G.W.W.E.: Robert “Bite Me” Pattinson

robert-pattinson_lWe’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Ladies, do you like a good nibble during a makeout sesh? Do you get off on the idea of escaping from the perils of public life into seclusion with your hunk? Do you get hot for precariously messy coifs? If you said ‘yes!’ to all of these questions, and can stand the sight of blood without fainting, Robert Pattinson may be the boy-toy for you.

At 23, Pattinson has set the world ablaze with his vacant, erotic stare that communicates the only emotion I ever need to know: ‘I want to eff the sh*t out of you.’ The hottie shot to fame last fall  for his film role as bloodsucking, sexy vampire Eddie Cullen in the Twilight series. Ever since, ladies aged 8 to 88 have been fainting in the streets at the mere sight of the British hunk, who has been known to instigate spontaneous orgasm with a single scowl.

Most recently, Robert has been making headlines in New York for the legions of girls who’ve come out to stalk him catch a glimpse as he films his new movie, Remember Me, in the Big Apple. Just last week, the effable villain was clipped by a New York taxi cab as he tried to escape the hordes of tween girls throwing themselves upon him in lust. But breathe easy ladies, he’s fine (or shall I say, he’s foyne!).

So, RP, I confess: your devilish grin has inspired me to return to my TigerBeat roots and pin up your photos all over my walls. And refrigerator. And, well, the inside of my medicine cabinet. No facade in my home has been spared from your infinitely effable visage. When you’ve decided you’ve had enough of the tween fandom and want a real woman, come scowl in my direction.

Hangover Chronicles 2: Top 5 Worst Things That Happened Last Night

hangover1.jpgYou know those mornings. The ones when you and your girlfriends gather from your various places of shacking over lots of water and ibuprofen to remind each other of the hilarity that went down the night before. Amid all of the laughter (and reviewing of pictures….to jog your memory), you suddenly realize just what happened: the worst thing ever. And it was horrible. And it may or may not have been one of these:

5. A lost wallet and/or clutch. This is particularly disturbing because it is usually the first thing that hits you in the morning, well before you’ve had any time to nurse the hangover you earned. It feels very similar to being on a deserted island that smells strongly of vodka and lime. You are cell-less, cutting off contact with the outside world. With credit card whereabouts unknown and no proof of identity, you are left defenseless against fraud. If you are underage, there is the heavy burden of finding a new fake i.d. The brand new lip gloss and powder from MAC that you inevitably JUST bought are gone forever. Worst of all, your dear, loyal, and perfectly fashionable clutch will never be wedged into your armpit for pictures or table dancing ever again. R.I.P. Limited edition Coach Python and Boucle clutch. You will be missed.

4. The guy you went home with. Okay, last night this guy was h-o-t! He was witty and charming and so attentive to your needs; not once did he let you have an empty glass! Whether you met him at the pre-party, the bar, or on the way home (never a good sign), this dude – who seemed like a great idea at the time – is now nothing more than a big (or worse, tiny) mistake. Often, this error in judgment will use trickery and promises of rides on his family’s yacht to get you home with him, but come morning all he can offer is a ride home…if you’re lucky. High-tail it out of there and head to the nearest health clinic to make sure all he has given you is a bad memory. Read More »

7 Days Without Alcohol–DAY 3

My third day of not drinking proved to be yet another day filled with self realization. I did more things that I haven’t done in a long time…and I have to tell you: I’m really proud of myself.

I spent all day in the recording studio laying down tracks for my new solo project. Guitars, keys, bass, vocals…everything. Although it’s kind of taboo for singers to drink in the studio…I can’t remember the last time that I recorded vocals without drinking beforehand.

Considering I had a pretty endless amount of money to spend on the recording and whatever expenses I incurred throughout my recording day; it was hard to not abuse the budget by buying alcohol. It was even harder because of this: Read More »