You know what I'd be thankful for? If Swine Flu wiped out the cast of The Hills.

Every week I write a list. Some people say I’m like David Letterman, only without that whole sexual scandal thing. Or gray hair. Or late night talk show. So, really, the only thing that D.L. and I have in common is our love of a Top 10 List. And what’s not to love? That’s why I bring ‘em to you every week. The real deal. The good stuff. The world’s most important issues.

You know, like stupid celebrities and things that piss me off on Facebook.

This week, in light of the upcoming treasured holiday, I started thinking about all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for: my family, the boy, YSL lipstick and, of course, the inevitable huge delicious meal my mama’s going to prepare this week. But that’s all kinda boring. I mean, who isn’t thankful for YSL lipstick family? So instead, I decided to count down the 10 things I’m un-thankful for this holiday season (or any season, for that matter).

10. The Swine
H1N1 or any other strain of the flu that everyone seems to have caught this year. Stay away.

9. Speidi
I don’t know how many times I can say it.

8. The Bump-it
I’m over this look, and what the hell? How is this a real thing?

7. Any douchey daddy drama in the celeb world.
I’m looking at you, Michael Lohan

6. Ugg boots
I don’t care that they’re comfy. They’re hideous and o-v-e-r. Read More »

You know what turns me on? Maintaining my bikini line.

Ok, so maybe not (and maybe that’s about the only thing that doesn’t these days….), but I do get a bit rowdy for two-in-one products. You know: shampoo AND conditioner, moisturizer AND SPF, a friend AND benefits…

And now I can add razor AND vibrator to the list.

Yes, shaving that bikini line just got a lot more fun. The people over at Tinge have just created the ultimate shower product for women: a water proof razor for trimming your nether regions that also acts as a shower rockin’ vibrator when the cap is on.

Be still my heart.

Not only does this puppy do double duty downtown, but anyone who sees it laying around your apartment won’t give you the “Aw, you have to do it yourself?” look or, worse, the “Lauren, what is this?” question as you turn around and see your mother holding your Pocket Rocket in her hand. It is a razor, after all, and that’s exactly what it looks like.

Oh and did I mention that it also boasts 32 speed/mode combinations?

This thing is seriously the best invention since the Bumpit. Goodbye bikini waxes and hellooooo shower time.