When we first saw this ad we were sure it was for some new pink lawn mower, but we were wrong. Turns out this ad is not about lawns or bushes at all. Well, the kind you have in front of your apartment, at least.

Who knew?

You can track him right here.

Gingerbread houses are hard to make. Here’s a little help.

Are ELF cosmetics as good as the expensive stuff?

Who did Bush pardon this time?

5 questions to ask at your annual exam.

Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah!

In a recession, should you settle?

Are Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin fighting? Say it ain’t so!

More fabulous New Year’s dresses for under $150!

The Hills’ girls head back to the West Coast.

Best post-Christmas bargains!

Madonna is dressed to kill…literally

Bush hates pirates

Getting sick in college for dummies

McCain doesn’t roll on Shabbos

Don’t worry!! She’s still a size 0!!

Who’s got a hate-on for Tom Brady?

Angelina teaches kids to play with knives

Marcia was a ho — and other secrets

Why don’t know why she’s famous either

Miley has lived such a full life…

An America by any other name would just be Georgina

Natalie Portman will ALWAYS be better than you

Troubs for Sam and LiLo?!

Audrina poses in a bikini to stay famous

“U.S. Agency for International Development ordered six African countries to ensure that no U.S.-financed condoms, birth control pills, I.U.D.’s or other contraceptives are furnished to Marie Stopes International, a British-based aid group that operates clinics in poor countries.

The Bush administration says it took this action because Marie Stopes International works with the U.N. Population Fund in China. President Bush has cut all financing for the population fund on the — false — basis that it supports China’s family-planning program.”

Because of this birth control supply ban, Marie Stopes International estimates that “the result will be at least 157,000 additional unwanted pregnancies per year [in Africa], leading to 62,000 additional abortions and 660 women dying in childbirth.”

Whether MSI’s estimates are overestimated or not, the real issue is how the Bush administration, and many pro-life activists, believe that taking away a woman’s right to choose birth control and abortion somehow benefits her.

You take away sex education and a woman’s right to choose when and how to have a baby, you take away her basic freedom as a human being.  Period.

[photo from www.doctorswithoutborders.org]

So you’re going through recruitment! You’re excited, nervous, anxious and you can’t stop trying on your new wardrobe for the week and having pretend conversations with yourself in your mirror.

Oh…that was just me.

Whatever your feelings are towards the process of Greek recruitment, uncertainty is almost bound to be one of them. Your recruitment staff will help guide you through this tumultuous week (I say tumultuous only because I go to a school with an ENORMOUS and therefore competitive sorority recruitment period). Your Mom will be there to listen to how your days were. Your boyfriend will be absolutely baffled by the entire process so don’t count on much more than foot rubs. All these people all well and good, but who can you talk to about what’s really pressing you? How do you carry on a conversation with a complete stranger for 20 minutes?

Never fear lovely potential new members, I’ve got your back on what to say (and what definitely NOT to say). A simple Rule of Thumb is to Avoid (at all costs) the 5 B’s.

5. Boys.

Don’t talk about your boyfriend. You don’t want to be that obnoxious girl who only has one interest: her Snuggle McWonderful Honey Bear. Do not go on for hours about your last date night, his favorite foods or colors, or what the names of your future children are if you are seeking an invitation back to that house.

Do NOT name drop the names of your all time favorite Frat Boys. It may seem impressive to you that you can name all the older guys at XYZ house, but to the woman rushing you it might come off as desperate or weird. Some of the boys will most likely be her friends, and you don’t want any of your indiscretions from your wild Freshman Summer coming back to haunt you. Even worse, she may have dated any one of said studs and it might irk her to learn that her ex-boo has been gettin’ jiggy with the freshmen population. Just don’t talk about boys. This week is about sisterhood and finding the right house for you…not the men in your life.

4. Booze

If you are going through Panhellenic recruitment, chances are whatever house you’re at has it written in their bylaws that drinking is FORBIDDEN. These women work hard to portray and maintain a classy reputation for their chapters and don’t want to hear about your still-drunk walk of shame that morning. They are not looking for a new party-partner (despite what you may have heard). They’re looking for a girl to call their sister no matter what day of the week and no matter how much Franzia is involved.

Of course a poppin’ social life is a major perk of being Greek, but those good times are about bonding with your sisters, not Jack Daniels. If your social life is a top priority and you want a sisterhood that will support your partying endeavors, feel free to make it known. Just make the focus of your conversation about the girls you want at your side while you scream Journey into the mic, and not about drinking. So ticking off your top 5 favorite mixer themes = way cool…counting down your top 50 favorite mixers with vodka, not so much.

3. Bush.

Politics, in general, actually. OF COURSE this is on everyone’s mind at present time, and we all know elections are in 2 months. But you just met this girl. Do not delve into hot button issues, no matter how important they are to you; they’re probably just as important to her, but she might just be at the complete opposite end of the spectrum of ideals. Save yourself and incredibly awkward aftermath and do not bring up Global Warming or Roe v. Wade.

Stick to “polite conversation” that you would feel comfortable having in a job or college interview. When you find your new home at the end of the week, rally up the sisters that share your mindset (whatever it may be) to go petition, campaign or protest. Politically active girls belong to all the different houses, and will be open about their beliefs at a more appropriate time–follow that lead.

2. Beliefs.

Again, this is a cornerstone of everyone’s life so of course it will be reflected in the way you behave and present yourself. I’m not saying to pretend to be something you’re not (never ever do this! No matter how badly you want to be a part of the house, if you don’t fit in as your own badass-self, you do NOT belong there!) or to lie about your religious affiliation or extracurricular activities.

If you were a Youth Group Leader at your Church or Temple, awesome. Tell your girl alll about your interests, activities and passions. Do not instigate an uncomfortable, disrespectful or rude debate about your personal beliefs (which may be incredibly similar or WAY different from hers.)

1. Bucks.

Talking about money is tacky. Asking people how much they earn, while it has grown more acceptable in our need to know everything generation, is still considered bad manners in a casual social setting. Talk about your job if you love it (or hate it, I’ve heard some funny stories), don’t talk about how much you make. Feel free to gripe about gas price (she’ll commiserate), just don’t detail its impact on your bank account. And definitely divulge your favorite places to get f-ing AWESOME clothes for ridiculously cheap (she’ll feel you on this one).

Don’t try to talk your family or yourself up like a Rockefeller; you’ll either seem snobbish and intimidating to the poor girl rushing you, or she’ll be secretly laughing at you because she’s like…a legit Rockefeller (it happens). If you feel the need to bring up financial issues because you really and truly want to be Greek but aren’t sure how you’ll manage dues, bring this up when the woman talking to you explains her chapter’s financial requirements (there’s usually a designated day for this) so you can discuss payment options, scholarships, and installment plans.

It may seem like eliminating these topics will skim much of your personality away too, but think of the first parties you attend through recruitment as casual conversations with any other random stranger. You want them to have a positive opinion of you (not your boyfriend) that won’t be negated by any of your–ahem– lesser virtues.

And if the conversation seems shallow at first, remember: you just met this girl. You both have been having the same conversation over and over again throughout the day (major, hometown, high school activities). But as recruitment continues and you find yourself returning to the houses where you really felt at home, you’ll feel your conversations become genuine and you’ll be able to better evaluate where you truly belong.

[photo from www.udel.edu]

Go here for even more hilarity connected to Bush’s Olympic vacation.

We’ve talked about Craigslist countless times before. It’s glorious and hilarious and you can buy chairs or sell your cat. However, after a little chat with our hormonal Coed office buddies, we realized that there was an untapped ocean of entertainment on CL known as Casual Encounters. We knew all about Missed Connections (and may have looked to see, from time to time, if anyone had MC’ed us…which they never did), but had always assumed that the Casual Encounters section of Cragislist was full of skeevy people and penis pics.

So yeah, it’s full of skeevy people and ‘peen pics, but it’s also full of the strange and the weird and the desperate. How entertaining!

PS: We changed the titles and photos to fit our liking (and keep nasty ‘peen pics off our site). It’s better this way. Trust us.

Boston Man Really Supports Bush

Hi.

Interested? Let me know

LA Girl Obviously Too Perfect To Be Anything But A Porn SpamBot – But Act Like An Idiot and Email Her Anyway

I’m shy, inexpereinced in almost every way. i enjoy long days playing tennis, cool nights talking and early morning jogs. I am a fun loving, energy filled girl looking for someone who can keep up. I love to do just about anything, but some of my favorite things to do are ride 4 wheelers, hang out with friends, play games, fish, listen to country music while cruising the back roads, bowling, camping, and play sports (soccer, basketball, softball, mud football, etc.) I’m not all energy though, I do like to have quiet evenings at the house, watch TV and just hang out. Send me your pic and I’ll send you mine!

Portland Guy Is [Sexy] Not Homophobic [Sexy] And Really [Sexy] Into the Word Sexy And [Sexy] Light Drinking

I’m hoping to meet a sexy couple for sexy fun times. I’m a bachelor, very open minded and not looking to be in a relationship. I’ve done this before and it really worked out well.

It turns me on when two guys service a lady and all her sexy needs. Im not homophobic if the husband and I touch while servicing her. I love double penetration if the lady is up for it.

If you are a couple who is in shape to HWP, non smokers/light drinkers and STD free then please send me a note with a photo of both of you in it.
I will reply with my photos and contact information.
Hope to hear from you!

Las Vegas Dude Wants You To Taste The Next Level Of Your Sensuality (He also did not lose his brains yet so don’t worry)

I’m an open-minded, but did not lose my brains yet! I like to travel, visit parks, drive for hours. I love roads and trips. I have strong personality and more often than not I know exactly what I want. I was in army and I like things to be in order, but I also learned that often we just need to go with the flow. I like to wear suit (but FL makes it often difficult). I like sports and consider sex as one of them. Any type of sex! I can never get enough.

I guarantee you (as probably other 100% of men in here), I can last… Often because I like to see my partner satisfied first. What it means for you? You get an extra time to try new things, new ideas (please feel free to share). You can feel longer and probably even get a taste of the next level of your sensuality. I’m clean, D/D free. I respect your privacy and your needs. And I ask for the same in return. I like to talk to people and listen to their stories. Would you like to tell me yours?

A Man I Am Seriously Considering Emailing

Hey there, looking for a laid back, drama free girl that is interested in having her feet worshiped in exchange for me doing your chores

(Yes, that is what I am hoping he looks like….)

And Now the News with Kandy Korrespondent!The Group of Eight (G8) summit is taking place this week on the Japanese island of Hokkaido. The meeting originally was to center around the issue of climate, but was changed due to surging food and oil prices.

The intensity of the global situation has turned this island paradise into a police state. Japan has spent $280 million on security, surrounding the summit venue with a human blockade of 21,000 riot police. Despite the wide security perimeters, protesters began to gather on Saturday with many more expected to arrive during the week.

Meanwhile in Malaysia, leaders of the world’s largest Islamic nations gathered for their annual “D8” summit to discuss global inflation. The D8 is a reaction against the exclusive nature of the G8 summit.

In Other News:

World leaders remain split over attending next month’s Olympics in Beijing. Chancellor Merkel of Germany and Prime Minister Brown of the UK will not be attending the opening games in protest of China’s poor human rights record—most notably demonstrated through the crackdown on Tibet in March.

Prime Minister Sarkozy of France is still debating the issue. Last week, as a result of Sarkozy’s public lambasting of China’s human rights abuses, the government said that it would give Sarkozy the cold shoulder even if he were to attend.

On the other side of the spectrum—President Bush reiterated his intent to attend the entirety of the Olympic games as has Japan’s Prime Minister Fukuda.

This morning, during rush hour in Kabul, Afghanistan, a suicide bomber attacked the Indian embassy. According to witnesses, the attacker targeted the line of people waiting in line for visas.

On Sunday, another suicide bomber killed 15 policemen in Islamabad, Pakistan during celebrations marking the end of last year’s Red Mosque Siege. No organization has claimed responsibility.

Will the violence never cease?

And Now, on a lighter note, for Something Completely Different:

In case you haven’t been following the news from Germany very closely, the country has been in an uproar for the past few months over the upcoming wax Hitler addition to Berlin’s Madam Tussaud’s wax museum. Barely minutes after the grand opening on Saturday, a German man forced his way past the figure’s guards and tore Hitler’s head off. I guess that was that.

That’s the news!

5. This is actually a perfectly lovely picture of Jenna, I add it only to remark on how much Barbara Bush (daughter) looks like Alanis Morissette.

4. As her father’s daughter, I would have expected that she could hold her alcohol better.

3. To all of you naysayers out there, this picture is proof of how much Jenna has changed in the last eight years. Now she can remain standing whilst drinking. I sure hope that’s the lucky groom.

2. Is she yawning or screaming? It’s the difference between an important political function and a Three Doors Down concert, both of which have an equal affect on our nation

1. The economy is in the sh*tter, the war in Iraq is years from being over and will cost the nation upwards of $3 trillion dollars. Rock on, Jenna. Rock on.

In all seriousness, I wish The Hagers a very happy and harmonious marriage. But… I just can’t help but think of all the men and women fighting and dying overseas who will never get a chance to have such a lovely wedding and it sort of makes me lose my sense of humor.

Bye-bye Hillary… As more and more news outlets and political insiders come out in support of Senator Barack Obama as the democratic presidential nominee, pressure is mounting for Clinton to drop out so that the democratic party can turn their focus onto defeating McCain—whom many are calling Bush III.

This week’s Economist led with an article entitled “Almost there: Barack Obama deserves the nomination. It is not yet clear whether he deserves the presidency”. The article went on to state:

“As The Economist went to press, Mrs Clinton was publicly still promising to keep on fighting right the way to the Denver convention. That remains her right. But it is hard to see what she, her party or her country can gain from the struggle.”

The New York Times—who had endorsed Senator Clinton– posted a rather scathing editorial in which all but call upon her to drop out, stating that while it is her right to continue the fight,

“Mrs. Clinton will be making a terrible mistake — for herself, her party and for the nation — if she continues to press her candidacy through negative campaigning with disturbing racial undertones.”

The Obama campaign meanwhile has been wasting no time in capitalizing on the growing anti-Clinton pro-Obama sentiment. Not surprisingly, they are feeding it. On Sunday, David Azelrod, Obama’s campaign manager told Fox News, that,

“we’re coming to the end of the [nomination] process”.

In the opinion of this writer, it is no longer a matter of “if” but rather “when” Senator Clinton will drop out. Over the past year as I have watched her campaign, I have been inspired by her enthusiasm and determination to change this country’s course. It is for this reason, however, that I must add my small voice to the growing chorus calling upon her to move aside. She deserves the nomination, but not now, not like this.

In Other News:

A 7.8 magnitude earthquake has killed at least 9,000 in the western Sichuan province of China. According to Reuters, over 7,000 of the dead were in Sichuan’s Beichuan Qiang Autonomous County where 80 percent of the buildings were destroyed. One in 10 residents were either killed or injured.

Nearby in Myanmar, the official death toll is close to 32,000 and potentially still growing. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon sad on Monday that the government of Myanmar’s response to the devastating cyclone has been “unacceptably slow”. He went on to state:

“We are at a critical point. Unless more aid gets into the country very quickly, we face an outbreak of infectious diseases that could dwarf today’s current crisis, I therefore call in the most strenuous terms on the government of Myanmar to put its people’s lives first.”

The first US aid plane landed in Rangoon, Myanmar today along with aircraft fro Medecins Sans Frontieres (trans: Doctors Without Borders) and Medecins du Monde (trans: Doctors of the World)

And Now for Something Completely Different:

The Birds! In Florida last Thursday, an avian-biped collision left one dead and another hospitalized over night. Debbie Shoemaker was apparently swimming near St. Petersburg, FL when a large pelican slammed into her, ripping a large gash in her face. The bird died in the crash and Debbie was taken to a nearby hospital where she required 20 stitches. It is thought that the pelican was diving for fish and simply failed to see the bathing woman.

That’s the News, see you tomorrow!