Q: As I sit here writing this, I’m confused at every feeling I am possibly feeling.. I have this “friend” we will call Fred. I had the biggest crush on Fred, even though he has a kid (this just makes me a bit uneasy, I’m only 21. I don’t want to be tied down like that if things did progress, but I regress.) I liked him, but he never seemed to initiate anything, but via texts he was flirty.

Two or three months went by and I was in a relationship that abruptly ended. Since nothing had progressed with Fred I felt like he was just a platonic friend and vented to him. He was amazingly supportive and said everything I wanted to hear (i.e. he was a real jerk, I don’t know what you ever saw in him, you deserve better, yadda yadda…). Well this kind of opened my eyes to Fred more and I developed a bit of a crush on him again.

He started coming over to my apartment to watch our favorite tv show. The first time we did this, we made out, things started getting intense and I ended it. He came over again and we made out again, but my roommate was here, so nothing else happened. When he left, we kissed and he promised he’d call and come pick me up the next day.

His plans changed, so we didn’t get together (but he had a good excuse, if that matters), then the next day I sent him a text and he responded, but not as quickly as he normally did. Now comes today, I didn’t text him to see if he would text me and he hasn’t. Am I being paranoid or is he trying to shoo me off?

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You date, you learn. And you’d think that the people you date will just vanish of the face off the earth, because it’s only polite, right? You dealt with the waves of nausea and anxiety during the end-phase, and so they should bother you no longer.

“Should” being the key word.

I’m a fan of amicably parting ways, sure, but when you pointedly don’t is the guaranteed time that son of a bitch will come back to haunt you. So as a preventative measure you weed them out. You try to be proactive and delete them from your phone—number, email, all of it, and even those text messages and voicemails you like to listen to.

Have faith, you’ll find a new distraction, let down your guard because this one’s different, and the cycle can repeat itself all over again. Joy. In any case, you make moves and move on, and the ex, or pseudo-ex, or whatever you called him is but a distant memory.

If you haven’t guessed by now, the weeding out can bite you in the ass. Please, dear readers, learn from my mistakes. Read More »

[When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but “Elisa’s” experience trumped all.

Currently, “Elisa” is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well, read the second installment HERE, and then read on…]

I am now the Google master.

This past week I’ve literally spent 6 of the 8 hours I’m here “researching” for things that do not exist whatsoever. I understand that she’s trying out the whole green idea, but lady, let’s be reasonable here. Recycled clear vinyl bags? Uh… hello? CLEAR VINYL. I have no idea what kind of company makes shopping bags that are clear, and vinyl, and recycled.

I must have gone through hundreds of “eco-friendly” tote bag sites that have all been rejected because they are not clear. LET’S COMPROMISE HERE… FOR THE EARTH! Aside from researching for these vinyl bags, I also researched sample cups (which also had to be clear), and eco-friendly ice cream cups.

Yeah… eco- friendly my ass.

She needs to give that dream up. Read More »

I am not good with confrontation. I am, however, quite good at ignoring the situation at hand. If you ignore something long enough, it goes away, right? So far, my theory has been working just fine.

A few months ago, I went on two dates with a perfectly nice guy. There was nothing wrong with him. In fact, on paper, he was very much my type. But the sparks weren’t there and I just wasn’t very excited by him. So, when he called for a third date, I didn’t answer. He called again and I didn’t answer again. I picked up the phone several times to call him back, but then I just didn’t.

I went to my friends for help and they offered a variety of different opinions. Some of my friends said I should just call him and say my schedule suddenly got busy and I didn’t know when I would be free. Some said to call and be honest telling him I just wasn’t feeling it. And some claimed it was OK for me not to return his calls. “He’ll get the point,” they said. “And nobody has to be made uncomfortable.” Not one to make people uncomfortable, I took their advice and continued not calling him.

After attempting one more phone call to me, he got the point and didn’t call again. My life went on. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like a bad person, but I try to remind myself that I saved us both a great deal of discomfort.

So what that I live in constant fear I could run into him at any point? I took the easy way out and it’s better for now. I’ll worry about seeing him when I see him.

Now excuse me while I hide behind this lamppost.

There’s a new report out there saying that when it comes to “flirty text messaging”, guys reply to a text from “their crush” usually within a hour, while girls wait an average of 1 hour, 19 minutes.

Even though this report comes to us from across the pond, I can totally see those numbers making sense in America as well. Why do women wait longer to reply to texts or missed calls from their crush?

Because we don’t want to seem clingy and desperate.

Society has done a number on us when it comes to our supposed frantic need for a man in our lives. The worst kind of women, magazines and TV shows and movies explain, is the desperate woman.

The girl who’s too eager to fall in love. The chick who’s all too happy to adhere herself to her new man and never let go. The woman who cluthes her cell phone to her chest, checking it every couple of seconds to see if her guy has called, ready to fill his screen with smiley faces and exclamation points.

Therefore, we have this equation:

Replying too fast to a call or text = desperate, desperate = bad, so replying too quickly to even the friendliest of texts?

You got it. Bad. Read More »

I know, I know. Everyone is using their cell phone to date these days. Texting is totally 2007. It’s quick communication without the hassle of actually dealing with a voice on the other end.

But I hate it. Especially when it’s combined with dating.

Way back in the day, it was common practice for people to speak on the phone after a first date—or not. Either a duo chatted a few days later or someone decided to just “forget” to call, making it pretty obvious what the future held. A call meant “I like you, let’s go out again” no call meant “eh. You lost me at hello.”

But now, with the increased popularity of texting, people can walk the line and make everything 100 times more confusing. Sort of like the person but not sure if you really feel like going out again? Send a random, friendly text message. Cover your ass in case you bump into them on the street.

“You’re pretty cool and we should talk soon.”

That’s the gist of a text I received a few days ago after going out on a first date last weekend. But no phone call followed the text. Not even an email. Just some random, noncommittal, rated G words typed into a phone in the middle of the day. Read More »