I barely have time to breathe, let alone spend QT with the BF.

I’m currently only on my second week back in school. However, in those few days, I’ve managed to become a producer at our student TV station, write a paper on The Godfather script, drop a class because it had too much homework, and signed up to become a licensed real estate agent. I’ve canceled or just flat out forgotten about my friends, and worst of all, I’ve barely seen my boyfriend… even though I live with him.

Anybody else dealing with the time crunch in a relationship? How do you deal?

Take a breath.  I’m gonna let you into a little secret: you don’t have to. Not only do you not have to, you really can’t!  Helen Fielding, the creator of one of our favorite literary characters, Bridget Jones, says that we can’t.  During a recent speech at the Oxford Union,  Fielding cited the idea of “having it all” as a modern disease making women feel the need to live up to the images and expectations of an idealistic society that are thrown at us from all sides.  A modern disease?  Awesome.  Now we have to worry about this AND swine flu.

However, Bridget Jones certainly couldn’t do it, so why should we feel the need to overstuff our lives?  Think of all the things you love about Bridget – she’s human, she makes mistakes (awesomely hilarious mistakes!), she knows how to have a good time, she’s dedicated when it counts, etc, etc.  We love her because she is all of us!  What she definitely isn’t is a trembling, stressed-out activity freak that might collapse at any moment just because she wanted to fit just one more thing into her life… and then feel like a failure when she can’t.

Let’s be real with ourselves.  We don’t want to be the girl who has it all, because we’d be stressed and constantly afraid of dropping one of the many balls we’d have to juggle to make that happen (and I don’t know many girls who like juggling balls….).  What our generation really needs is to prioritize and figure out who we are and, eventually, who we want to be.  Sure, we’re gonna have to give up some things (maybe you don’t need to be in twelve organizations and have seven jobs), but it’s better than giving up our sanity.

Right?

Senior year in high school I was on a champion volleyball team, had a cute boyfriend, surrounded myself with fabulous friends, but did absolutely zero homework (Senioritis proved to be a seriously dangerous disease).

Freshman year in college I had decent grades, tons of extra-currics, loads of buddies, but didn’t go on a single date.

This year I worked for the newspaper, had a few flings, but also had a GPA that took a bit of a plunge.

All of this got me thinking: can you really “have it all”? Our generation has been taught over and over again that we can do anything and everything we want as long as we try, but is that really true? Is it possible to balance stellar grades, awesome friends, your fave hobbies, a significant other, and a healthy bod with only 24 hours in a day? (By the way, this is just my idea of “it all.” Yours may vary greatly.)

After 20 years of trying and constantly feeling like I’m failing in some capacity, I have officially given up. It may sound cynical, but I’ve decided it’s simply impossible to have it all. At least at the same time…and to a fulfilling degree. When I try to add something in – like a new love interest – something else always gets pushed to the back burner, leaving me defending myself against my friends or fighting to keep my head above water in my classes.

There is just never enough time.

So instead of constantly being unsatisfied and obsessing about how that one (or many) thing(s) in my life is missing, I’ve trying to focus on what I do have at the moment. Quality, not quantity—right?!?

Because the thing is, even when I think I finally “have it all,” I always manage to find something else that’s missing, and the circle of dissatisfaction (called life) continues. (Remember when you said that after you got into college, you would be happy forever, your life would be fulfilled, and you would never complain again? And then remember the week after you got accepted when you were whining about not receiving the housing information fast enough? Yea. I thought so.)

I’ve tried many tactics to keep myself satisfied. I’ve tried to stop comparing myself to others. Ha. That one never came to fruition. I’ve worked on prioritizing instead of making everything happen at once: is getting an A in economics this semester more important, or making fabulous and unforgettable memories with friends? (The memories obviously prevailed.) I’ve even made lists of what I thought would make me happy, crossing off my hopes and dreams as I accomplished them (I knew my OCD would come in handy at some point!). But still, I have never been able to fit everything on my plate, or to learn how to be satisfied with only filling it half up.

So, my question is, have you? If your answer is yes, please enlighten me on how you’ve accomplished this inconceivable feat. If no, thank god I’m not alone!

If you find yourself without the time to cook 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, these dishes are perfect for you. Get in the kitchen once and eat for days.

Door Number 1: Soup

Soup is a classic for good reason. It’s quick to make, it stays well in the fridge or the freezer, and it’s extremely simple to cook up a giant batch and use it for meal after meal. Soup is also incredibly versatile—in almost any soup recipe, you can add or subtract basically whatever you want (don’t like celery? Try some zucchini!) and it will still turn out tasting great. Plus, you don’t even know how much better it is than soup in the can until you’ve made it yourself and experienced the difference. A good starting point is this potato soup, which is All Recipes’s highest-rated soup recipe.

Door Number 2: Rice

My personal favorite thing to do with rice is to cook a huge pan of fried rice with tons of vegetables and bits of chicken or tofu, and then keep the leftovers for my lunches all week. Following this recipe will give you great Chinese fried rice. If you prefer a more Indian flava, leave out the soy sauce, sub the sesame oil with another type of oil (canola or mustard is good), and add turmeric, cumin, chili powder, and pepper.

Making a really big pot of rice and then keeping the plain leftovers can also give you a quick base for almost any meal down the road. To get the most out of your rice, try soaking it in clean cold water for 20-30 minutes before you boil it.

Door Number 3: Casserole

In Minnesota we call this “hot dish,” but whatever you call it, it’s the same thing: the ultimate American comfort food. The definition is so nebulous that it can cover practically anything—chicken and rice, macaroni and cheese, lasagna, etc. Whichever you choose, they are easy to make and big enough to last you through the week. I’m not a fan of tuna, but this tuna casserole was developed by a college student, so it already passes the “quick, easy, and edible” test. And it does look really good…. Mmmm.

So there you have it, ladies. No more wasting money on carry-out, or eating a bag of Doritos for dinner; now you can cook one time and be set for the week ahead. Just heat up those leftovers, and dig in!

[Image courtesy of anthearowe.com.]

Sure, it seems overwhelming; sure, sometimes you want to break down and cry; but at the end of the day, you love what you do, and you’re proud of the fact that you can accomplish an exponential amount more than most mortals. And you know that everything you do will benefit you in the long run.

I love to feel useful, so it’s always been hard for me to say “no” to picking up an extra shift, or doing an extra project. When I was in high school, I worked part time, was active in drama club, cheerleading, amnesty international, gay/straight alliance, dance classes, and, senior year, I edited the yearbook. And I did it all while making honor roll each semester. In college, I wasn’t so active in extra-curriculars, but I held down two restaurant jobs, took a full course load, and partied my face off, while making Dean’s List. You can call me a nerd; I just think I have a severe case of ADHD that’s never been officially diagnosed.

That said, Wonder Woman, I know the meaning of stress, and I know the importance of staying organized. Here are some of my own personal life-saving tips.

1. Write everything down.

In fact, write everything down multiple times. I feel relaxed just by rifling through my brain and coming up with a list of what needs to get done, and when. Carry a planner, so you don’t have to rack your brain if someone asks what you’re doing Saturday, November 15 at 3:30 p.m. Tape a list of upcoming homework assignments next to your bed, and cross off each completed task when you’re finished. Instead of doodling during a boring lecture, write the list over again, and come to grips with what projects are the most urgent (eg. you need to start them NOW).

2. Use every minute of free time.

Have a half-hour break between classes? Email your professor while you scarf that bagel. Do that “busy-work” assignment that’s been in the back of your head – the one that’s so simple you can’t bring yourself to start it. Lunch break at work? Bring your English book and read a chapter instead of gossiping in the smoking lounge (and by smoking lounge, I obviously mean that obscure space outside the back door where everyone huddles around a butt can). You’d be surprised how much you can get done in little intervals… and you might even find that you’ve suddenly got a large interval of time to spare.

3. Condense Your Tools.

When you’re on the go, forgetting one thing can ruin your day and cause a mega-meltdown. Instead of having a folder, a binder, and a notebook for each class, get a five-subject notebook and one of those accordion folders with dividers for handouts. You’ll only need to grab the same two things each day. Plus, instead of having an assignment book, a date book, and all that fancy shmancy stuff, grab a planner that has a section for everything you might need, all in one. Still not efficient enough? Try…

4. Using Technology to Your Advantage.

My favorite tool on my Macbook? The “Stickies” application. I have notes open (in all different colors, of course), for my banking and credit card info, upcoming assignments, important email addresses, etc. As long as you have your computer, you’ll never lose them or accidentally throw them out; they’re easier to manage than rifling through a hundred pages to find one reminder; and they can conveniently disappear behind your Microsoft Word or Firefox windows, OR you can set them as a “floating window” so they’re always visible. Blackberries, iPhones, and other digital instruments can work to your advantage, and send you preset reminders so you never forget.

5. Stay clean.

This is the most difficult for me, a self-proclaimed slob and packrat. But if your papers are all over your desk, you’re not going to find your Spanish notes before the exam. Hell, even if your clothes are scattered on the floor, you might freak out if you can’t find the blouse you just NEED to wear for your business class presentation. Knowing where everything is, and how to locate it will make things a thousand times easier for you, and, in a crunch, you can probably get help from your roommate, friend, or a family member (such as when you’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic but have to hand in an essay in twenty minutes, and your dear, sweet, darling roommate agrees to find your USB stick, print your essay on her computer, and meet you outside your dorm to pass it off as you spring to your deadline).

6. Plan ahead.

Finished everything for today? It might be easy to crash on the couch and watch SoapNet reruns for hours, just so you don’t have to think. But then you might be stressed again tomorrow. Look at your calendar, and see if there’s anything you can get a jump start on, or anything you can work on now to give yourself time to party like a rockstar on Saturday. Forcing yourself to work when you’re beat might seem like cruel and unusual self-discipline, but as a fellow workaholic, I can affirm: we did this to ourselves.

7. Take Time to Recharge.

Sure, I just said to plan ahead. And you should, if you’re up for it. But if you can barely keep your eyes open, it’s time for a nap; even if you still have one more little thing to do today. Running yourself into the ground will have drastic consequences, including sloppy work and a bitchy attitude. Besides, if you are a stellar multi-tasker, you’ll learn to plan ahead your time to recharge. Look at your calendar- if you know you have back-to-back midterms, a twenty-page paper due, and a monthly meeting, it won’t kill you to take a shift off from work. Or, if you’re on top of your game in class, you can use your free skip day when you know you won’t be missing much, and rest up with little guilt. People as busy as we are can appreciate every minute of free time, so if you treat yourself to an unexpected break, even a half-day can feel like a million years.

These are my own personal tricks to staying collected even when I feel like I’m on the brink of erupting in a volcano of anxiety. On the bright side, the waves of stress come and go, I’m NEVER bored, and at the end of the day, I can sit back and see a variety of products that I made happen. People ask me if I’m on crack, and I’m not. Just a billion milligrams of caffeine. And I wouldn’t change my lifestyle for the world.

How do all the other supergirls of the world deal with their hectic schedules?

[Photo courtesy of www.crystalcreekproducts.com]

“Do you ever just chill out?” A friend recently asked me, as I checked my email on my phone during a lunch date. “I mean, we’re at a diner.”

“I need to make sure the email I sent in to my professor made it. And if my internship got back to me about possibly skipping Monday…” I could have kept talking about what I needed to do, but the waiter was setting down a delicious plate of hummus and stuffed grape leaves. I cannot deny a good stuffed grape leaf.

My diner friend isn’t the first person to point out how much I work, how busy I keep my schedule. Moving forward in my career has always been a giant part of my life.

But these days, it’s an even bigger part. Why? Because the moment I calm down is the moment I realize work is just about the only thing I’ve got.

I push myself in grad school, on the job, in my internship, and with outside work because it keeps my mind busy. The more I have to do during the day (and at night), the less time I have to realize my relationship life, my financial stability, and my overall comfort with my place in…society, basically…is much less than stable.

Right before I drift off to sleep (and by “drift” I mean “lie in bed for about an hour before I finally go unconscious”) is when my mind comes after me. There’s no paper to write, no phone call to take, no email to open, and so my insecurities are free to take over.

Why the hell can’t you find a dude to make you happy?

Probably, you could loose about 5 pounds.

Now, while I freely admit that I have the type of personality that thrives on being busy, I also freely admit that those midnight thoughts are a big reason I don’t spend a lot of time chilling out. Some nights, when I come home, dripping exhaustion and barely able to kick off my uncomfortable shoes and throw something together for dinner, I wonder if there’s anyone else out there who wishes people understood some of the vulnerable reasons why she’s so driven.

So…ladies…are you out there?