[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“I hated the f**king noodle dance! I don’t need to do a dance when I get an idea – f**k you! That’s why you’re otters! If you were smarter, you’d be a more highly evolved mammal! And you wouldn’t need to break sh*t on your stomachs to eat it!”

“So we’re gonna put the thing there.”

“No, we can’t put the thing there, you a**holes!”

“Why are we a**holes, Steve, why are we a**holes? You think we’re a**holes because we can’t put the thing where you want.”

“Dude, it’s the f**king thing! It has to go there! A**hole.”

“That’s not a deer, that’s an ingénue!”

“Yo, Team Food Butthole stinks. Team Food A**hole is Awesome!” Read More »

We all know that hooking up isn’t all rose petals and follow-up phone calls. In fact, more often than not, the morning can be excruciatingly awkward. Sometimes, that awkwardness follows you down your walk of shame, and lingers like a black cloud over your relationship history.

You might be able to laugh off some of these poor decisions, but in other cases, you might reap the consequences, especially if your fling affects the people around you. Here are some awkward hook up scenarios that you may just wish to avoid in the future.

1. Your Best Friend’s Brother.

Usually, you give your best friend all of the deets regarding your trysts, and she listens, and laughs, and offers advice when necessary. No can do when you’ve crossed the line into sibling snogging. Your best friend doesn’t want to picture her brother in any type of sexual situation. If the hook up turns into something more, congratulations, but you’re still not going to be able to share certain details, because the guy won’t want you gossiping to his sister, and your friend won’t want to hear it. Dating the brother might also strain your friendship, depending on whether your friend resents your decision. Read More »

If you’re anything like me, you have a brother (or two, or…god help you, three), and every year it’s pretty impossible to figure out what to get them for Hanukkah or Christmas. You slide subtle hints into IM conversations, use your parents for help, even flat out ask them “what the hell do you need??!”, but sometimes to The Bro is so illusive, you just want to slam some money down in front of him and shout get your own present!!

Coming in at a close second in the gift-giving challenge is the BF. Sure, you love him. Sure, he knows you better than most people. But finding a gift he’ll like because it’s cool, and not just because you’re his girlfriend? Tough.

In case you haven’t reached your breaking point yet (I know Hanukkah is almost over, but there’s still time!), I’m compiled a list of presents the Bro and the Beau might like. It’s always hard to tell with these strange specimens, but hey, even if they scrunch their face up again this year…at least you tried. Besides, they’re been giving you shit from The Body Shop for years. Teach them through example about branching out.

• Charles & Marie Dosh Wallet ($60) – compact, manly, and oh-so-full of special pockets, this wallet is a lot better than that ratty, duct-taped thing he’s been carrying around for years. It’s a little expensive, but just think of it as payback for that time you stuck gum in your Bro’s hair or ‘accidentally’ told your friends about the Beau’s bedroom ‘issues’.

• Dakine Plaid Backpack ($59.50) – it’s really hard to hate on a backpack, especially one that’s so nondescript and cool. Plus, he can carry his laptop and snowboard / skateboard around wherever he goes. Read More »