Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and I love him. That is something that must be understood first and foremost.

However, over the past couple of months I keep thinking about breaking up with him. He is immature, selfish, and inconsiderate. He has never bought me anything for my birthday, Valentines Day, Christmas, Sweetest Day, or our anniversary. I buy him presents every time I’m supposed to, and when I’m out shopping and see something I know he would like, I get it. I always keep him in mind and do nice things for him but he NEVER does anything for me. I understand that he doesn’t have a lot of money, but whenever he does have extra money he won’t even buy me a flower or a card or ANYTHING! I’m always expected to pay for when we go out to eat or to the movies.

I don’t complain since I know he doesn’t have a job, neither do I but I always find a way to get him SOMETHING. I’m not the type of girl who needs to be showered with presents but it would be nice if he would do something for me when he’s able. For my birthday he worked with a friend and got a little bit of money he told me was for my birthday. He expected me to kiss his a** and be so proud of him, and I was because I thought it was sweet. But when he got paid he bought himself new movies, and even had me drive him to buy them. He told me he’d still get me something, and never did.

Read More »

Just about everyone out there seems to have dating horror stories. Seriously, ask anybody; chances are they’ll tell you that they have a relationship that they wish had just never happened. I myself went through a pretty nasty break up earlier this year. Not only was I with the guy for over 3 years, we lived together and were planning a wedding when I realized that what we were doing was a mistake and called everything off.

I’ve spent the past 7 months trying to put my life back together and pretty much hating my ex for how nasty he got post-breakup.

Recently, however, a friend and I were talking about living without regrets. She said, “I don’t regret anything. Sure I’ve made mistakes and have had rough times, but all of that made me who I am today. And I love what I see in the mirror, so why bother with regrets?” I love my friend for her incredible amount of self confidence, and she really made me think. I realized that instead of hating my ex and wishing that I’d never met him, not EVERYTHING about our time together was bad.

From every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve taken something away and learned from them all: Read More »

Dear Dude,

My best friend came clean this summer and told me he has had feelings for me since the eighth grade (six years). There is one problem: he has had a girlfriend for a little over two and a half years. He told me he is losing interest in her, she is not his type, and he hates so many things about her; she was just the girl he needed at the time. He tells me I am beautiful and always makes me feel special. He and I have so much in common – we hung out all summer (he saw me more than his girlfriend), his mother even told him to break up with his girlfriend for me. He is the perfect guy for me he is really sweet and romantic and knows absolutely everything about me. I know him better than anyone else and he knows me just as well.

I went to visit him at school this year and I met all of his friends and they kept asking him if I was his new girlfriend. The day I had to leave to go back to my school he told me he didn’t know what he was still doing with his current girlfriend and every time his friends asked him if I was his new girlfriend he wanted to say yes. He also told me every time he sees me his feelings for me grow stronger and stronger.

I started to get sick of him telling me about all of his feelings for me and not doing anything about it. So I took some advice from my sister and told him that I couldn’t wait around for him. He broke up with his girlfriend. We didn’t talk for a few days, which is not normal at all because we talk all day and every day. I understand he needed space and time to think, but later that weekend he deleted me off of Facebook. I asked him what was going on and he told me his ex made him do it. That night he told me he might be getting back with his her because losing her for two days made him realize that everything he hated about her didn’t matter to him anymore. When he said that, it made me feel like he was telling me that I was not worth it. He made me promise to be his best friend forever because he needs me in his life.  He also told me he wishes I would have had feelings for him sooner because we would probably be together, and now he wants his feelings for me to fade because he knows they will never go away.

Is he just afraid of change? Did I mess everything up? Should I wait around for him? Would it be a bad idea to see him over Thanksgiving break? I don’t think I know how to move on from him – what should I do?

I’m in need of major advice,
Broken Hearted Girl Read More »

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Most people know how much it sucks to break up with a boyfriend. Whether he treated you horribly or the relationship has just run its course, telling your boyfriend adios is not easy. And is usually followed by tears, vodka, long trips to the gym, or some combination of all three.

The only thing harder than a romantic breakup is breaking up with a friend.

How do you tell someone that is your ultimate best friend and gal pal that, well, you’re just not that into her anymore?

Breaking things off with a BFF is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Bottom line: this best friend just wasn’t really a friend anymore. She’d been flaking out on me, was way too caught up in trivial drama, and was never there when I truly needed her. She would only talk about herself and seemed completely uninterested in any details about my life. She seemed to be oblivious to her behavior and our deteriorating friendship, and I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a genuine conversation.

Once I came to terms with the issues, I knew that our friendship was going to have to end. And then I noticed how eerily similar the end of a platonic relationship is to that of a romantic one. Read More »

Austin Purifoy taught us a very valuable lesson this week when he pooped in the backseat of a car he thought belonged to his girlfriend – apparently you can go “too far” when it comes to getting back at your ex.  Though Mr. Purifoy won’t be arrested for his stunt, we thought this one went a little beyond what’s considered reasonable revenge.  The line is fine and often hard to define, but here’s our best attempt at outlining what is and what isn’t acceptable bitch behavior:

Okay: Putting something gross in your ex’s car.  Like an onion.  Or a dead hermit crab.
Not okay: Having that “gross thing” be poop.  Yours or anyone else’s.

Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. And this month Meredith is giving up junk food. Yes, really. Her first week was good. Great, even. Then life got in the way. She began turning things around last week, and now it's time to see what this month taught her.]

It goes without saying that this month didn’t go according to plan for me, but interestingly, I think I learned a lot more than I had originally expected.

I created this challenge for myself, as I stated in week one, to figure out a way to cope with my problems that didn’t involve eating junk food. Going in, I was struggling with boyfriend and family problems that had been causing me to eat random sweets that I’m not sure I was even enjoying. I wrongly assumed that this pattern would continue. Instead, I lost my interest in food completely when my boyfriend and I broke up.

This has been such an interesting journey for me in so many ways, especially because I went through different phases throughout the month. I started with a sweet tooth, then I transitioned into a complete distaste for any food, but now I am accepting the fact that I have to work food into my daily routine. This is why I will not be giving up junk food again. I have a very different perspective on it now, mostly because now I’m not dreading my cravings. They are what they are, and if I make the right choices most of the time, those (wonderful) moments with mozzarella sticks won’t be such a big deal. Read More »

I’m pretty sure we’ve already established that when it comes to college, formal relationships are a rare thing.  Between texting, sexting, late night hookups, and romantic runs for drunk food, it can be hard to tell when even the collegiate equivalent of a relationship begins.  And if you can’t mark the start of something, how on earth are you supposed to recognize the end?

I’ve seen and and you have, too. Those friends who just can’t let go of the absolute coolest guy they’ve ever met ever, ever. And to us, it’s obvious he doesn’t quite reciprocate those feelings. He’s dodgy, indifferent, cold… But our girls just don’t seem to get it.

Well, fear not.  I’m about to break down for you, and everyone who needs it: the ultimate red flags that a guy’s simply, for lack of a better phrase, done with you.

Evasive Maneuvers
Suddenly texts go unanswered.  You’re more familiar with his voicemail than with his actual voice.  His friends claim that he’s “Just, like, really busy.  I don’t know.”  He waves back on campus, but only from a distance and never approaches you first.  You’d be shocked at how many girls can rationalize this type of sketchy behavior.

“Plus One” Doesn’t Mean Plus You
Formals, mountain weekends, tailgates, mixers.  Think your invite got lost in the mail?  Think again.

He Introduces You as a Friend
Not just to his parents, but to everyone.  And if he suddenly starts treating you like one of the guys it’s not because he’s just totally comfortable with you.  It’s because he doesn’t give a crap about impressing you because you’re dunzo in his book. Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. And this month Meredith is giving up junk food. Yes, really. Her first week was good. Great, even. Then life got in the way. This week, she's turning things around.]

I ate mozzarella sticks. And I’m not ashamed.

Not much has changed since my tough week last week. I’m still adjusting to the single life, which I love more and more every day.  The nausea is the only thing that has really persisted, which means that I will unfortunately probably have to see a doctor just to make sure that nothing is medically wrong with me. Though I’m convinced it’s nothing more than the residual effects of Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Ew, I don’t even like thinking about it. Even if she was wearing a lean protein.

So finally on Tuesday, I felt up for a late night snack at the dining hall. The good news is the mozzarella sticks smelled like heaven. The bad news is they definitely did nothing for my post-breakup bouts of nausea. I could have sworn that they would have healing powers, that I’d take one bite and instantly feel happy and free and content. But alas, I woke up the next morning as sick as ever. I’m definitely not mad at myself for eating them, though. If everything this month had gone according to plan and I was eating like Jillian Michaels every day, then I probably would be pissed at myself for eating disgusting fried cheese mid-month. But, that’s not the case and if anything, I needed the calories. Read More »