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Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a high school junior who’s been having a bit of a problem. I sit in class with 5 guys in my chemistry class who constantly tease me. I’m the only girl on the left side of the room. Sometimes I don’t say anything, and they just start making fun of me. I get the fact that high school boys are immature, and that girls tend to be more mature at the age of 16.  Sometimes I try to defend myself, but no one can hear it over the 5 guys that are laughing in my face. All of my friends tell me they like me, but I don’t trust their judgment. Are they really making fun of me, or are they just doing it to grab my attention? Do I seem like someone vulnerable to them as a person to make fun of? How do I make them see me in a different light?

Thanks, Tuffy!

-Private Prep Girl

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Although the President of a college or university is the top administrator in charge (on campus – the Board of Trustee’s usually has equal power, in general), they are usually the last person to hear about a problem.

Proper protocol is usually required to get to the bottom of a situation. Sometimes you have to start with an RA or the Dean of Students; each issue has its own designated driver to get to the bottom of what’s going on. However, when you reach the end of the line and nothing is solved, going past the usual set of rules and skipping to the top becomes the only option if you want action!

After going all freshman year without much success from the Dean of Students and the Housing and Residence Life, my mom and I decided to set some time aside to schedule a meeting with the President of my university in hopes to get everything sorted out. Eager to put an end to the continual issues that beleaguered me throughout my first two semesters in college, I expected results and an apology from my university’s president.

Before going into the meeting I compiled a list of all the things that happened and how they were handled. I remember looking down at the list as we walked into her large office thinking that it really was one thing too many. As my mother and I spoke openly about my experience at Hollins and the issues that I have seen on campus such as bullying, harassment, and the roommate debacle I survived, President Gray (a very cheerful, articulate, and warm woman) sat across from us with a look of disbelief on her face. In telling her about the botched responsibilities of the Student Life administration, she spoke about not knowing these issues beset her campus. Apologizing for the terrible experience I have had on the campus, President Gray looked forward to making my university a better place with input on how to improve. Read More »

College pranks generally include duct taping someone’s door, moving a school mascot across campus to another location, writing dirty messages in chalk throughout a parking lot, posting fake fliers for crazy sex parties, and maybe even sometimes, throwing tar on a fraternities front lawn at 4am. What about the word “bitch” being written over and over again on someone’s whiteboard? Does that count as a prank? If that counts, where is the line drawn?

As I danced through (and let me say, there was a lot of dancing on the weekends) my spring semester of freshman year, everything came to a screeching halt when I returned from class one day with the word bitch written in big letters across my whiteboard. My first intention was that my friends did it as a joke – no big deal. But when I asked them about it, they had no idea what I was talking about.

And then it happened again. And again. And nearly every time I left my room. It turned into this monotonous cycle, where bitch turned into other words, and when I say ‘other’ words I am talking about every negative synonym under the sun. Then messages were left letting me know that I was disliked, “hated” in fact, around campus. My door decorations disappeared or were ripped up. My name was even blacked out on the community bulletin board for my hall. Eventually, my whiteboard disappeared into the grungy abyss of my neon green hallway. Every time I shut my door or pretty much blinked, I had to prepare myself with what would be there next. Read More »

I don’t know about you, but growing up, I was definitely not confident.

Most of my insecurities stemmed from the fact that I was deemed “gifted” in grade 2 and taken out of class for one day every two weeks for enrichment activities. Since I was only 7 at the time, no one, including myself and my teachers, hid this from the other kids and, for a couple years, I didn’t see any need to. I was still a normal student, only I got to do harder schoolwork.

Then grade 5 rolled around and my teacher basically created an entirely separate curriculum for me, segregating me from all my classmates. And that’s when the bullying started. I’ll spare you the story, but basically my friends abandoned me, calling me a “freak.” I know now that this was only out of jealousy, but up until recently, it hurt. As a result of this, until grade 10 I was content to be quiet, simply finishing my work and not really getting involved for fear of ridicule. I even pulled out of the gifted program for a while in an attempt to fit in.

And then in grade 10, something happened. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment or reason, but I decided to get involved. I joined our student council’s cabinet and attended a 4-day leadership conference and slowly but surely began building my confidence. I made friends within student council and leadership groups who were like me; smart, motivated and, honestly, a little bit weird. Read More »