[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

College. The 4, for some of us 5, greatest of our glory years. You’re not a girl, yet not quite a debt-ridden woman (yes, I just made a Britney Spears reference, didn’t you know…she’s back! So it’s okay.) You’ll take a lot of memories with you from the journey from duckling Freshman to swan Senior, but there will also be some regrets. Some of those regrets are going to haunt you for the rest of your life, or until you get a good paying job, which in this economy might mean the rest of your life. And of those regrets, potentially chief among them are not having sex in places you wish you would have. Once you graduate, these passion possibilities are past their expiration date. They’re gone…gone…gone. So here’s your Uncle Dude trying to make sure you have the most fulfilling experience you can. Here are 11 places you should have sex before you graduate:

initiating the gallery...

And there you have it folks, not 10, not 11, but 12 places to have sex before you graduate. Put this list on your dorm room door and start checking them off. Trust me, there are parts of the college experience that aren’t essential, I can make an argument that any of these absolutely are. The real questions: which of these have you already done, and did I miss any goodies?

With honors,

The Dude

[Lead image via Diego Cervo / Shutterstock]

Spring is finally here and I couldn’t be happier! The only problem is that I can hardly stand to sit in class when it’s sunny and beautiful outside. The moment the seasons started to change, all of the sun-deprived library dwellers emerged on campus. Suddenly, every inch of grass on my campus was taken up by people enjoying the sun. Don’t miss out on the action! Here are 8 cliche things you can do on campus now that the sun is out. Read More »

It’s the summer after you’ve graduated high school. You’ve finished your exams. You’ve finished the college application process. You have your diploma, you’ve taken the pictures in the cap and gown and you finally decided on a college. So now all you want to do is kick back and relax and enjoy an entire summer free of responsibility and full of hanging with your friends before you each go your separate ways to start some new adventures.

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was there four short years ago. And because I’ve been there already I know what comes next. So I thought I’d give you a little advice. Because all those papers that came along with your acceptance letter, they weren’t there just to stuff the envelope. Starting college involves a lot more than checking off the box next to “I will attend.” So here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Send in a picture for your id. Chances are you already have a form telling you how to do this. So send in the picture. And make it a good one. One you like. One you won’t regret four months later, or better yet, four years later, when you’re a senior using an id that looks nothing like you because you no longer have pink hair.

2. Activate your college e-mail address. Again you were probably sent a whole bunch of papers when you sent in your acceptance . One of them probably tells you how to activate your e-mail. Do that. So you’ll get all those e-mails different offices will no doubt be sending you. And so you can join your school’s Facebook network.

3. Get in touch with your roommate. So it’s not an awkward first meeting on move in day. So you know what you’re getting into. And so you don’t end up with two refrigerators and no microwave. Plan ladies, and plan well.

4. Check the parking policies. Find out if your campus allows freshman to bring cars on campus. And if they do, find out if you have to pay for your parking pass. And then sign up for a parking pass. If you have a car, that is.

5. Check and double check that move in date. Season four. Episode one of Gilmore Girls. Rory wrote the wrong date down. Chaos ensued.

Read More »

It’s only the third week of summer and already I’m missing college. Yup, in 21 short days I’ve tasted enough of the real world to know I am nowhere near ready for it. What happened to the days of water wings, Disney-shaped iced pops and smeary sunscreen? Now that was real relaxation! I’m having trouble calling this a summer “vacation” when every day requires I get out of bed earlier than I did for classes! Thanks Mom & Dad for insisting I get a part-time job. As for all that responsibility and financial independence you want me to learn? Gross!

Let’s just fast-forward through the monotony of June and endless humidity of July. August means school spirit, classes and fun. And you know what? You can’t get me back to campus soon enough!

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For a lot of my life, I’ve been a religious person. I went on mission trips every summer with my church, I was on my church’s Youth Board, and I attended mass every Sunday (oh yeah, I’m Catholic). So when I got to college, one of the first things I did was to see what campus ministries were available. While other girls were rolling out of bed at 1:00 pm on Sundays and going for a hungover brunch, I was in the student cinema with about a hundred other students praising God.

Because I became so involved with my campus ministry, I met a lot of friends with my same beliefs and morals. While this shouldn’t be a problem in my life, it became one almost from the very beginning. Once people find out that I’m religious, they start to make a lot false assumptions about myself, as well as my friends.

Assumption #1: We are holier than thou

The first thing I always hear is that we are “holier than thou.”  I’ve learned through my experiences that a lot of other Christians have trouble going to church. They say that if they went, it would make them feel like they have to act holy all the time. So this makes it even difficult for me to really express everything I feel about God. I don’t want people pointing out examples of how I’m not leading the most holy life. And I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes it’s easier for me to pick one persona or another. Either the quiet, Christian girl who won’t talk about her problems or the troubled party-goer. A lot of people will argue that it’s not worth going to church because all the pews are filled with a bunch of hypocrites. Sure it’s a valid point, but they’re forgetting why we go to church in the first place.

We go to church because frankly, we aren’t good at being a holy people. We need God (because we aren’t perfect), so we seek Him in church. My friends and I are just like you and we won’t judge you because you might make different choices than us. I have never condemned people for their life choices, because that is one thing the Bible tells us to never do. What it does tell us to do is love everyone. As a Christian, I try to view people as God views them – with unconditional love.

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There are few things I love in life more than holidays. Perhaps that is unhealthy, but I do not care. And, amid the holidays that I passionately adore, there are some that rank higher than others. Halloween is one of my favorites. I love the autumnal weather, the unnecessary amounts of chocolate, and having one day to claim “my life is a masquerade” and not be greeted with WTF looks.

I love it so much, in fact, that I have decided to write a poem. Perhaps a sonnet would have been more appropriate, considering the extent of my obsession with Halloween, but an ode was what I came up with. So, read with care and enjoy.

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Halloween in college is a big deal.  Major, really.  You may have thought you hit your trick-or-treating peak in the 3^rd grade when you wrapped yourself in tinfoil and went out as leftovers, but think again.  Unlike Christmas, the 4^th of July, and Thanksgiving, everyone’s on campus for this most hallowed of evenings and the booze will absolutely be flowing (perhaps in cauldrons).

From fog machines to technicolor jello shots, there’s a lot of stimuli to process and as a freshman it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  But novice or otherwise, you’ve got to keep your head, wigged or otherwise, in the game.  Here’s what you can expect as your favorite bars and frat houses become unrecognizable with silly string…

A General Lack of Pants
From dozens of Risky Business-era Tom Cruises to sexy cats/bees/fairies/mice, there will be maximum leggage come October 31^st.  I’m not sure what it is about “everyone dress up crazy” that translates to things being purely pants-optional, but it’s a fact: ass cheeks will show, cellulite will be on parade, hairy man thighs will make a one-night-only appearance.

Dry Ice
Is it edible?  Will it kill you?  Why did those stupid pledges have to go stick it in the jungle juice and ruin a perfectly good concoction?  No, it doesn’t look like witches’ brew.  And the fact that he’s 22 and just drew that connection makes you question his sanity.

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