CollegeCandy » cabo

The Hills: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Married!

Lauren - University of Michigan — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:34:00 +0000

I can’t believe I almost missed tonight’s episode of The Hills. The biggest episode of the season! Not only did Whitney get the job at DVF (which was a total shock to me!), but Spencer finally got Heidi drunk enough to marry him!

Good thing she had that random white dress on hand!

I really need to focus most of my attention on the Pratt wedding (because, let’s be honest, there is much to be discussed), but first I must say this: for the first time in the history of The Hills, tonight’s episode made me cry. Yes, laugh at me if you will, but Whitney’s dad was so cute and I couldn’t help but cry when he gave her a goodbye speech. Oh, and I also cried when Whitney got out of the limo at the airport. What was with that flannel babydoll dress? Did she learn nothing since her first day at Teen Vogue??

But none of that matters, because Spencer and Heidi got married. In Cabo. Drunk. I don’t know which part of the evening was worse:

- The fact that Spencer “knows what Patron does to [Heidi]!” and just kept giving her more until she agreed to marry him.

- When Spencer told Heidi, “I’m madly obsessed with you…I pretty much keep you from the whole world.” That guy is seriously one step away from Mark Wahlberg in Fear.

- Or when Spencer told Heidi that she makes him a nicer person. Anyone else want to know what he was like before Heidi? The Joker?

Eventually, Heidi agrees that this is a fantastic idea and joins Spencer in holy matrimony. But only in secret. Because if Heidi and Spencer are anything, it is concerned with their privacy. They aren’t the kind of people that would hire a photographer to snap shots of their wedding. They wouldn’t return from Cabo and immediately sell the story to US Weekly. It’s not like they are on a TV show, or anything.

This is secret and romantic and cute! No one is gonna find out. Not that this whole charade is going to last long enough to be legalized, anyway. Heidi is going to wake up from that Jose coma and realize what a giant (flesh color bearded) mistake she made.

Or they are going to make babies and get their own show, which will be nothing if not the most entertaining show on TV. God, I love MTV.

Mrs. Heidi Pratt?

Lauren - University of Michigan — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:11:53 +0000

All along I thought things couldn’t get worse: the economy is in the crapper, I can’t fit into my skinny jeans and my Chi started smoking when I turned it on this morning.

Oh but they can.

And they did.

People are talkin’, and what are they saying? Spencer and Heidi got married in Cabo. (Insert scary movie sounds here.)

The wedding was allegedly unplanned, but there is not a person on this earth who believes that this wasn’t some major publicity stunt for the Devil Couple that fell out of the limelight when real things started happening. Like the election.

But now? I can only imagine the Speidi publicity storm that is about to erupt:

1. Exclusive wedding photos sold to the highest bidding tabloid.

2. Heidi and Spencer going to every late night talk show to discuss this secret wedding.

3. A new fashion line from Heidi with slutty and trashy wedding gowns for last minute brides.

4. Exclusive video footage (shot by someone Spencer and Heidi hired) of their deep and meaningful vows leaked to the press.

5. A love song duet with accompanying music video shot on the beach.

6. Their own (gasp) reality show…on Bravo.

Please God, if you are out there, let this not be true. And if it is true, please promise me they will be unable to procreate. Mankind is depending on you.

The Hills: What the Hell is a Hall Pass?

Lauren - University of Michigan — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 02:43:04 +0000

I’d like to start off this post by apologizing for my absence last week; I was not home for the live broadcast of The Hills and when I returned I found out that my DVR didn’t record it. Because it was recording a rerun of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. That I had already seen…twice. Embarassing, I know.

But one thing I am not sorry about is the fact that I got to catch last week’s episode tonight and it was like Pop Up Video! Seriously, I am not sure I can ever watch the show live again. The pop up comments from viewers make the whole thing so much more entertaining!

Although, last night’s ep. didn’t need any witty comments from college girls to entertain me. The drama was out in full force when the cool kids decided to pack up Doug’s jet and head to Cabo for the weekend. Why Cabo? Well, obviously they needed to get away from cold and dreary L.A. to find sand, a swimming pool and endless amounts of alcohol!

Unforch, the beautiful scenery did nothing for Justin Bobby and Audrina’s “relationship.” (Looks like getting nakey in the pool last week didn’t help much either.) After the boys do a little homo-erotic hot tubbing where JB finds out about Audrina’s other boy toy, Justin Bobby decides that he is finally free, yada, yada, yada, and something about a Hall Pass.

He just kept talking about this Hall Pass. Am I the only one who doesn’t get what that is?

What I do get is that Justin Bobby is just like every other D-Bag on the show. He is not the pensive, thoughtful, deep and mature dude MTV wanted us all to believe this season. He is an insecure L.A. boy who can’t seem to grow up, even if he is showering these days.

And as long as we are talking about people that we really hate and would do anything to see dead, let’s move back to L.A. for the scandalous dinner between Steph’s new BF (who somehow already knows all the Cabo boys) and Spencer, an uncanny look-alike for Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.

I know what it is like to be cranky when A) people show up really late, and B) I have very little food in my system, but I don’t believe that any of those reasons justify Spencer’s behavior at dinner. Or in life, in general.

There is nothing more to say about him because I have said it all – week after week – but I just couldn’t help but (literally) SCREAM at the TV when he had the audacity to talk to Steph about loyalty towards her family. He did just force Heidi to kick her sister out, right? He did tear Heidi away from her family to be with him, right? Ok. That’s what I thought.

Poor Stephanie finally found a guy who was willing to go out with her (and who must have been late because it took him 40 minutes to find an old t-shirt and a ratty hoodie to wear) and her lame ass brother is going to ruin it for her.

Poor girl can’t get a break. Except, of course, for making friends with LC and getting onto this show where she makes like $10,000 an episode.

And, finally, did anyone else have issues with the fact that the song from the new Nano commercial was playing during the ep? I was seriously waiting for Steph and Heidi to poop paint.

No? Just me?

Hair Gel + Man Capris = Glorious, Glorious Guido Dancing

Jess - NYU — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:53:47 +0000

The official YouTube title of this video is pretty funny, but I like my title better: “Guido in Man-Capris (and water shoes) Gets Totally Played By Hilarious Female“


Extra funny bone points go to Man-Capris friend, Acid Washed Ripped Jeans Guido, who is not afraid to bust of move all by himself in the corner.



Y’know who won’t be ogling you?
CC Staff — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:11:15 +0000
You’ve been hittin’ the gym every day since January with the explicit intent of rocking a thong-cut bikini for Spring Break in Cabo. Wooooooo!
And I bet you’ll look fiiine. And I bet all the boys will be all, mmm-hmmm.
But y’know who won’t be ogling you? Homeless people.
(Okay, maybe I’m being a tad alarmist, but it’s true nonetheless.)
Consider using your bad-ass bod and sculpted muscles to make a difference. Habitat for Humanity offers their “Collegiate Challenge” – an “alternative break program” which encourages college kids to spend their outdoor energies building houses for the needy.
Habitat For Humanity has affiliates all over the U.S. so it’s a viable option no matter where you go to school. And even if you’ve already booked your tickets South, you can always consider opting for this “alternative” for your next break.
Though it’s not quite as glamorous as lounging on pink sandy shores, the feeling of generosity lasts exponentially longer than a tan. And consider this: will you meet better guys doing shooters in Mexico or doing charity work in N’orleans?