Last month, 20 year old Geisy Arruda was expelled Bandeirante University in Brazil. What would cause someone to be expelled from a university?

Did she cheat?
Did she vandalize?
Did she hurt someone?

No, Geisy incited a mass riot among her fellow students. For showing up to school wearing a mini skirt and “heavy makeup.”

That’s right, when she arrived to school dressed up for the day her fellow students crowded her classroom door, shouting for her to come out so that they could rape her. As she was escorted out, the male students screamed “Puta!” and “whore!” while grabbing at Arruda and attempting to take cell phone pictures between her legs.

The next day Arruda was informed through an ad in the school newspaper that she was expelled, not even given the courtesy of being called and informed of this directly. Their reason for expulsion?  Her dress provoked a “collective reaction in defense of the school environment.”

And what environment is this exactly? One where the male students can do whatever they feel like?  Threaten women with violent and disgusting acts like rape? Leave class and start rioting in the hallways without even a slap on the wrist? Not only are they not being reprimanded for their outlandish behavior, but they are actually being defended by the school, all while this poor girl is made out to be a criminal. And for what? Putting on some eyeliner and wearing a cute sweater-mini to class? Read More »

Sheyla Hershey, a Brazilian singer, dancer, actress, and model who lives in Texas, was recently awarded the title of having the largest breast implants ever (Size 38 KKK!) by the Brazilian equivalent of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Beyond the obvious, “Are those things bigger than her head?” I was left with so many questions.

WHY????

Why would she even need boobs that big? How does she find clothes that fit? How does she find bras that fit? Can she even close her arms? Can she give someone a hug? How does she sleep? Can she go running, or would that be too dangerous? How does she even stand up without falling over face-first? How did her skin stretch that far? Could someone suffocate in there? Do her boobs get swollen during PMS? Is there an animal/small man trapped inside there? Does she even need to use a table anymore to eat her dinner?

It seems that Sheyla is yet another publicity whore looking for an unconventional way to get famous without actually doing anything worthwhile. She’s appeared on Fox News, The Insider, and, as her website states, “Her career is just taking off and about to soar to heights of majestic proportions.”

Pun intended? We think so.

I’ve been on the road in Colombia for a month now and, believe me, the thought has crossed my mind to “cheat” a bit and just finish the job in the quickest way possible. I’m getting paid only $25 a day to research and write about hotels, restaurants, and activities for what? Maybe I could just look up something online and write about it instead of actually going there. Who would know the difference?

My days often look something like this: Wake up and write as much as I can from the notes I took the previous day. (Morning is the only time my mind is fresh). Head out around noon and do some research — visit hotels, eat at restaurants, and participate in some activity that I can write about. Come back to my dorm room in the evening and jot down notes from my day. Go to bed.

Rarely do I go out, rarely do I feel like this is an authentic vacation. This is a job, just like my previous job as a high school English teacher. This is my new profession — one that doesn’t even pay for itself right now. I remain hopeful that it will one day.

Travel writing is not a glamorous job, as Thomas Kohnstamm, a Lonely Planet writer, explains in his new book, Do Travel Writers Go to Hell? Kohnstamm goes so far to detail his life as a travel writer that he admits he wasn’t paid enough (tell me about it!) to go to Colombia, so he never went and just wrote the book in California. For another assignment in Brazil, he sold drugs to supplement his income. Read More »

Someone needs to swear to me this isn’t true.

Spencer Pratt, the shudder-inducing bitchy straight guy from The Hills, might be trying to sell his own sex tape!

Reportedly, Pratt has been trying to sell his tape under the radar, hoping to make it seem like it was leaked without his knowledge.

While it’s not clear who exactly is featured on the tape, it was apparently made in Brazil three years ago, before MTV brought the nauseating duo of Heidi and Spencer together on it’s scripted reality series.

Commenting on the scandal in US Weekly (and no doubt loving the attention) Pratt claimed “there is no sex tape” and maintained that even though he did go to Brazil three years ago, he “was never on camera.”

Normally, I totally love it when celebrity sex tapes come out (I mean, how stupid can you be to lose a homemade porno?), but when it comes to the possibility of Spencer Sex Tape, I hope against hope that there’s no such thing. Read More »

Ever think to yourself, “Damn, Self, where can I go to find jeans that are not only ugly, but whorish at the same time?”

Well, someone did.

Bikini jeans, the new clothing invention by someone who worships Britney Spears, have begun their decent on fashion, fugging girls up one by one.

These blinding jeans supposedly have their origins in Japan, but after doing a little research, I found them being sold for $80 on a “Bazillion Fashion” website. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter what country is responsible, all that matters is that they cease and desist.

Underwear and jeans? Since when was this combo necessary? Read More »