If you’re as addicted to caffeine as I am, you are probably broke (not to mention a real gem in the early morning hours). But, like any good junkie, you’re more than willing to flip the couch cushions in search of a few quarters, or sell your kidney to pay for a grande White Chocolate Mocha on your way to school.
I have to admit, I’m a huge Starbucks fan, and am usually fine with shelling out a few extra dollars to indulge in something tastier than Folgers. Still, I need a new winter wardrobe… so I’m weaning myself off of overpriced coffee drinks (that taste like dessert) and makin’ my coffee at home.
I know it’s a bold move, but after playing around a bit I have learned a few things: 1) Making your own coffee can save you billions, and 2) It is really, really easy. Here are a few tips:
1. Flavor it Up.
Whenever I make my own coffee, no matter how good the brand, or how carefully I measure the coffee-to-water ratio, it always seems to taste like dirt. My solution? Flavor, flavor, flavor. Syrup, syrup, Equal, syrup. Seriously, who just gets a latte from Starbucks? Everyone has their signature: the Pumpkin Latte, Caramel Macchiato, White Chocolate Mocha…what do they have in common? Manufactured taste. Instead of shelling out $4-$5 a day for Starbucks, buy a bottle of Torani Syrups. This brand is used in tons of coffee shops across the country, so you might not even taste the difference. Read More »
WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.
And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.
What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?
Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?
Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?
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Friday night: You’re at a crowded bar, and have to pee. Fearing the toilet seat, you pop a squat, clench your thigh muscles and hold onto the walls while you unleash your last five beers. You make sure you wash your hands (sometimes twice, depending on how filthy the pub is), and maybe even reach into your purse for some hand sanitizer, just to be safe.
Saturday night: You’re at a frat party. You just won three consecutive games of beer pong. You don’t think twice about drinking your cups, despite the fact that you’ve seen the ball land in other peoples’ used cups, roll along the basement floor, and watched the ball pass between thirty-something unwashed hands.
What gives?!?
Obviously, beer pong isn’t the most sanitary party game out there. But you have the “water cup,” right? That cup of tepid, dirty water is totes gonna disinfect that old, recycled ping pong ball (that was most likely found under someone’s bed 10 minutes before party time). Or not.
Some microbiology students at George Washington University decided to test exactly how detrimental to your health beer pong can be. If you like beer pong, you may want to skip this article.Read More »
I opened the fridge and there stood a Bud Light Lime—a new beer from Budweiser!? Fancy. My roommate is the best. And no, I wasn’t reluctant; I twisted off the top with a swoop of my palm like I knew what I was doing. Lucky for me, it was indeed a twist off. Otherwise, that could have been painful.
Down it went. Nice.
I love nothing more than a Summer beer; they are perfectly light and not too filling. Not that I have anything against Winter brews – I really am an equal opportunity beer drinker – but no one wants to walk around feeling bloated. Especially in a pair of skinny jeans.
Now that summer is here, it is time to enjoy the best beers this season has to offer. Get those shorts out, maybe some bikinis, strike up that BBQ and run in a sprinkler. All with a frosty brew. Don’t know which ones to try? Here are some of my all time favorites:
Pyramid Apricot Weizen Ale
This beer goes well with a chicken sandwich, or if you have a bit of sweet tooth. It’s not too sweet however…no promotion for gut rot here my friends.
Bud Light Lime
I feel like it tastes like Corona–you just don’t have to buy the limes.
Miller Chill
Sorry, but I was born in raised in Wisco; it’s my duty to represent. Read More »