I am a chronic list-maker, whether I have to make a difficult decision or not.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and remember important facts and details that I need for later.  However, there are some things that I would rather forget and that’s what this week’s showdown concerns.

Reality TV shows are, in general, pretty awful.  Yes, I do get some satisfaction from seeing Speidi flail about in the jungle, but most of the satisfaction I get from reality TV comes from seeing D-list celebrities I hate fail miserably at life.  One of those D-list celebrities is Bret Michaels.   Another would be Billy Ray Cyrus (I know he’s not on a reality TV show, but it’s coming…I’m sure it’s coming).  It’s tough to say which one is more retarded, since the rate at which both losers attempt publicity stunts makes my head spin and therefore makes it hard to think clearly.  However, I’ll do my best to clear up this pressing issue. Read More »

Because wiping was so difficult before!

For all the crazy cat ladies out there – get fit!

Bret Michaels is a real martyr.

People really hate Chris Brown. Duh.

Will Ferrell can’t handle the Twitter heat.

Wow, Kate Gosselin really effed up this time.

Another new iPhone is coming!

Mel Gibson not convinced he’s the father.

The best kids shows of the 90’s.

10 really bad reality TV shows.

The hottest guys of fashion.

Bret Michaels…at the Tony Awards?!

Well, VH1 is doing it once again — making the loser of a reality dating show the star of their own show. First it was Miss New York, who lost twice on Flavor of Love only to go on and lose twice on I Love New York.  Now it’s Daisy (the freaky clingy one from Rock of Love) who’s about to try her luck with televised dating.

In case you don’t watch any of VH1’s reality shows, after doing everything (and I do mean everything) including getting her ass kicked by a past contestant to try to win Bret Michaels’s affection; Daisy was totally denied and had her little heart crushed on national TV.  Now, Daisy gets a “real” shot at love, and she’s the one with the passes in her hand this time! Bret Michaels who?

With a few seasons of VH1 reality shows under my belt, I can’t say that I didn’t see this one coming. Daisy was the same type of possessive, clingy, addicted girl as New York.  She spent most of her time on Rock of Love 2 either having sex with Bret Michaels, like New York with Flav, or crying over Bret Michaels, like New York with Flav. It was only right that she too got her own show — just like New York.

I hate to be negative, but I don’t believe one single person has found their true love through reality shows, and I’m starting to wonder if they ever really intend to. I don’t foresee Daisy’s relationship lasting after the season finale.

I do, however, foresee her show being packed with the same over-dramatic, drunk, sex-induced insanity that all the VH1 reality shows provide (thus why I adore them!).  If you loved Daisy on Rock of Love 2 or are just plain interested in getting on TV, they are doing casting on the internet.

You still have plenty of time to be a part of the VH1 madness and/or Daisy’s lover.

It’s finally happened. I’ve finally completely lost my mind.

How do I know? Because I’m really, really looking forward to this.

Yes, you understood that video correctly–there is going to be a show in which reality “stars” from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York compete for cash (specifically, $250,000). And not the actual stars. It’s going to be the doofuses (doofii?) who competed for the lame stars’ hearts. (Note: New York is not lame. New York is a marvel of nature whose delightful bizarreness I will love for always. Just so’s ya know.)

Annnnyway, let’s take a look at the cast, shall we?

Brandi C. from Rock of Love

That weird blonde chick from the first season who kept calling Bret her boyfriend is back for the moolah. Having tried porn after she got off the show (frankly, not surprising), she was ready to jump back on the screen and into our hearts. Wait, did I say hearts? I meant nightmares.

The Entertainer from I Love New York

The crazo who got kicked off the show for living with his parents is back for more. This guy was pretty freaking crazy–there was an episode where he was convinced the house was haunted, so he wouldn’t take off his construction helmet. And I mean; what those two wacko things even have to do with one another I do not know. Read More »

Don’t get me wrong, I used to be the biggest A.C. Slater fan ever. My 8-year-old self was madly in love with his chiseled abs, buff arms, and trouble-making personality. I never did understand what he saw in that goody-two-shoes, Jessie Spano. I knew he could do better than her. People magazine agreed. Mario Lopez has been named People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008.

People got a few things horribly wrong on their list. It is obvious that someone (or everyone) in the office was on the hippie hash when this list was being made. I mean, what ever happened to the good old days of George Clooney and Justin Timberlake? Not on the list this year. No, my friends. 2008’s list included these people: Read More »

Rock of Love; can you believe people are still actually talking about it? Well, I can…because I am still talking about it. Looks like Ambre wants the world to know that she and Bret are definitely together . And when she says definitely, she really means maybe. After the whole “I can’t believe I told Bret that I’m 31 and not 85″ fiasco, I can’t quite trust her.

Then again, considering that she has taken the time to respond to Daisy’s TMZ “Bret and I hung out and didn’t talk” video, maybe I should believe her this time.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind….

First of all, I love that TMZ would even waste a camera on Daisy. Where does one find Daisy during the day?

Second, I’m pretty sure Ambre’s too old to be sharing news on Myspace. Isn’t there a site for old people (like Friendster?) And, don’t you work in entertainment? I thought you had a show. Use that as your vehicle, Geritol.

Finally, knowing what I know about, A) Bret and Ambre, and B) The history of I-Am-Going-On-TV-To-Find-My-True-Love TV show romances (The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Flavor of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila) the Bret/Ambre (Brambre?) relationship will self-destruct in another 4 minutes; which, not so coincidentally, is how much longer the two of them can ride the Rock of Love fame train.

[Photo courtesy of realitywanted.com]

I consider myself to be relatively fashion forward. Not to the degree where I mimic everything I wear from the latest episode of Project Runway, but I would like to think I have a nice healthy happy-medium of trendy and classic.

I am not however, a very adventurous dresser. But today as I am getting ready for a little BBQ with some friends, I am in an appearance crisis—my hair looks heinous.

It’s the weather, and the fact that I am in dire need of a trim, and that I am out of my obsession/necessity to live, Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. But no matter the excuses, my hair looks horrid, and I am just not willing to show up with my hair in a messy bun again, nor do I own a baseball hat.

I cannot justify pulling a Britney Spears solution to this hot-mess of hair and shaving it off, (mostly because tomorrow I swear I’ll buy more Super Skinny Serum and the world will be right again) but I also cannot leave the house looking like this.

As I searched my apartment for anything to be used to hiding my hair, I looked fondly over to my really cute Lilly Pulitzer bandanas, which I bought because they were so damn cute, yet a year later still have yet to find a use for them. Read More »

Yeah, I do not concur with Bret on that.

I missed the first four minutes of the show but that doesn’t matter because my Trantastique is back with the subtitles! I’ve missed her so. Aubrey calls her a man and Bret insists that Trantastique is all woman which is kind of terrfying if you think about how up close you know Bret got to that. Poor thing had to quit stripping because everyone just wanted to talk to her and wouldn’t let her take off her clothes. I would want to just talk to her, too. She gives Bret a last lap dance and I am overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness. Read More »

Last time: we found out that Daisy is a stripper and Jessica went home.

Morning: everyone is back at the house quietly eating breakfast. Destiney isn’t wearing make up and she looks fantastic without it. Big John comes in with three buckets for them to clean the house because someone they know is coming. Daisy is cleaning in a half shirt. Of course she is.

Doorbell rings and it’s parent time. Ambre’s dad is the first to arrive and they hug like she’s coming home from war. Bret got his hair blown out and flat ironed and he desperately needs a bandana. At least a real parent showed up for her this time.

Destiney’s parents come. She’s wearing a pink hat but no make up so I’ll forgive the stupid hat.

Daisy’s been on her own since she was 15 so instead of parents, Stephanie, Daisy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister, shows up for her. Are you kidding? Bret is clearly not thrilled. Read More »