And none of these things have anything to do with nacho cheese or buffalo wing sauce. My fate is sealed, but I hope someone out there gets to enjoy them.

1. It’s baaaaaaack! PUPPY BOWL V. Five years ago, a tradition was born. An adorable, adorable tradition. The stars, as you may have guessed, are not Steelers, not Cardinals; just puppies. These puppies romp on a faux football field, not so much in teams but as an every-puppy-for-himself sort of gameplay. Puppies of all breeds and sizes tussle, tug at toys, and are penalized for bad behavior by referees in full black and white uniform. And the half-time show? Kitties. Not even kidding. It’s been growing in popularity every year, but after the raging public love for the Shiba Inu puppy cam, I can’t imagine it’s going to be anything but a smashing success.

2. Take advantage of the ubiquitous jam-packed parties – by being elsewhere. Shopping with room to breathe sounds nice. Rumor has it that Circuit City is going out of business and Superbowl Sunday is probably the ONE day where electronics-crazed men will be fully occupied elsewhere. Missed a movie in Oscar contention? Get thee to an uncrowded movie theater, and relax in warm, comfortable quiet.

3. On the most testosterone charged day of the year, go girly. Since the men in your life get to spend the day painting their faces, bond with some similarly disinterested girlfriends over the time tested Sunday brunch/mani-pedi combo. Enjoy a mimosa, catch up with your nearest and dearest, and soak in that glorious Sunday feeling, while soaking your February chilled feet in that amazing spa-pedicure tub.

4. Make a difference! Souperbowl of Caring is a movement dedicated to mobilizing youth to fight hunger and poverty in their local communities. They have simple forms and materials to arrange your own Souperbowl of Caring event, to help collect food and money on Superbowl weekend, and 100% of the proceeds are dedicated to a charity of your choosing. It’s a chance for you to make a difference, and occupy yourself when your friends are all screaming at the TV. It’s a win-win!

Even though hardcore fans have a hard time believing it, the Superbowl isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re hunting for ways to get out of your house while the scent of Coors Light lingers in the air, I hope these help. And don’t worry, you can always watch the commercials and half-time show later. Thanks, YouTube!