Oprah makes more a year than you can imagine

Stop. Playing. That. SONG

So…does this mean we can’t swim here?

One time when obesity works for you

Top 10 college towns for night owls

What if Kevin Arnold never grew up?

Devil Dog!!

Mom, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend…and my girlfriend

Where are they now: Reality Stars

Glamorize the life of a Call Girl?

Are we really serious with this?

Honestly?

For those of you who don’t know, Confessions of a College Callgirl is a blog about a girl, presumably in college, who works as a prostitute for her source of income. Feel free to do your own research, then come back and see whether or not you agree with me.

I’ve been perusing a bunch of her blogs. I probably could do a really amazing research paper with this if I really wanted. I also could probably decide if I thought everything she said was legit truth or not. As of right now…I do think she’s actually doing some of this stuff. I don’t think she’s fabricating all of it…I just think she’s fabricating a LOT.

For one, this isn’t a blog – it’s a low-grade erotica publication. If she was what she says she is, which is a call girl putting herself through college, why the hell would she detail exactly what she does to her clients? We all know how to put two and two together…prostitutes have sex. For money. Is this not common knowledge? Let me know if it isn’t. Someone should let her know that literotica.com has much better material, thanks very much.

Secondly, she seems surprisingly nonchalant about her encounters and the emotions that come with them. If I was putting myself through college by virtue of handjobs, first off I’d be embarrassed. Second, I wouldn’t tell people exactly how the encounters went. If I were to blog about this (presuming I’d want ANYONE to know about it), I’d be a tad more nondescript in terms of what I did to people. I know she keeps her identity a secret but still. If I was going to be a whore to fund my college tuition (which, I HAVE considered, halfheartedly, several times. This sh*t ain’t cheap), I would at least make my blogging experience constructive. You don’t need to give us the juicy (literally) details, how about you just…reflect. We KNOW what you are doing. We’re not stupid. Never make a reader feel stupid.

She’s in college, yes. I can’t tell where she goes or what her year is (whether or not she’s grad or undergrad). She alludes to her “youth and good looks” as her means for accomplishing this absurd feat so I am assuming she’s an undergrad or a young grad student. Which means we probably are in a very similar demographic. So if she’s not much older than me, can someone tell her that blowing guys for money to go shopping on 5th Avenue is not necessary?

Maybe I am bitter. I know I’m pretty freakin’ poor. There’s $28.89 in my bank account (don’t judge me, please). I know that she’s making absurd amounts of money in half an hour. So maybe I’m just jealous. Maybe I’m pissed because I absolutely love sex, and to get paid for it would be the most enjoyable and convenient thing. Maybe I’m even more pissed because there is virtually no market for lesbian prostitutes (actually, am I wrong about this? Let me know.).

Then I remember:

I’m 20. I’m not a slut. I have standards, and I’d rather be poor for the rest of my life.

We can immortalize something like this and think, ‘Wow, she is a powerful woman getting what she wants in life‘, but I say f*ck that. Hooking is the easiest job because SOMEONE will always want to stick something in your whatever. Stop being lazy and get a real job. You live in NEW YORK F*CKING CITY. You really can’t find a decent paying job?

I live in Boston, sh*t is expensive up here too, but I’m not hooking in the Common or Dorchester at night just to pay for my whims.

This kind of stuff just pisses me off. If it’s fake, and it’s some sort of experiment for some class at NYU, good job girl, you fooled a lot of people.

If it’s real, chick, you have my pity.

For you non- German speakers out there, Schadenfreude (sha-den-froy-duh) means to take pleasure in the pain of others. There’s been quite a lot of schadenfreude going about this week.

From the BBC to Reuters, the LA Times to the Washington Post, each media outlet has their own particular barb to throw at the Anti-Corruption Superhero turned Pervy-Scumbag Eliot Spitzer.

After I wrote my first article in which I too indulged in the name-calling and mud-slinging, I began to wonder: Why? Why are we all so happy to “Get” this guy?

He’s the guy you love to hate and hate to love

During his political career, first as NY Attorney General (1999-2006) and then as Govenor (2007- March 14, 2008), Spitzer became well known as the guy who said it like he saw it… and then some.

Despite this however, in a state known for its’ heavily corrupt political machines and in the post-Enron environment, many saw Spitzer as a real life crime-fighting hero.

As Attorney General, Spitzer delighted in taking down the big guys of white-collar crime.

In March 2005, his investigation into some shady business practices of AIG, the world’s second largest business conglomerate, led to the fall of its CEO Maurice “Hank” Greenberg, the 59th richest man in the US.

He also took on the former Chairman of the New York Stock Exchange (which is a not-for profit organization by the way) CEO Richard Grasso. In 2003, while still Chairman, Grasso got the NYSE to cash out his $140 million in pension money. While the ensuing scandal resulted in his resignation, in 2004, Attorney General Eliot Spitzer filed a lawsuit against Grasso to get back the money.

While such actions seem downright Robin Hood-esque, he received criticism for his methods. CNBC quotes Peter Wallison, a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute as stating,

“We never knew whether what he was showing us was in fact an example of corruption throughout the company or whether it was simply one or two people –. All we know is that the companies felt they had to settle with him quickly because their reputations were being destroyed.”

His political enemies received the same sort of treatment.

A 2007 article in New York Magazine examined Spitzer’s famous temper. Soon after he took office, Spitzer yelled at Republican minority leader, James Tedisco:

“I’m a f**king steamroller, and I’ll roll over you.”

In another notorious episode, he told Billy Magnarelli’s home paper that, “Bill Magnarelli is one of those unfortunate Assembly members who just raises his hand when he’s told to do so”. To the interviewer, Spitzer defended this, stating, “It fits into a larger rationale, which is that we believe in accountability.”

He’s beginning to sound like my 9th grade tennis coach whose rational was that if you embarrass someone enough they’ll suddenly get it right. (I’ve had a hatred of tennis every since).

Ironically, Spitzer told the interviewer,

“The cliché is, ‘You went to Albany as one of us, you came back as one of them,’ […] I’m not coming back as one of them.”

Schadenfreude… it clearly goes both ways. By all accounts, Spitzer seems to have thrived off of it. Dramatically closing down prostitution rings, facing off with finance moguls, showing political elites whose boss… It seems fair to say that Spitzer enjoyed making others feel small.

It’s now his turn.

The superhero, morality crusader, crime-fighting governor, a.k.a. Client-9, a guy willing to pay thousands of dollars for “high-end” prostitutes through an online service. Busted by the Feds and humiliated before all. How much smaller can one feel?

In his resignation statement, he makes it clear that he understands the depth of anger felt towards him:

“From those to whom much is given, much is expected. I have been given much: the love of my family, the faith and trust of the people of New York and the chance to lead this state. I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me. Over the course of my public life, I have insisted — I believe correctly — that people regardless of their position or power take responsibility for their conduct. I can and will ask no less of myself. For this reason, I am resigning from the office of governor.”

Farewell Robin Hood… sigh…why couldn’t you have been satisfied with Maid Marian?

What is it about politics that makes men think they can get away with being total scumbags?

I’m so incredibly sick of these scandals that make the gossip-ridden mags like US Weekly and OK! seem blasé.

The New York Times broke the original story yesterday. A wiretapping investigation identified New York Governor Eliot Spitzer as “Client 9” of the Emperor’s Club, a New Jersey prostitution ring. It seems he met with a variety of call girls at 7 or 8 times over the past few months.

According to the ABC news blog, Temeka Rachelle Lewis, remarked to the call girl involved with Spitzer (code name “Client-9”) the night before VALENTINE’S DAY (cough…scumbag…cough) that she had heard that,

“[Client-9] would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe – you know – I mean that . . . very basic things.”

I’m not sure what “very basic things” she refers to but it sounds fairly kinky…Nice one, Gov.

The Republican Party says it will impeach him if he fails to resign as Governor . According to Reuters, James Tedisco, leader of the Republicans in the state Assembly stated, “If he does not resign within the next 24 to 48 hours, we will prepare articles of impeachment to remove him.”

During his hastily held press conference on Monday March 10th, Spitzer made no mention of resigning and seemed to make an attempt to separate his political stance with his personal life. As the New York Post reports, he stated,

“I don’t believe politics in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas and the public good and doing what is best for the state of New York.”

Well, at this point, his resignation would definitely be the best thing for New York. The state has more important things to work on than the impeachment trial of a lecherous governor.

There really is no way this situation could look worse for the Governor.

Political Failure: As the Washington Post’s blog, The Trail notes, he’s a Clinton Superdelegate meaning that his indiscretions may very well impact the course of the 2008 Democratic National Convention. (imagine trying to live THAT down) Moreover, this has caused the country to flashback on Hilary’s position as the humiliated wife of a pervert husband—something I would imagine her campaign is not too thrilled about.

Hypocrite: He was elected on a “Law and Order” platform and since yesterday was best known for his anti-corruption and anti-crime stances. In 2002, he was named Time Magazine’s “Crusader of the Year”. Adding insult to injury—his triumphs included the breakup of several high-end prostitution rings! As the New York Post reports, following one of these busts, Spitzer jubilantly stated;

“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multi-tiered management structure […] it was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring, and now its owners and operators will be held accountable.”

Hmmmm… How does it feel, Gov, to be involved in “nothing more than a prostitution ring”…?

In 2005, Sptizer, then NY Attorney General, lambasted radio station WQHT, fining them over their on-air Smackfest contest in which women slapped each other to win prizes. At the time, the BBC quoted Spitzer saying,

“This agreement should be a wake-up call to all those in the entertainment industry who think outrageousness is a clever marketing strategy […] the law establishes set boundaries that cannot be crossed to protect our community’s health and safety.”

Perhaps Time Magazine should consider giving Spitzer a “Hypocrite of the Year” award for 2008. (Let’s hope to god there’s no one to contest him)

[Editor's Note: at the time of this posting, Spitzer has not yet resigned...but don't worry.  He will]