Question?! Answer. Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
What’s up!? I love your column; I always find myself in line with your advice and generally agreeing.  Well, now I have my own situation and I have never been good at giving myself advice or seeing my own situation clearly so here goes. Tell it to me like it is:

Ten months ago I met the best guy I have ever been with. After a first “date” and a visit from him, he asked me out.  We started dating and did the LDR thing (2 hrs away) for eight months; we fell in love and he told me he loved me after three months of dating.

Which brings me to now.  We just broke up and it has been so hard.  It was somewhat mutual; two weeks ago we were talking on the phone and he brought up something I wrote in his Valentine’s Day card, which was: I can’t wait till we grow up and get to see each other more.  Something along those lines.  He thought I meant forever but I hadn’t been thinking that far ahead and I just meant when I graduated (two months) and wasn’t working two jobs.  Then he said something about how he wants to move across the country eventually and how we probably wouldn’t be together forever. I responded, What’s the point of dating now, then, if you know at some point you don’t want to be with me/break up with me?  He got really emotional and I think he was crying and said he didn’t want to break up with me and he loves me.

Fast forward a week later: he breaks up with me for not having enough time for me, which I understand. He has a lot on his plate – full course load, involved in a lot at school, internship.  He said he felt selfish but just doesn’t have the time.  It’s been a few days now since the break-up and I asked him if we would ever get back together again in the future and he said he can’t answer that; he just doesn’t know what will happen.  It’s been really tough and I just don’t know what to do.  He said he wants to stay friends.  Should I bother?  Should I  not text him?  The days after the break up I did the typical thing of texting him and asking if there was any solution, blah blah blah, to which he just says he doesn’t have time for a relationship and it’s bad timing.  Did I blow it by texting him? Right now I’m trying to not contact him to “make” him miss me.

The thing that sucks is he dumped me a week away from my birthday and I know he bought me a present, so it seems to me he hadn’t been thinking this for a long time.  Anyways what do I do? Is there something I’m not seeing?  Do you think he met someone else? I just want to be with him.  Do I keep in contact or will that just hurt more?

I’m afraid if we get back in the future I won’t be able to forgive him for doing this so close to my birthday or if he sleeps with someone else, I would be devastated.

Sincerely,
I Thought Love Conquered All? Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. And this month Meredith is giving up junk food. Yes, really. Her first week was good. Great, even. Then life got in the way. This week, she's turning things around.]

I ate mozzarella sticks. And I’m not ashamed.

Not much has changed since my tough week last week. I’m still adjusting to the single life, which I love more and more every day.  The nausea is the only thing that has really persisted, which means that I will unfortunately probably have to see a doctor just to make sure that nothing is medically wrong with me. Though I’m convinced it’s nothing more than the residual effects of Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Ew, I don’t even like thinking about it. Even if she was wearing a lean protein.

So finally on Tuesday, I felt up for a late night snack at the dining hall. The good news is the mozzarella sticks smelled like heaven. The bad news is they definitely did nothing for my post-breakup bouts of nausea. I could have sworn that they would have healing powers, that I’d take one bite and instantly feel happy and free and content. But alas, I woke up the next morning as sick as ever. I’m definitely not mad at myself for eating them, though. If everything this month had gone according to plan and I was eating like Jillian Michaels every day, then I probably would be pissed at myself for eating disgusting fried cheese mid-month. But, that’s not the case and if anything, I needed the calories. Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month we followed Ariel as she went a(n almost) full month sans Facebook. This month Meredith is giving up junk food. Yes, really. Her first week was good. Great, even. This week, though, life sorta got in her way....]

I had a vision in my head for how this month would go. I would give up junk food, be healthier, maybe slip up once or twice, but succeed overall. I would end the month being skinny, beautiful, and confident. My life situation would remain the same; it would be ME that changed.

I made a very big lapse in judgment. As Knocked Up taught us, “life doesn’t care about your plans.”

My boyfriend and I broke up Saturday night. I WOULD publicize all of the fun details, but Destiny’s Child put it best when they said, “You know I’m not gonna diss you on the Internet, cause my momma told me better than that.” Now, before you start to pity me, don’t. I am much happier and I have so many amazing people around me constantly. I adore being single again (some think maybe even too much…).

But I do have a confession. My friend and I ate some ice cream on Saturday night. The truth is that it didn’t make anything better, obviously. We ended up walking four miles that night on our quest for lots of fresh air, which, in my opinion, cancels out the ice cream. Judge for yourself. I immediately was junk-food-free again on Sunday. Read More »

So, I’m dealing with a really bad breakup right now. No, my boyfriend didn’t dump me – that would require me to have had a boyfriend in the first place. But my very good guy friend did dump his very serious girlfriend and now I’m left in the middle.

They have been dating for nearly a year and in that time I’ve grown quite close to the GF. We hung out a lot as a group and as things got more serious, I began to hang out with her independently. We’d see movies, do girl dinners and spend long hours at the library studying and making fun of her boyfriend.

And then last week, he up and broke up with her. She was shocked. I was shocked. We were all left with a lot of questions, mine being what I’m supposed to do now. Read More »

This has been a rough month. On top of approaching midterms, stress over summer internship plans, and the most awful Political Science professor known to mankind (he legitimately looks like a cartoon character, has the intelligence of an action figure, and wears his cell phone around his neck on a rope…), it seems like half of my school has recently been broken up with. Yes, apparently Break Up Season has officially begun, and as a result four of my best girlfriends are in varying degrees of ending relationships!

Since we returned from winter break, I have been in red alert nurturing mode, making sure that chocolate, ice cream, and Sex in the City episodes are all abundant for the initial mourning process for my girls. My phone, which usually I can never even find, is on uber loud at all hours so I can be there for the melt-downs at all times. When the grieving stage has passed, I’ve been there to make sure that the random rebound hook-ups (inspired by one too many whiskey sours) don’t turn into even bigger mistakes. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.  We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s one of those debates that has raged for… well, for as long as human beings have done the date and break-up thing. Is fooling around with an ex strictly off limits or a little habit that’s OK to indulge in?

As much as we all wish that our exes would be magically transported to some remote island in the Pacific (ok, maybe the Arctic – why should they get a tropical vacation?),  just like a bad penny, they have a bad habit of turning up again, usually when you’re not wearing makeup. If you have the same friends or go to the same school, odds are good that you are going to run into that old flame somewhere and you know how it is with old flames; they tend to catch fire all over again.

It’s easy to fall back into things with an ex; after all, there was a reason you were together in the first place, right? Plus, you know each other, you know the likes and dislikes and there’s none of the awkward “just starting out” stuff. You get to enjoy all of the heat and passion of doing something taboo, with someone who knows how to “do” you right. Read More »

It may not be mature, but making your ex jealous is just so gratifying. Especially when they cheated on you with some ugly tramp and tore out your heart, stomped on it, threw it in a blender and chugged it.

Ok, so I’m a little bitter. And nothing goes better with bitter than a little revenge. In the form of torture. That involves a tight black dress or a very public makeout sesh with a very good looking stranger.

We received an email this week from a reader who was just dumped by her douchbag (ex) boyfriend. So, in order to help her move on to bigger and better dudes we asked our writers to tell us their favorite methods for making their exes green with envy. Read on for the best tips and tricks that will bring anyone down.

Megan – Brown University: I’m definitely of the don’t get mad, get even, school of thought (not sure I should be proud of that…). Anyway, for Halloween one year, I went to a party at his place dressed to kill in a little black dress and sky-high heels (as a trophy wife, naturally), where I ignored him and danced with his roommate. It worked, my ex noticed…he squeaked (which may have been an attempt at speech), turned and ran, leaving me with the roommate and the ensuing awkwardness…

Julia – UC Berkeley: I took risque pictures (yes, there were clothes involved) with my best friend’s brother, then put them a place that I knew my ex would find them. I’m pretty sure he cried. Read More »

The Exsex was something that had been on my mind all week this week. To have great sex so easily and without any emotional cost or expectation on behalf of either person…it sounded like such a glamorous and hot way to bypass all of the bullsh*t I hate that normally has to take place on the path toward getting laid.

I eventually had to weigh the pros and cons.

PROS

The sex with Brian would be wonderful.

Brian is incredibly well-endowed (adding to the wonderfulness of it).

It would be easy. He would be leaving town the next morning.

CONS

He would be 45 miles away.

The weather got crappy.

The two of us having real privacy would be a gambling game.

And still, the biggest question lingered in my mind:

Would it really be sex without strings attached? Read More »

Brian and I broke up under relatively ridiculous terms. We were in the midst of a long distance relationship. A passionate one.

We both got wasted one night and in a fight via text message. And that led to a fight via telephone. And that led to me texting him: “We’re Over“. And then we were.

Like some sort of f*cked up magic trick, I pulled the ‘We’re over!’ card out of my black hat and POOF…our relationship went silent. On the morning after, I woke up so hungover that I didn’t really recall what had happened the night before..until I read my text messages. And apparently, he woke up in the same scenario. But neither one of us made the effort to fix the damage we had done. I think it was because we both knew deep down that we were not right for each other, anyway. Read More »