It’s 4:30am. You just got home from the bar and all you want is food. In your belly. Right now.

Unfortunately, your favorite pizza/ burrito/ burger/ neighborhood CVS closed 30 minutes ago and you are left to fend for yourself. Right. Because you could barely get your key in the front door, let alone boil water for some mac and cheese. (Mmmmm mac and cheeeeeese.)

Even a frozen pizza is much too difficult to figure out right now. Turn on an oven? To 350? Then wait 30 minutes? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

Lucky for you, the food industry has been busy creating products for people on the go, which also happen to work quite well for people who are too-drunk-to-function. Yes, that would be you. Just stock up on any and all of these little guys and you are good to go when the Beer Pong tourny is over and you can’t remember your name (or how you made it home with one shoe and a missing bra…): Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus.  Join the Overheard revolution!  Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

Two guys, in the dining hall, sitting over empty plates:

“What are we doing tonight?”

“Dan’s probably going on a beer run. I think there are a few parties up at the apartments. I wanna get crunk.”

“Definitely, man. Gonna rock it.”

After a moment:

“We’re playing Magic tonight, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Two girls at a party:

“It’s not ‘yes’. I’m drinking. It can’t be yes if I’m drinking.”

“Can you just say ‘yes’ now?”

“But I won’t be be able to say ‘no’ later.”

“You wouldn’t say ‘no’ anyway, would you?”

“No. No, I probably wouldn’t.”

Nearby, the boy with his arm around one girl looks terribly uncomfortable.

One frat boy, from across the library: “Burrito?”

Many frat boys, holding burritos: “BURRITO!”

“So, like, bondage?”

“No, no. How about this. We pretend the bed is a rocket ship, and that we’re all astronauts. And we can only talk with our short-wave radios. And every time we talk dirty, we have to say ‘over and out’.” Read More »

It’s amazing the things that inspire memories and thoughts. The smell of stale beer with a hint of garbage reminds me of my neighbor boys in college. “Kanye’s Workout Plan” reminds me of dance parties in my living room. Chinese food always reminds me of the man who masturbated outside my window while I ate dinner with my roommates.

And Jose? He doesn’t remind me of much, except nights I can’t remember.

Every week we ask our fantastic writers to weigh in on a variety of things. This week, we decided to play a little word association game. What three memories/thoughts/ideas come to mind when they hear the word Jose?

I’ll give you a hint… it involves a toilet. Or a sock drawer, for the truly unfortunate.

Alex – Cornell: Burrito, salsa dancer, sweat

Kelly – UMass: Tacos, Cuervo, Mustache

Lauren – University of Michigan: Body shots, mistakes, and the worst. hangovers. ever. Read More »

Hello all, welcome to day 4 of my week-long vegan eating extravaganza.

I can honestly say that I’m getting used to eating vegan, although I did wake up in a cold panic last night thinking I’d accidentally had nonfat milk instead of soy milk in my morning coffee yesterday, so maybe I take that back…

Breakfast: Breakfast is definitely the hardest meal for a vegan. I think cereal with soy milk is an acquired taste (or maybe just always gross), and as I found out yesterday, scrambled tofu is just plain nasty. I looked up some vegan recipes online, but everything requires baking. You can make versions of muffins, waffles, pancakes, etc, but who has time for this when running out of the house in the morning? Today, I have oatmeal and a Starbucks soy latte for breakfast… again.

Lunch: Nothing. Nothing. Read More »

Herb Peterson, the McMastermind behind the Egg McMuffin, died last week at the age of 89. The egg-cellent treat has been curing hangovers and serious morning cravings since 1972 and Mr. Peterson’s genius will certainly be missed.

Though the Egg McMuffin has a place in the halls of fast food history, not every snack can be so lucky. As a junk food enthusiast and resident gross food researcher, here are my Top 3 Fast Food Flubs.

#3 – Tacos at Burger King (2002)

In a word, they were disgusting. For some reason, the King decided to make a trip south of the border and added 50 cent tacos to their dollar menu. They were soggy, poorly seasoned, used American cheese and the beef may have been horse…or vomit. I don’t know who quarterbacked that decision in the Burger King boardroom but I hope they were sent packing. Better question, I don’t know why I wasted a hard earned dollar from my high school wallet to try them out.

#2 - KFC Famous Chicken Bowls (2006) Read More »

I’ve been told that I make the sweetest burritos ever. And of course my taste buds are biased…but I have to admit…my burritos are my favorite…and I think they’re pretty sweet, too.

My type of Mexican feast definitely has a taste that is a bit different from your normal greasy burrito. So here’s the secret:

You’ll need:

1 box of Mexican Rice (with seasoning)

1 red pepper

1 green pepper

1 jalapano pepper

1 jar of hot salsa

1 bag of cheddar cheese

1 tomato

1 can of black beans

Whatever meat you prefer, if you want.

Tortillas

Start to boil the water for the rice while you chop the peppers and the tomato. Begin to stir fry the peppers and tomatoes and put the rice in the boiled water. If you’ve got meat; throw it in with the stir fry. Read More »

Thanks to my dad making breakfast for me every morning until the day I left for college, I now feel incredibly weird and sick if I don’t eat it, like I’ve left my nose or my left leg at home.

But I know it’s not that way for everybody, and some of us struggle to find the time to even make breakfast. Is it worth it? Hell, yes! Eating a great, healthy breakfast will prevent mid-morning munchies and leave you feeling much more alert and energetic. Not a fan of oatmeal or cold cereal, though? No problem. Try these fab alternatives:

Breakfast Burrito: No, I’m not talking about that abomination they serve up at McDonald’s that’s stuffed with sausage, cheese, and trans fats. I’m talking about utter deliciousness. In a bowl, mix two tablespoons of peanut butter (crunchy or creamy, your choice) with one sliced banana, a generous dollop of honey, and a few walnuts or bits of crunchy granola. Spread the mix on a tortilla, pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds, and you have a tasty power breakfast to go.

Mighty Muffins: I’ve tasted a lot of muffins, and these are hands-down the best and healthiest I’ve ever tried. You’ll need one banana, 2/3 c of whole-wheat flour, ½ tsp baking soda, 3 tablespoons of shortening or butter, 1/3 c of sugar, one egg, 1 tablespoon of honey, ¼ tsp salt, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and ¼ c sour cream. Read More »