Most people know how much it sucks to break up with a boyfriend. Whether he treated you horribly or the relationship has just run its course, telling your boyfriend adios is not easy. And is usually followed by tears, vodka, long trips to the gym, or some combination of all three.

The only thing harder than a romantic breakup is breaking up with a friend.

How do you tell someone that is your ultimate best friend and gal pal that well, you’re just not that into her anymore?

Breaking things off with a BFF is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Bottom line, this best friend just wasn’t really a friend anymore. She’d been flaking out on me, was way too caught up in trivial drama, and was never there when I truly needed her. She would only talk about herself and seemed completely uninterested in any details about my life. She seemed to be oblivious to her behavior and our deteriorating friendship, and I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a genuine conversation.

Once I came to terms with the issues, I knew that our friendship was going to have to end. And then I noticed how eerily similar the end of a platonic relationship is to that of a romantic one.

The Fighting: We started to fight and bicker about the most insignificant details. Our opinions seemed to be on opposite sides of the spectrum, even though we used to finish each other’s sentences and always be on the same page.

The Little Things I Never Noticed Started to Piss. Me. Off: How did I not realize how petty and ignorant she was before? Did she always talk this much gossip about our friends? If she says the phrase,”I’ve never felt this way before!” about another guy, I will scream.

The Talk: I decided to sit down and have the talk with her. You know, about “us,” how it’s just not working and how I really felt. The talk went well, she promised she’d change and apologized for being a bia. Read More »

I hate my exes. Mostly because I’m not even sure I can call them my exes. You see, in the world of the eternally single, you rack up a lot of blurry relationships with people. We go on dates, but we’re not dating. We’re dating, but we’re not together. We’re together, but he’s not my boyfriend. We make out every Tuesday, Thursday, and third Friday of the month, but that’s it.

It’s bad enough when it’s occurring, but when the sordid, undefinable tryst ends…you don’t even know how to bitch about them! Man, that “guy who I used to sometimes make out with (and one time I think we went on a date, but it was only kind of a date because we didn’t refer to it as one)… really sucks.” God. It takes up more effort than the half assed relationship ever did.

The worst of it followed me out this week. Earlier in the summer, I had become interested in (obsessed with) a cute, smart, funny dude I had met while I was out. I gave him my number, and we ended up hanging out (making out) a few times. I started to get frustrated when I realized the extent of our hanging out was us making out, so I finally grew a metaphorical pair and told the horny jerk off. And of course with my luck, two days after I stand up for myself by acting like a crazy bitch, I run into him while I’m out with friends. And I thought Chicago was supposed to be a LARGE city…do I need to move to Hong Kong? Read More »

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know.]

I’m going to be honest: my last break up was over four years ago. So when my editor suggested I do a Miss Manners piece on break ups (“because we all suck so badly at that”), I really had to rack my brains for “polite” ways to conduct a break up. What I found was:

There is no polite way to break up with someone.

Yes, the cold, hard truth is, breaking up with someone is dirty business and – unless the relationship really wasn’t that serious – one of you is bound to end up looking like a mess. While there is no set in stone way of saying, “Hey, it’s over,” or “Sorry but I’m leaving you for your brother,” there are some more or less common sense rules to abide to: Read More »

While there are definitely tons of perks that come with being a celebrity, like the money, nice clothes, and invites to awesome Hollywood parties (to name just a few), fame also has its drawbacks.

Like the paps.

Being a mere mortal, I love the freedom I have of being able to go out of my house in sweatpants and no makeup without fear that an unflattering picture of it would show up online later that day, followed closely by the rag mags discussing my cellulite, my hair and my major fashion Don’t.

And I don’t even want to think of having to deal with my personal life in front of the world. After watching the media frenzy surrounding Lindsay and Sam’s recent breakup, I have really started to feel bad for our little LiLo. I know she’s sort of an attention whore (with a laundry list of issues), but the absolute last thing I’d want to deal with after a big break-up is constant media attention.

Just imagine what it would be like to have to deal with a heartbreaking break up while the world was watching your every move. Would you want the paparazzi swarming you when you’re walking to class in baggy sweats, no makeup, and puffy eyes from crying? Or have photos taken of you while you stock up on cookie dough and Doritos to numb the pain of a broken heart? I know I’d like to avoid any and all photos when I spontaneously burst into tears at the mere mention of beer (“OMG MY EX LOOOOVED BEEEEEEER. Waaaaah”).  Read More »

Rebound. It’s a common move and it’s not just for basketball. Whether we’re the ones just getting over a breakup or the new partner in our life is getting over an ex, the person intimately involved with an individual immediately post-breakup is oftentimes considered the rebound.

Everyone understands and supports the need for a little rebound action. That is, if you’re honest about what you’re seeking from the reboundees.

But there’s a gray area in rebounds I’d like to discuss:

The emotional rebound.

We all know about sexual/physical rebounds. This is when your ex does a girl you know he’s not even into after you break up. It’s when you get wasted and have some good ol’ random sex during that trip back home to collect your mind. But does the rebound always have to be physical?

Is there such thing as an emotional rebound? Can an emotional rebound be someone separate from your sexual/physical rebound? So many questions! Read More »

I would have never dated me three or four years ago. Sure, I was lovely in most ways and I was a catch in most ways, but there was one little thing about dating that I just didn’t get: being friends after the breakup.

When my heart was broken before, I knew exactly how to manipulate the story to victimize myself and follow up with passionate vengeance. I never even gave a guy a fair chance to break up with me without it being ugly. And looking back on that, it makes me thoroughly sad.

These days, I understand relationships as more than ultimatums or pending doom and broken heartedness. Now I get it.

If I was that close to a guy before, close enough to let him be the only boy I would even kiss, he must have had something to contribute to the world and my life more than sex, right? Right. So why would I cut all of those positive things out of my life just because we made a decision to end the intimacy?

Upon realizing just how much I was giving up when I cut off all ties with my exes, I began changing my ways. I am now friends with all of my exes; yes, every last one. I have rebuilt the bridges I burned and, in fact, just hopped on a plane last month to go visit my most recent ex. As a FRIEND. And we had a great time!

When you are of the mentality that you can’t be friends with a dude after you break up, you are already hindering your relationship. You are already screwing up its natural course of growth and making aspects of the relationship ugly that don’t need to be. Damning your post-breakup relationship to Hell is not only immature, but it’s sad; if you liked a guy enough to date him, you should like him enough to be there for him when you’re done dating one another. Read More »

Listen clearly: I don’t want this to discourage you girls in LDRs or in any relationship for that matter, but something happened to me that is absolutely mortifying and humiliating and just unbelievable.

I’m the girl that was in an on-and-off relationship with a guy for eight years. Eight years. Eight long years of ups and downs, break ups, makeup sex, happy times, sad times, etc. He was my best friend. This year things changed a bit; I started college and he moved across the country. But we knew we’d be ok; we lasted this long didn’t we?

Before I left for school I visited him for three wonderful weeks. It was all lovey dovey and perfect. He was constantly telling me tat he loved me like he has for eight years, and we were going to get married, and blah blah blah.

When I got to college (about a month ago), I realized how much I disliked the school and told him how I wanted to go to New York next semester. He was really supportive and reminded me I could always transfer out there. Awww.

And then I didn’t hear from him for a few days. And then a few more days went on without contact. So I started to freak out. When I finally got a hold of him he told me we were fine, he missed me and loved me, and not to worry. So I didn’t; I figured we were back to normal.

But apparently we weren’t. No phone calls, no texts. He didn’t answer my calls or my texts. I was being ignored. I sent a long text explaining that he should want to talk to me because I was his girlfriend, and we needed to talk things out. I told him how I wasn’t mad (even though I was furious), and I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend. No answer. I got drunk (great solution to everything, eh?) and ended up calling fifteen times and sending four texts (according to my call log). Again, no answer. Read More »

Yes, it’s true, the period from late December to Valentines Day is officially known as National Break-up Season. According to a study done by Yahoo, couples are twice as likely to think about breaking up now compared to any other time during the year. And speaking from personal experience, as a case study of this break-up phenomenon who has recently become single for the first time in awhile, it’s true.

I realized that my situation was not just an isolated incident over the course of the past couple days after speaking to a number of different friends who (previously) had serious boyfriends, and enthusiastically said to me, “I’m single! Drinks this weekend?” I must say that it is comforting to know I am in good company.

Although this break-up season statistic may seem weird at first glance (wouldn’t couples be so in love after the holidays? and preparing to spend a romantic Cupid’s day together), it actually makes complete sense. Read More »