I got fired. It came out of nowhere, like a ton of bricks on my head. I was called in for a meeting with my supervisor and the head of the company on a Thursday morning, and everyone (myself included) actually thought I was getting promoted! I had been doing so well, and my supervisor had just told me the day before how well I was handling the work.

And then? Bam. Fired. Jobless. Let go only 2 months into my very first full-time salary-and-benefits job out of college.

What I didn’t realize about being fired is that it feels exactly like a breakup.

I went home and curled up under my duvet in the middle of the afternoon, and all I could do is replay the breakup in my head. Instead of “I think we should see other people” it was “We are going to have to terminate you, effective immediately”. I could picture my boss’s face in my head, and it brought me to tears each time. Just like a breakup, I couldn’t eat or sleep or think about anything else. In vain I tried to distract myself by downloading and watching episodes of Gossip Girl.

A few days later, when I finally dragged myself out of bed, I came to realize that I probably wouldn’t see most of my ex-coworkers again, kind of like how you never get to see your ex-boyfriend’s cool friends after the breakup. Too awkward. But I loved my co-workers! I can’t believe I don’t get to hang out with any more! And of course I wouldn’t be able to hang out in the neighborhood where my old office was, for fear of running into my ex-boss, or just being overwhelmed with negative memories. This thought affected me so much I almost broke down in tears again just thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to go to the local DELI again. The deli! I was clearly losing it. Read More »

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that you always want what you can’t have. The grass is always greener. There will always be someone with a better wardrobe, a hotter ride and a more impressive resume. Such is life.

So, this weekend I decided that I was going to get a little taste of the other side – the other side of my ex-boyfriend’s door, that is.

I blame it on being a Scorpio. Word on the street is that we know exactly how to work our sexy Scorpion magic: We will sit back and wait, silently, passively – no matter how vehemently we really desire something- for the right moment to attack our poor, vulnerable prey (which was, in this case, my unsuspecting, man-whore of an ex).

See, after I broke up with the sleaze (and felt absolutely miserable about it and watched him act like he probably couldn’t have cared less) – I waited. And waited. And waited. Even though we hang out with the same group of drunk, dreadlocked, alcoholic idiots and saw each other at least once every two weeks, I kept my mouth (and legs) shut. Read More »

Judging from last week’s CC poll, a lot of you feel confused about your exes.

Join the club.

I think a lot of us fear that there might be something wrong if we still have feelings for an ex, even years later.

Society tells us that we’re supposed to kick it and move on, that we should say “tough luck” if somebody dumps us, and that we should never again be tempted to kiss somebody we’ve ended a relationship with.

…For real?

Even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, and I can’t imagine any scenario in which I would break up with him, I still feel a little wishy-washy about a few of my exes. Doesn’t everybody? Sure, there are a couple I’d just as soon never talk to again, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about them every week or two (even if it is just in passing). Read More »

College overall is a great time and once you’re done (take it from me), you will miss it terribly. The fact that you have all of your friends around you at all times, endless social opportunities, and things like paying rent or worrying about health insurance are not even on your radar yet add to the carefree fun.

That being said, life still just plain sucks sometimes. Whether you’re totally stressed about an upcoming presentation, feel like you haven’t slept in weeks cramming for finals, or are going through a painful breakup with the boy who lives down the hall, it’s inevitable that the blues will creep up on you at some point.

And according to a recent wave of scientists, you should not treat sadness like a horrible disease that needs to be taken care of immediately.

Eric Wilson, author of the new book, Against Happiness, argues that our culture has a fixation on happiness, and fosters “a craven disregard for the value of sadness” and “its integral place in the great rhythm of the cosmos.”

Okay, so the whole “rhythm of the cosmos” thing sounds a little odd, but hear me out.

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Breaking up sucks, so you might as well get a good story out of it. None of this civil shit — I want tears in the eyes, blood on the walls, buttons off the shirts.

Unfortunately, most of my breakups have been rather tame. I keep my grudges to myself. Depending on the magnitude of the schism, I cope by going the patented Jennifer Aniston route (yoga, weed, Smart Water) or taking a ride on the pie highway to drown my sorrows. Either way, slander and slaughter are kept to a minimum; the only victim is me.

So, I don’t really understand crazy, dramatic breakups, but that doesn’t mean I can’t revel in them (read: laugh at) when they happen, especially in Brad-and-Jen Land. There are the sad ones, like Reese and Ryan and Jake and Kirsten which leave you a little deflated but ultimately make you feel better about yourself — because if they can’t make it work, who can? Read More »

I always considered myself a pretty independent woman. I love hanging out alone reading books or doing my nails, have no problem eating alone in a restaurant and tend to do my own thing whenever given the opportunity. And when it comes to my relationships with people…well, I tend not to cling.

So you can imagine my level of frustration (I’d say I am at “High” right now) at my inability to deal ever since the end of my two month relationship.

First of all, it was only two months. And it wasn’t even a good two months. Yes, I had a great time hanging out with the boy, but he just couldn’t make me laugh. And even worse, I couldn’t get him to laugh. He also loved talking about himself and couldn’t seem to understand why I would ever want to share things about myself with him. And in the last 3 weeks of our relationship (where I refused to call him my boyfriend…probably because he would want to immediately change his Facebook status) I really never had much fun when I was with him. If you don’t count time in the bed (or on the kitchen table…) I was probably annoyed about 100% of the time. Read More »

So by now you’ve read or at least heard of the two books He’s Just Not That Into You and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. Well one of the authors, Greg Behrendt, has some hilariously funny downloadable ringtones on his personal website. These are no ordinary ringtones…they’re meant to be set in your phone as the personal ringtone for that special a-hole that you KNOW is bad for you but you can’t seem to shake.

My personal favorite is called “Booty Call” and it’s a recording of Greg singing “Guess who’s drunk and phoning again, it’s me, it’s me…guess who’s drunk and phoning again at quarter to three…AM…in the morning…don’t do it! It’s a booty call! Don’t do it…”

Then there’s also “Let It Go to Voicemail” and “Delete It.” Perfect for when you know you need some extra reassurance as to why you shouldn’t pick up when that phone starts ringing and you know the person calling is B-A-D bad news. Shear genius.