I love my boobs. Seriously.  They are fabulous and I wouldn’t do anything in this world to replace them with anything else.  I’m happy to have them by my side whenever I‘m laying down need a handful of jiggly happiness to cry on.  I believe they are superb. I don’t want this post to seem like a giant complain-fest.  It’s simply the honest truth about having big boobs.

Because mine are ginormous.

I’m being honest.  You could probably see them from where you’re sitting right now.  I can barely fit half of one in my hand when I grab on to them (yes, I’ve tried) and when I look down, I can’t see my feet.  For a large handful (pun intended) of my life, they have been large.  When I was in seventh grade, all of the kids in choir made fun of me because I refused to wear a bra until my mother tackled me down and force-fed me a training bra (I thought it was uncomfortable).  Kids in my high school nicknamed me BLT.  And it had nothing to do with my devotion to bacon, lettuce, and tomato. The acronym was for ‘Big-Lucious-Tits.”

For a long time, I believed that there was nothing positive about having big tatas.  Firstly, you can never wear skimpy clothing without looking like a slut (or risking a nipple slip).  Second, I understand men love boobs but during insecure moments I wondered if they just wanted to talk to me because they were so obnoxiously huge. And third, I was convinced come 40, I would have to tuck them in my socks or tie them over my head.

Having 34 DD’s comes with major restrictions, but I’ve learned to embrace my lovely jugs. Although I can never wear really cute, skimpy swimsuits and racy tops (out of fear I’ll immediately come off as a slut and experience generous side/under boob) I’ve found a subtly sexy way to dress myself… and my two big friends.  I’ve come to discover my own set of sexy big-boobied bras as well as the wonderful ones that minimize my lady friends.  People I just meet never know my boobs are the size of a human head until I tell them.  I’ve come to like it that way.

Oftentimes, guys don’t know what to do with them.  Sometimes, they end up grabbing them so hard mid-makeout sesh, I have bruises all over them the next day.  And when I’m working out, I don’t know what to do with them. It hurts when I go running because they are busy pummeling my chest and nearly smacking me upside the head.  To prevent it, I’ve been forced to wear (on average) three sports bras when I work out. [Editors Note: On the opposite end of the spectrum I use a little scotch tape and I'm ready for a marathon.]

Come the end of college (and when Mama’s insurance was running out), I debated getting a breast reduction.  They had yet to physically hurt me – I think my North Face backpack and Geology books beat them to that point – but one of my girlfriends had recently underwent breast reduction surgery and she did not regret it.  I saw her happy (almost to the point of being light on her feet – seriously, was she actually floating?) and I envied her.  Her boobs were the perfect size while I was busy shoving my nipples back into my bra.

But after a long, hard, topless look in the mirror, I decided against it. (Note: I also decided it was time to be more cognizant of locking my bedroom door, but that’s a whole other story.)

After struggling with accepting myself as a curvy, big-boobed lady in high school and learning how to express myself as a curvy, luscious woman in college, I realized that I actually love my boobs. Every single pound of them. As many difficulties and slight insecurities they have brought me over the years, they are a part of who I’ve become and, multiple sports bras or not, I wouldn’t have my body any other way.

Love your boobs or hate ‘em, make sure you take care of them!

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I know this sounds strange, but I think my boobs are weird. I’m way past puberty, but they look pretty much the same as they did when I was younger, only marginally bigger. The boob is cone shaped and my nipples are super light and don’t really look the same as what I see in movies/on my friends. Is there something wrong? Should all adult female breasts/nipples look the same?

A: All boobs and nipples are different. Every single one of us has boobs like snowflakes. Keep in mind that the boobs you see in movies and magazines are often the result of plastic surgery and airbrushing. If your boobs look different, you’re not alone.

I had a friend growing up who was super self-conscious about the shape of her breasts. She called the “Tube Boobs” and joked that she had to curl them up like a garden hose to put them into a bra. Inside her bra, they looked just like any other boob and no one was the wiser. There was nothing wrong with her, she just happened to be born different.

If your boobs are cone shaped, then celebrate. Woo hoo! You have cone shaped boobs! Madonna would be jealous. Honor your differences and learn to love your body just the way it is. There is nothing wrong with it and it’s those differences (yes, even nipples!) that make you uniquely beautiful.

–Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

I love my boobs!

[October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Did you know that almost 200,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer every year, and the disease takes the lives of over 40,000? Scary stuff. Awareness and funding for the disease are the keys to finding a cure, but the most important thing we can do - yes, even this young - is a monthly self-exam. So whip out that breast and check it out. And speaking of breasts...]

As a kid, there were a lot of things I was looking forward to having once I became a “grown-up” — a boyfriend, my period (I don’t know why I was looking forward to that, but I was), and getting my very own set of beautiful breasts. Not only would their arrival mean I was turning into a woman, but I felt like they would make clothes look that much better. And I guess being able to feed my future children from my body is pretty cool too.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited when the time came for my mom to buy me my very first training bra. You know the one – the sports bra looking thing that doesn’t actually do anything but make you feel older. It wasn’t until I started wearing said bra that I realized that maybe it wasn’t so much fun – and that was before there was anything to fill it out.

As puberty progressed, so did the size of my chest. I’m not saying I had the biggest bust around (just a comfortable C), but it wasn’t long before I developed a love/hate relationship with my mammaries. I started realizing the pros and cons of starting to look like a woman, including the classic “my eyes are up here.” But how do other women view their breasts? And what to men really think while they’re drooling? There’s really no other way of knowing than to straight up ask, so I questioned a few friends of mine on their favorite and least favorite thing about boobs.

Coralie – my well-endowed penpal: Big breasts are both a burden and a blessing. You always feel feminine, but tops that look cute and classy on others can look trashy on larger breasted women.

Bonnie – my best friend’s mom: I know I’m older, but there is nothing more beautiful than nursing your baby. But they can be a pain in the butt too!

Ryan – the straight guy: I love when a girl is on top and they’re so close to my face and so easy to play with. What I don’t like is that the girl doesn’t seem to like it as much as I do…

Marcus – the gay guy: My favorite thing about them, is that for me, they’re on a complete “I might look but I’d never wanna touch” scale. I mean they’re nice (when they’re proportionate to said woman’s body). I just don’t see how guys drool at the site of them and have to hide their erections just because, I don’t know, say a celebrity’s tit popped out. Because basically, they’re chests inflated with fat. That’s all. Which makes me wonder why most guys go for super models with big jugs vs. a fat chick. It’s all fat. Why does it matter where it is?

Aimee – high school friend: I like having boobs because boobs are awesome. Especially mine. Don’t ask me why, I just like having them? Downside? Um… I haven’t noticed any.

Okay, so maybe they’re not the greatest all the time. They get in the way while we’re playing sports, and they hurt us sometimes. It seems that most women have a love/hate relationship with their lady lumps, but all in all, would we really want to be without them? I think not.

Love your boobs? Hate them? Share your thoughts and feelings below. And don’t forget about that self exam!

Yet, as much as I love the strapless bra, I hate it.  The reality is that bras were made with straps for a reason and without them, it’s an epic fail waiting to happen.

While I own my fair share of so-called strapless wonders, I’m torn as to whether I really need them or not…

Love it:
There’s nothing quite as tacky as bra straps slipping out of tops.  I mean, it’s such an easy fix, so it’s annoying when people are walking around all strappy and whatnot.  I don’t care how nice your bra is, I don’t want to see the straps. And, no, those clear ones don’t cut it either.

In this regard, strapless bras work wonders.  They fit under your slinky tops without revealing to the general public that you buy your bras at Kmart (I only have, like, two from there…) AND they provide a step up from going without a bra, in that they stop the floppin’ and maybe provide some (in my case, much needed) push up action.

Also, when I first put a strapless bra on, I get to dance around and pretend I’m a burlesque performer.  Strapless bras have an aura of secret sexiness about them that makes me feel like I’m seduction on a stick.  They’re definitely a confidence booster (and my confidence definitely needs a boost once I look in the mirror and realize that my new, delicate dress really does make my arms look ginormous).

Loathe it:
Even though the straps are not there, people can tell you’re wearing a bra.  There always seems to be an annoying outline of the top of the bra that can be seen through your shirt.  Worst of all, when there are no straps involved, you have to hook that sucker even tighter around your ribcage, leading to unfortunate levels of back fat and horrible red marks/bruises when you take it off. NOT the situation you want to be in when you’re starting the sexy time (he might take it as a cue that you like pain and bring out the whips and chains…not a fun Saturday night).

Also, no matter how tightly you fasten it, the strapless bra will always need tugging up.  Tugging on your strapless bra all night = white trash fail.

I guess until I can afford something better (like fake boobs) or some wonderful lingerie scientist at Victoria’s Secret (they have those, right?) invents a perfect strapless bra, I’m stuck with the bras I have.  Worse case scenario:  I could just pull a American Apparel move and eschew the bra entirely.  In which case, I urge you all to stay away from my general part the USA to avoid the retina damage that will surely come from me walking around in a tank top/tube top/dress sans bra.

What do you think? Love or hate the strapless bra?

A study out of New Zealand found that “Sales of D to J cup sizes have increased by 53 percent over the past three years, compared to a 2 percent increase in the sales figures of AA to C-cupped bras.”

Whoa mama. That’s a lot of breast in just three years!

Many stores in England have already started responding to the increase in size demand for larger cup sizes, some even stocking up to a K-cup!

Why the sudden increase? Many claim it has to do with diet and lifestyle; the increase in obesity worldwide would naturally mean an increase in breast size. Others argue that the hormones pumped into our food (specifically milk products) could also be to blame.

Whatever the reason, though, it seems that at the rate we are going, small breasts will soon be a thing of the past, much like bell bottoms, a booming US economy, and Full House.

Except for mine, of course. I’ve been waiting for these girls to grow since the 4th grade and they just won’t budge. I’ll just take comfort in knowing that Victoria’s Secret will never run out of my bra size again.

How ’bout some new boobs?

Yeah, you heard me right – a new rack could be your solution to the no-money blues. The Sun is reporting that breast augmentation is the latest trend among the jobless. Because spending $10,000 is a great idea when you don’t have an income. The idea is that any advantage on a job interview is a good one, especially when it involves first appearances.

That’s where I get a little lost though; why would a bigger chest signify a more qualified employee?  I understand ironing your shirt or shining your shoes, but implants? Really? Major invasive cosmetic surgery is really the route you want to go to give yourself that little something extra on an interview? Color me confused, because unless you are being interviewed to become the next Playboy centerfold, I really don’t think double Ds are going to help.

I mean, I knew the job market was competitive in these trying times, but I didn’t know it was wet-t-shirt-contest competitive. Does this mean that my college education is worthless and I should have just spent my tuition on a new rack?

I think I might be depressed all over again. But believe me, I won’t be heading to my local plastic surgeon. I think I’ll just add something flashy (glitter?) to my resume.

And eat some more chocolate.

Ever since I started watching “Friends,” I always wanted a cute little coffee shop I could go to with my girlfriends, have a great cup of coffee and just chat. But Maine’s latest coffee shop gives a whole new meaning to “Central Perk.”

The planning board in Vassalboro, ME recently approved a topless coffee shop. And by topless, I don’t mean you will be sipping your mocha in a roofless establishment. By topless, I mean your helpful baristas and waitresses will indeed be topless. As in, without tops.

Yes, boobs out.

I’m all for doing what you gotta do to make money, but not when it involves nipples near my non-fat, no whip cappuccino. And isn’t there a health code against that? If you have to have your hands washed and hair covered while handling food, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t have your hoo-ha’s flopping around… and getting dangerously close to extremely hot liquids!

The shop does not allow anyone under 18 inside, and there is no touching or cameras. Also, they only accept cash (although you don’t have to stuff it in their aprons).

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely questioning what kind of milk they are putting in the lattes.

Angelina is looking freakishly plastic in London.

Check out Justin Bobby’s band on MySpace.

Out of the limelight and into the sunlight: Sarah Palin sunbathing.

Wacko sports traditions!

The perils of fashionable footwear.

Some really creative answers to the question, “What have you been smoking?”

Instant bug killer and other unconventional uses for your shampoo.

A cup size bigger for just $19.99?

Scarlett claws back at Lindsay.

Gag gifts for the holidays!

It’s not like a “before” and “after” picture. You don’t just walk into a surgeon’s office and - VOILA! - perfect boobs. Just getting to the actual surgery was a long process.]

I was a late bloomer and I can’t remember a time when I was ever “in-between.” During my sophomore year of high school, I suddenly went from not having to wear a bra to being one of the chestiest girls in my school. Might sound cool, right? Nah. I couldn’t play my favorite sports anymore, I never found tops that fit me properly and, oh yeah, have you ever met boys in high school? They’re not so subtle about pointing out your rack.

My parents and I discussed breast reduction in high school, but I wasn’t ready. Last year, I decided I was ready at age 19 and a sophomore in college. My breasts had gotten even larger after going on birth control and my spine felt like it was about to snap.

The “leg work” for the surgery was tough. I talked to my general practitioner and she agreed that it was a good idea. I got some great references through my doctor and my family’s doctor and eventually found a good surgeon. I went in for a consultation and connected fairly quickly with the plastic surgeon. He explained the procedure and the pros and cons.

My surgeon also warned me (upon me asking, “So will they look better? Are the scars going to be ugly?”): Breast reduction is NOT a cosmetic surgery, it is a corrective surgery. If you’re going into the surgery for “prettier” boobs, you might want to rethink your decision.

The consultation went well and I learned a lot about the actual surgery. Although I did get a bit weirded out when they took a picture of my ta-tas (not including my face, thank goodness) and mailed them and a letter of recommendation to my insurance company.

My reduction was approved very quickly by my insurance and then it was a waiting game until the day of the procedure. I was more and more excited each day, except when it came to the actual surgery. I started to doubt my decision and got a little neurotic about everything that could go wrong: first biggest fear? Not waking up from anesthesia. Second biggest fear? Losing a nipple (it happens!).

All that worrying was for nothing, though; I finally had my surgery about four weeks ago and I couldn’t be happier. I’m still healing – and some days are harder than others – but it’s a decision that I’m glad I made. It was perfect for me and may just be right for you. Just make sure to do the research and know exactly what you are getting yourself into.

And never, ever envy a girl with DD boobs; they aren’t as fun as you’d think.

As usual, last night’s Video Music Awards blew.  The geniuses at MTV have succeded in turning what was once a borderline semi-entertaining awards show into a series of tedious advertisements between more advertisements.  Great Job!

But despite all the foolishness, the red carpet was chock full o’ eye-catching looks… some hot, some way not.  So, rather than making you search thru all those grocery-store-checkout-line-webzines for your VMA fashion fix, we have compiled the best of the best and the best of the worst for your viewing pleasure.

BTW Pink- You saying “Lemme Check My Flow” in a song has a way different connotation than when Eminem says it… and the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

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