Lindsay Lohan was dating Heath Ledger!?

Tracy Morgan is raunchy. And some people are surprised?

Scandal at Cornell! (And this is JUICY.)

Nicole Richie brings her style to Bebe.

Some women will do anything for a new pair of boobs…

Glee is a giant success! (Duh. It’s awesome.)

Who doesn’t want to have their cake and it eat too? Well what if you could have your cake, eat it and up your cup size all at the same time without doing permanent damage to your figure? It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it?

In Miami, a plastic surgeon is sucking out the fat in women’s unsightly muffin tops and injecting it into their breasts. Talk about killing two birds with one huge suction device. Minimize the love handles, maximize the love jugs. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Now that I think about it, it seems so obvious. Women have been getting liposuction for years. Why waste all that precious fat when it could be put to good use and make you look slammin’ in a halter top?

Honestly, I can see the appeal of this type of procedure. It’s essentially rearranging the fat on my body until it’s in its rightful place… my bra. Plus, just think of the days leading up to the procedure: “Sorry guys, I have to eat this entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s by myself. I have surgery tomorrow.”

So the next time the dreaded drunk munchies hit, I won’t hold myself back from ordering the large Domino’s pizza with breadsticks. In fact, bring it on. I’m really lacking up top and I’ve got some new skinny jeans to fit into.

Phew! I was worried I could only afford one boob. That would have been a little weird.
Thank you, Dr. Hotchandani!

Sheyla Hershey, a Brazilian singer, dancer, actress, and model who lives in Texas, was recently awarded the title of having the largest breast implants ever (Size 38 KKK!) by the Brazilian equivalent of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Beyond the obvious, “Are those things bigger than her head?” I was left with so many questions.

WHY????

Why would she even need boobs that big? How does she find clothes that fit? How does she find bras that fit? Can she even close her arms? Can she give someone a hug? How does she sleep? Can she go running, or would that be too dangerous? How does she even stand up without falling over face-first? How did her skin stretch that far? Could someone suffocate in there? Do her boobs get swollen during PMS? Is there an animal/small man trapped inside there? Does she even need to use a table anymore to eat her dinner?

It seems that Sheyla is yet another publicity whore looking for an unconventional way to get famous without actually doing anything worthwhile. She’s appeared on Fox News, The Insider, and, as her website states, “Her career is just taking off and about to soar to heights of majestic proportions.”

Pun intended? We think so.

How fantabulous is that special time of the month when Auntie Flo comes to town? You know, the time where we cry over nothing, breakout like we are in 9th grade, look like we just got breast implants, and want to remove our uterus ourselves with the sharpest untensil we can find because it hurts so badly.

Oh, and we proceed to eat every fatty, salty, chocolaty, everything that is in our path no matter how hard we were working out the week before.

So, when searching for this week’s recipes- I thought, “IDEA! Why not give our faithful CC readers some easy recipes that will satisfy your PMS cravings and not pack on the pounds?“

So sit back with some Midol, a heating pad, a good ‘ol sappy movie and a big, huge fork and indulge — sans guilt!

Oven Baked French Fries

(with ketchup, and a little salt they will taste like the real deal- try sweet potatoes if your feeling crazy!)

What you need:

6 lg. russet or other baking potatoes, scrubbed

Vegetable spray

Directions:

Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Cut potatoes into 1/2 inch strips or leave thicker if you prefer more of a potato wedge. Lightly spray baking pan with vegetable spray. Lay potatoes in a single layer on baking sheet.

Spray strips with vegetable spray before placing pan in oven. Bake 15-20 minutes, turn them and continue baking until crisp and browned, approximately 15-20 minutes more. Read More »

Okay, since breast implants were quite the hot topic a few days ago, I feel the need to share my most recent discovery in the world of surgery. And let me tell you, it is sickening. Supposedly, Israeli researchers are developing something called an “Internal Bra.”

Confused as to how this is possible? Well, it’s simple really. “What we’ve done is build a silicon bra, insert it into the body and attach it to the ribs and to the fascia. It’s like a normal external bra,” explains one of the researchers.

I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of medical problems this could cause for women in the long run. Read More »

For flat-chested girls, having a full C, or even B, cup would be a dream come true. It was for Heidi. I know multiple friends of mine that have commented on how much they want larger boobs and would consider implants when they are older. Personally, the idea of inserting foreign substances into my chest sounds uncomfortable and unappealing. But, I also may not fully understand the woes of those still not satisfied with their knockers.

Well, a recently published study in the Annals of Plastic Surgery showed a strong link between breast implants and suicide, which I found very interesting. According to USA Today, the study found that “women who have breast implants are three times as likely to die by suicide and have a similar increased risk of death as a result of drug use or alcoholism.” Read More »

I live in New York. It takes a lot for me to get sketched out. I walk by a legless ventriloquist who sings Sinatra on my way to work and have witnessed a mouse jump from my TV and land smack inside a potato chip bag I had eaten out of only moments earlier. Strange men say things to me almost daily, and feeling someone lean in too close on the subway is more than an occasional occurrence.

That being said, I am seriously skeeved out by myfreeimplants.com.

This web site is exactly what it says it is: a place where people (men mostly, I’m assuming) can help woman buy plastic surgery—boob jobs being the highlight. (Although it also advertises “Gummy Bear” implants. Which I can only guess would be…actually, I can’t guess. I’m afraid to.)

Chicks upload photos of themselves, and creepy men look at those photos and talk to them about how big they want their new boobs and how much money they need to raise. Women can put “personal items” up for sale (let your imagination go wild on that one, I’m sure you’re right), and men can request “custom photos of [their] favorite girls” in “specific outfits”. Read More »