So, I’m dealing with a really bad breakup right now. No, my boyfriend didn’t dump me – that would require me to have had a boyfriend in the first place. But my very good guy friend did dump his very serious girlfriend and now I’m left in the middle.

They have been dating for nearly a year and in that time I’ve grown quite close to the GF. We hung out a lot as a group and as things got more serious, I began to hang out with her independently. We’d see movies, do girl dinners and spend long hours at the library studying and making fun of her boyfriend.

And then last week, he up and broke up with her. She was shocked. I was shocked. We were all left with a lot of questions, mine being what I’m supposed to do now. Read More »

This has been a rough month. On top of approaching midterms, stress over summer internship plans, and the most awful Political Science professor known to mankind (he legitimately looks like a cartoon character, has the intelligence of an action figure, and wears his cell phone around his neck on a rope…), it seems like half of my school has recently been broken up with. Yes, apparently Break Up Season has officially begun, and as a result four of my best girlfriends are in varying degrees of ending relationships!

Since we returned from winter break, I have been in red alert nurturing mode, making sure that chocolate, ice cream, and Sex in the City episodes are all abundant for the initial mourning process for my girls. My phone, which usually I can never even find, is on uber loud at all hours so I can be there for the melt-downs at all times. When the grieving stage has passed, I’ve been there to make sure that the random rebound hook-ups (inspired by one too many whiskey sours) don’t turn into even bigger mistakes. Read More »

Whether you end things or he does, break-ups are hard. There’s a reason they’re quickly followed by carb loading (cookies and/or pints of beer) and making out with a rando against a wall. But relationships end for a reason; it’s just too bad that many of us are completely unable to remember the reason when we’re elbow deep in Oreos and crying at the latest Zales commercial.

Why do we always have such a hard time letting go?
Do we actually miss the guy, or do we just miss being in a relationship?

College relationships bring comfort and ease during a time in our lives that is filled with uncertainty. We’re unsure about our future, our jobs, our grades, our finances, and are generally stressed out.  We look at our guys as the one thing we can count on always; to support us, to love us, to cuddle with us after a long day of class and studying.  Not to mention that being single is exhausting!  I’ve had one too many nights of getting dressed up in hopes of finding a cutie to take home, only to end the night crying and carrying a pizza.

But the majority of us college girls will inevitably endure a break-up within these four years. Sad but true. Breaking up is a major change and it’s scary!  It means saying goodbye to those sweet good morning texts, romantic dinner dates, and guaranteed booty (what? it’s usually the thing I miss most!), and hello to a completely new life. We feel vulnerable and lonely and ready to run right back to our ex before we even have a chance to sleep alone. The same ex who wasn’t giving us what we needed or deserved. Read More »

Hm. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea.

This song has been in my head for weeks, probably because perfectly describes what I’m living through. I recently broke up with my boyfriend.

Except not really.

Long-distance was not working out for us, so we tried an open relationship. When that didn’t fix anything, I ended it… two days before going to visit him for two weeks. Awkward much? I visited and we carried on like nothing had changed, promising we would start acting broken up once I left.

I’ve been home for over a month now and we still talk every day. He asked me to be his Valentine. I’m visiting over spring break, which also includes our one-year anniversary, and we’re still celebrating it. I’ve been on two dates, and each time felt like I was cheating. How could anyone call this broken up?

My situation may be especially strange, but I know many of my friends have been in similar positions. It’s hard to let go of someone, and usually that means a break up is more of a process than an event. You end things, cry, drunk dial, cry, sleep together, cry, keep sleeping together, get it together, stop sleeping together, move on. It ends up looking something like this.

And now that I’m in it, I’m confused. I know that I’m probably not going about this right, but I’m not sure what right is.

Can break up sex be right? Read More »

The Razzies nominees are out!

Would you wear a necklush?

The 7 stages of a breakup.

Amy Winehouse likes whatever she can get girls.

Shop for Haiti!

How to judge a guy by his shoes.

One summer when I was away at camp I got into a fight with all ten girls in my bunk. For three days, no one would talk to me. Eventually my counselor called me into her cabin and sat me down for a talk. I tried to blame everyone else (“But she cut me in line for water skiing! And she kicked sand onto my towel!”), but Stacy just wasn’t having it.

“If the entire bunk is mad at you, could it be something that you’re doing?” She asked.

I started to cry. Not because she was right – those girls were being cruel to me, not the other way around – but because now even my counselor was being mean. My 11-year-old mind couldn’t wrap itself around her reasoning. I didn’t do anything wrong and she’s taking their side? Why not call the other girls over and tell them there was something wrong with them? I want my mom.

But now, a little older and a whole lot wiser, I wonder if Stacy’s argument holds true.

I’ve been single for three years now. Three long years. I’ve had my fair share of post-bar trysts, but nothing that hasn’t ended with a few awkward stares as I strolled back to my place in the outfit I wore the night before. I’ve also had a few dates here and there but, again, none of it ever panned out. I’d like to think it was all my choice – that there was something wrong with each and every one of the guys I’ve gotten naked/drinks with – but now I’m beginning to wonder if maybe the problem isn’t with all of them and is actually with me. Read More »

Back when Matt and I were first dating freshman year, it came time for us to register for our next semester’s classes. He and I both wanted to take Japanese as our foreign language, but agreed that it’d be better off if we took it at different times. He thought I’d be a distraction, and I didn’t want to compete with him over grades.

This past semester however, for our third semester of Japanese (seriously, why FOUR semesters of a foreign language? excessive, no?), we both had such weird and limiting schedules that we ended up in the same class. I was prepared for the worst, since less than a year before Matt said he hated the idea of us with a class together. To my surprise, he was actually looking forward to it. We did survive, but now, for our final semester, we are back to different professors at different time. Like most relationship happenings, having class with my significant other was full of ups and downs:

Up:
The convenience factor. We only had to buy one book (which, let’s be honest, saves a giant chunk of change). We also got to ride the bus to school together and if I was home sick (thanks, flu season ‘09), Matt could turn in my work for me.

Down:
Distraction. You try not talking to your boyfriend when you’re sitting next to him in class three days a week. Read More »

He's not worth that smeared lipstick, girlfriend!

It all happens so quickly.

You are out a bar/party with your girls, looking amazing, because, honestly, what CollegeCandy girl doesn’t look amazing? You see him, he sees you and – boom – you start talking. Talking turns into flirting, flirting turns into so-bad-they’re-cute pick up lines and soon he’s buying you a drink. Maybe it’s the vodka, maybe it’s the way he keeps finding an excuse to touch you’re arm, but you’re smitten and your night just got a whole lot better. The number exchange comes next and the cute-textathon begins.

He’s sweet and witty and you look forward to the daily flirtation and then – out of nowhere -  it just stops. No more morning musings. No more responses to your adorable messages. Nada.

Turns out, homeboy just isn’t that into you.

After that lovely realization comes the packages of Oreo cookies, the Friends marathons, the comfy pajama pants, and the over- analyzing.  It doesn’t matter that nothing ever really came from this; getting rejected sucks and it hurts and you really thought this guy was gonna be the guy. But you were wrong. And now you’re 3lbs heavier, lonely and hating yourself.

While getting over a guy should be as easy as getting into him, it never is. But you deserve more than nights spent alone in front of the mirror wondering what’s wrong with you. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. Remind yourself of that and follow these 5 little steps and you’ll be over that turd in no time. Read More »

Even though this month’s Cosmo is all about the new year, it just included more of the same old: a feature on Girl-on-Top, a few pointers on how to get hot guys naked, and their annual Bedside Astrologer (!!). It also featured a two page lingerie spread with advice from the Victoria’s Secret Angels…then continued to reference VS like 6 more times throughout the issue. Hmm, something’s going on….

By far the most -  ahem – interesting article, though, was The Guy Report (surprise, surprise). Read on for the gems of advice that Cosmo doles out this month.

Cosmo Says: If your guy won’t let you put pics up of the two of you kissing on FB, he’s just concerned with privacy.
Kari Says: OR he doesn’t want anyone knowing you two are dating…sketchy. I’m not into PDA, especially not when it involves a 5 minute video of you two staring into each others’ eyes meaningfully, or passionately making out in hi-def (Note: no one else is, either). But we’re all guilty of letting a little mush slip into our tagged photos every once in a blue moon. If he’s serious about you, he won’t mind letting his friends (or “Friends”) know.

Cosmo Says: Stop asking your date questions about himself! Make sure the convo revolves around you, he’ll be smitten.
Kari Says: Really? Because I’ve been on dates like that – they’re not fun! I understand that Cosmo is trying to promote self-confidence, but being interesting is just as important as being interested. The best conversation should casually flow back and forth about both of us, right? I want to get to know a guy as best as I can when we’re on a date…kinda hard to do if I won’t shut up about myself the entire time. Besides, a great date will ask all the right questions about me—all on his own! Read More »

We're gonna stay together forever...or until we get to college and grow apart/find better options.

Upon graduation, my high school sweetheart and I left for different universities in the same city, vowing to stay together, no matter what. “No high school couple lasts beyond their first semester freshman year,” someone told me, to which I replied with a scoff and an eye-roll. That kind of advice was meant for bicoastal couples separated by thousands of miles, and people who just weren’t committed enough to making it work. I resolved to survive the turkey drop.

But by the middle of second semester, I had unceremoniously ended a four-year relationship, citing midterms and the “different directions” in which our lives were headed. What was once was a comfortable refuge ultimately felt stifling, and the messy breakup regrettably tainted years of good memories for a long time after. But I had to do it and it was definitely worth it in the long run.

For those contemplating the High School Sweetheart Breakup (and those of you who are and just refuse to admit it), here’s why it might be better to shelve your boyfriend’s varsity jacket with the rest of your senior yearbook memories: Read More »