt it my duty to at least point that out.

But in the process, their creepy crawly relationship got me thinking about all of the other creepy celebrity couples I’ve encountered over the years. And, well, there were actually quite a few of them. Ugh, my stomach is churning.

These days in Hollywood, the children of celebrities are often overlooked. They’re more like the perfect accessory to an already awesome outfit than actual people. They’re like that great new designer everyone is wearing, but one that won’t ever go out of style. So we forget sometimes that these kids are actual people with actual lives. And the celebrities we fawn over are actually their parents. Like, their real parents. Just like ours…

Or not.

And well, we can’t help but think that for some of them, that must really, really suck. But for others, they’re living the life we dream about as we lay in bed late at night (after our Jake Gyllenhaal/Mark Salling threesome fantasy ends). So we did some research, some analyzing, figured out the networth pros and cons of each of these celebrity parents and so we propose to you the celebrities we’d love to have play parent to us…and those we wouldn’t even want as distant relatives.

George Clooney’s ideal weekend

One- minute version of Lion King

Really hope this isn’t true

7 Reasons to turn off your phone

Stephanie Tanner chats about her new baby

How to enjoy it when he goes down

A few alternate jewelery uses

Someone looks COMPLETELY different

Get to know the new morning-after pill.

Brangelina – fashion designers?

Watch out boys. Jen and Chelsea are on the prowl.

Target teams up with Gilt?!

Your guide to wearing a crop top. Learn it.

OK, that’s enough, Ke$ha.

We know your usual drinking habits tend to favor your wallet instead of your taste buds, but there’s something about The Oscars and Natty Ice that just don’t mix.  It’s a glamorous event so it requires a glamorous (drinking) menu. We found two cocktails worthy of this red carpet, so invite the girls over and wow them with a few of these:

Champagne Hotel California Cocktails
- 1 ounce tequila
- 2 ounces pineapple juice
- 2 ounces mandarin orange juice
- Top it all off with Champagne

Show off your bartending skills:
Mix the tequila and juices with ice. Strain into a serving glass of your choice. Add in Champagne and cheers!

Peppermint Patty Martini
-1 ounce vodka
-1 ounce chocolate liqueur (such as Godiva Chocolate liqueur)
-1 ounce peppermint Schnapps
-Peppermint stick or peppermint and chocolate reception stick

Show off your bartending skills:
Blend the vodka, chocolate liqueur and peppermint schnapps with crushed ice in a cocktail shaker. Pour into a frosted martini glass and garnish with a peppermint candy stick.

Want to throw in a game to make it more exciting? (Lord knows the fun starts to fade after three martinis and a few long-winded acceptance speeches…) Have everyone come early and throw down $10. Then set up a spreadsheet where everyone has to choose the winners in every single category (or even just the biggies). Watch the show, find out who has the most picks right and the winner gets the entire pot!

This Sunday, the 82nd Annual Academy Awards will air at 8 p.m. on ABC! We at CollegeCandy are obviously super excited for all the usual reasons: red carpet fashion, trying to predict the winners (will anything actually beat Avatar?) and of course, an excuse to put on a cocktail dress and drink on a Sunday.

But this year’s Oscar show has even more awesome-ity (yeah, we’re making up new words over here) to be excited about:

1. HOTTIES.
I’ll shamelessly admit that 90% of the reason I watch the Oscars is that hot guys look even hotter in formalwear. This year it seems that a disproportionate amount of hotties are nominated- George Clooney, Colin Firth, Jeremy Renner, Matt Damon…no matter who takes home the awards, I think the night will be a win-win in terms of eye candy.

2. The Best Actress Award
Lots of hype is surrounding this category this year, and rightfully so. Will it be seasoned veteran Meryl Streep for Julie and Julia? Sandra Bullock for playing Leigh Anne Tuohy in The Blindside? Or newcomer Gabourey Sidibe for her groundbreaking role in Precious? All of these lovely leading ladies are deserving, so it’ll be a nail-biter to see who takes home the gold.

3. Brangelina
With rumors of a split constantly showing up in the tabloids, it’ll be interesting to see how they appear together on the red carpet. Or if they even show up! Everyone wants to see what Angelina will be wearing (aka how flawless she’ll look), and if Brad is still sporting that fugly facial hair. Most importantly, will they give Ryan Seacrest the interview he missed out on last year?

4. The Hosts
This year, the Oscars will be hosted by funny guy Steve Martin and hot-older-guy Alec Baldwin. Both of whom I have inexplicable crushes on. Since Martin has hosted twice before (and earned an Emmy nom for it!) and Baldwin hasn’t, it’ll be the perfect mix of experience and fresh personality. And honestly, it’s Alec Freakin’ Baldwin; if he brings half of his 30 Rock humor to the stage it will be a very successful show.

5. The Situation?
I know the Academy Awards are a classy event (i.e. it’s not okay to lift up your shirt on the red carpet), but you never know! The Jersey Shore cast has so far been invited to the Grammy’s and New York Fashion Week, both being completely irrelevant to them, so it might not surprise me to see them at the Oscars. I know I’ll be lookin’ out for Snooki’s pouf and a six pack of abs before the show.

3 uses for that old lip gloss.

Yay for Jane Lynch!

Flattering looks for petite and curvy girls.

What is JWoww’s latest business plan?

10 things women do that drive men crazy.

No Brangelina at the Oscars?

Rumor has it that Brad and Angie are breaking up.

While the couple has not officially said anything just yet, the media world is buzzing. Not surprisingly (it is Brangelina, after all) every tabloid, gossip site and news source has covered the story.  What is surprising, though, is the fact that no one really seems to care.

Unlike Brad’s last relationship fail with Jennifer Aniston, (and many other celebrity marriages) the world isn’t approaching this story with a “OMG, not THEM!” sort of feeling, but rather with an an “It’s about time” attitude. We were all devastated when the perfection of Brad and Jen was no more, but it seems we feel no remorse when chewing on the thought of the farewell of Brad and Angie (and, hopefully, that awful beard Brad’s been sportin’).

Why is this particular break-up not hitting the tabloids with headlines, like “OMG We Can’t Believe It!?” And why does everyone want this relationship to fail?

Two words: Angelina Jolie.

Angelina may be a spectacular and successful actress, but she’s been rubbing many of us the wrong way since she announced she’d had sex with Billy Bob on the way to the Oscars. And it only got worse when she stabbed America’s sweetheart, Jen Aniston, in the back by stealing her man from under her nose. We all felt the sting. Basking in the pleasure of a broken-hearted Angelina Jolie, then, is a guilty pleasure I think everyone subconsciously craves.

And who doesn’t feel a bit threatened by her perfection? Maybe it’s because we are all jealous she can wear a $20 thrifted dress on the red carpet and looking absolutely stunning. Or how flawless her acting career is. Or how she is saving the world, one person at a time.  Or how she goes to bed with Brad Pitt every night. She is Angelina Jolie. She is perfect. And now it’s our chance to strike back a little bit; to savor the moment as Angelina’s perfect facade cracks a little and her world comes crumbling down.

Is it bad that I just smiled at the thought?

I feel bad saying it, but I think I’d be pleased if this break-up were official. And besides worrying about the fate of the litter children, I think the world agrees.

What about you? Would you care if the Brangelina empire unraveled?