Who else was mad when Dane Cook didn’t get nominated for an Oscar for Employee of the Month? I wasn’t mad either. When Dane Cook first stepped into the limelight, I’ll admit that I thought he was funny. Then something happened. I would watch one of his specials on TV, and then the next day in class I would feel like I was watching it over and over again. Every fratty bro felt the need to repeat Dane Cook quotes over and over and over and over.

So maybe it’s not fair that I don’t like Dane Cook because he annoys me. He really isn’t the annoying one. It’s all the bros (and girls that want to be like bros) who are annoying. I think a comedian’s jokes should only be allowed to be said by the comedian, because they are obviously the funny one. Not the frat guy toasting to Dane Cook before shot-gunning a beer. So maybe I’ll give Dane another chance next year, because love him or hate him, he will be back on our TVs.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t for anyone who attends a dry campus. If your school doesn’t allow alcoholic beverages anywhere on your campus, even for those old enough to drink, then your school is lame and I’m sorry you chose to go there. You can click the little red X in the top right hand corner of your screen now. For those of you who attend a party school: this is for you!

The Princeton Review recently published their rankings for the top 20 party schools in the U.S. Lots of the schools chosen also made the lists for other rankings such as “lots of beer” “jock schools” and “lots of hard liquor.” We at College Candy decided that those ingredients listed are obvious, but they aren’t detailed enough to create the best party schools.  If your school didn’t make the list this year, that’s okay. We’re  giving you the top 7 Ingredients For a bomb Party School! Read More »

For all the dudes out there that can’t stand poetry, there’s a new art form for you. It’s called Broetry. Yes, poems for bros. Popular broet Brian McGackin has compiled a collection of his own works in a book cunningly titled Broetry, which he calls a “literary chili cheeseburger.”

Now that broetry is taking the literary world by storm, I’ve taken it upon myself to write a broem of my own. This is broetry is its purest form, for the bros, about the bros. I give you, Ode to the Bro Style. *dims lights*

This is a broem about your (campus) style, bros. Particularly, you Sloppy Joes.
We love the clothes you wear, just not the way you wear ‘em.
It’s hard for us to say anything, ’cause then you’ll throw a tantrum.
Your shirt’s a little dingy and your pants are always saggy
Don’t think I haven’t noticed, wearing belts just makes you aggy.

You’re pretty keen on chest thumps, finger foods and bars
Yet your decision making skills are far too often below par.
I know you felt the beer dripping down your face that evening
But somehow you still missed the connection between the stained shirt and a good cleaning.
The sniff and fold the next morning seemed logical to you
After a night filled with stumbling girls and cologne that (now) smells of brew. Read More »

[After four years of writing in our undies, we've accumulated a lot of great content on CollegeCandy. I realized this when I was reading the site the other night....also in my undies. So many awesome posts get forgotten, so we decided it was time to bring 'em back. Every Friday we'll be posting some old faves - posts that have made us think, posts that have made us aware and posts that have made us nod our heads in that "we totes get that" sort of way. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and enjoy.]

Those lovable bros over at BroBible.com have once again attempted to tarnish the sterling facades us girls put up just to please them (riiiight…).  The latest topic up for debate: The 15 Most Common Ways Girls Try to Look Hotter on Facebook. From butts out to boobs smooshed, they’re calling us out on all our “tricks” of the online trade.

Well guys, a little of our own light research has gone a long way.  Turns out you’re guilty of posting some overused, Brolicious pics yourselves.  Need proof?  Just go through your tagged photos and see if you’re guilty of any of these thirteen major offenses:

initiating the gallery...

[This story was originally posted by Alex - University of South Carolina.]

There’s an app for that.

For what? Well, just about everything these days. From finding the perfect shirt to getting directions to that restaurant you’ve only ever been to once to planning your wedding. There’s an app for it.

And most of the time, I think that’s a good thing. I pride myself on welcoming new technology, embracing these changes and seeing them as good technological advancements, rather than unnecessary complications. But today I just might have to make an exception. Because after spending some time in the app store I’ve made some discoveries that have led me to question not only my love of technology, but my love of humanity.

Have you seen what’s out there? It’s okay if you haven’t. Because I’ve brought it here for you. Partly to inform you, but also so you can commiserate with me. These are the apps our guys are downloading? No wonder they screw up so often!

1. Breastimate. An app that can tell you the bra size of every women in the room. You can either upload a picture, if you’re really curious about an old flame, or take a photo right there on the spot. Just point and click and there you have it. A “breastimated” bra size.

Read More »

January’s Glamour cover claims that it’s the happy issue. Coincidentally, this is one of the lightest mags I’ve ever picked up. I found this issue uninspired at worst and bland at best. It felt like a compilation of articles that were (understandably) scrapped for previous issues, but then last month rolled around and everyone decided that finding the perfect gifts was way more important than writing decent(ly mockable) material.

Even the article that had the most potential (“What Do You Call Your Genitalia”) is just pathetic – one woman’s boyfriend actually said “all men have iPads and women are just their charging docks.” And no, she didn’t dump him. Conveniently, two pages after this charming anecdote is “In Defense of Jerks,” a piece written by Glamour’s resident guy (obvs inferior to Our Dude) who writes a few hundred words basically pleading for us to forgive guys for being clueless and socially inept. No thank you.

I must admit, I was tickled by this totally bro-tastic piece surveying guys asking them to share their sexytime New Year’s Resolutions. Hilarity ensues.

Glamour bro says: Tantric sex.
Jasmine says: I will never understand the appeal of a never ending (8 hours) sex session. I mean, I like f*cking as much as the next girl, but who has the attention span these days? Tantric sex seems to be a relic of the old days, pre iPhones and DVDs.

Glamour bro says: No more drama.
Jasmine says: When a dude says no drama, it’s code for “I don’t want a girl who will call me out on my shenanigans.”

Read More »

The following is a guest post by professional funny man and CollegeCandy friend, Aaron Karo. Read, laugh, learn a few things.

I’m often referred to as a “guy’s guy.” I like drinking and sports and hanging with the fellas. My third book, which is about being single when all your friends are couples, is entitled I’m Having More Fun Than You and features me on the cover with five models. This Friday, November 19th, Comedy Central is premiering my first one-hour stand-up special, AARON KARO: THE REST IS HISTORY (with an album by the same name dropping November 20th). My show is all about the glory of bachelorhood and sleeping around. You know, guy stuff. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret: the majority of my fans are female.

That’s right, roughly 65-70% of my audience members and mailing list subscribers are girls. Why? Because I tell it like it is. I don’t pull punches. I reveal what’s really going on inside the pea-size brain of the common man. And so that’s what I’m going to do today: drop a little knowledge for you, the very lovely readers of CollegeCandy. Here’s what’s gonna happen. First, read my Top Ten Misconceptions About Guys. Then, watch my Comedy Central Special (November 19th) and buy my album (November 20th). After all that, you’ll be prepared for anything. Here we go…

Top Ten Misconceptions About Guys, by Aaron Karo

1. We’re beer experts.
You know when you walk into one of those bars that has, like, six hundred beers on tap and your boyfriend squints his eyes while he reviews them all and nods knowingly as the bartender rattles of a list of vaguely German-sounding ales until he confidently choose one? He has no f**king clue what he’s talking about. He’s just trying to impress you and hopes what he picked tastes like Coors Light.

2. We’re knowledgeable about your menstrual cycle.
In order to fend off his advances, a girl once told my buddy she had her period three different times within a month. It actually worked. Read More »

To say that frat guys don’t have the best reputation is like saying that that I only kinda like Diet Coke. From movies to TV shows to their very own indiscretions (like the most recent events at Yale), on a scale of douchebaggery, they fall somewhere between Spencer Pratt and Tiger Woods.

But is that a fair assessment or have we been judging these guys wrong all along? Could there be an unfair stigma against fraternity boys? It’s hard to tell when you’re looking in from the outside, so we thought we’d ask the people who know best: a group of sorority women.

Unlike most college students whose only interaction with frat stars is at a Pimps and Hos party, sorority women know these men on a deeper level. So what do they have to say about frat guys? Read More »

Those lovable bros over at BroBible.com have once again attempted to tarnish the sterling facades us girls put up just to please them (riiiight…).  The latest topic up for debate: The 15 Most Common Ways Girls Try to Look Hotter on Facebook. From butts out to boobs smooshed, they’re calling us out on all our “tricks” of the online trade.

Well guys, a little of our own light research has gone a long way.  Turns out you’re guilty of posting some overused, Brolicious pics yourselves.  Need proof?  Just go through your tagged photos and see if you’re guilty of any of these thirteen major offenses:

Read More »

What up, brah?

Every week, I write a list. Definitely not a to-do list (because it’s not satisfying checking “browse J.Crew’s website” and “Re-watch every episode of Rachel Zoe” off a list) and not “that list” (because I haven’t added to that list… in forever), but rather a list of whatever is relevant and weighing heavy on the CollegeCandy readers’ minds (or just mine) right now. This week? I’m all about the bros.

Love ‘em, hate ‘em, or love to Ice ‘em, bros are weighing heavy on CollegeCandy’s mind lately. Look no further than your local college campus or frat party to find the bro of your dreams. I think what’s so great about bros is that you just have such a diversity. From frat bros to sensitive guitar-playing bros to the chill smoker bro, there’s a bro for everyone.

But bros aren’t just creepin’ around your campus. Nope, you can even find them everywhere you turn in popped collar culture. They’re officially taking over the world….and I like it. In fact, here are ten of my faves.

10. Brett Favre: The Egomaniacal Athlete Bro.
A bro until retirement. Or  not. Or retirement again. Or not.

9. Nate from Gossip Girl (Chace Crawford): Trust Fund Manhattan Bad-Boy Bro
So maybe Nate is a bit more girly than your average bro, but you better believe with that slamming athletic bod, penchant for trouble and prepster style, he’s our choice Upper East Side bro. Plus, he’s totally got a secret, tortured edge to him.

8. Don Draper from Mad Men (Jon Hamm): Playboy Ad Exec in the ’60s Bro
Gotta love a bro who can drink during the day, schmooze with other bros and womanize like nobody’s business. It’s okay, it was the ’60s; that sort of thing doesn’t happen nowadays. Right? Read More »