Everyone who’s anyone is soaking up the sun in Cannes.

Confirmed: Gaga is a girl.

Did Jesse James want to get caught?

Can Kendra and Hank survive the sex tape(s)?

This makes Monday so much better.

Want. This. Dress. Now.

Spotted: Johnny Depp lookin’ fiiine at Cannes.

Now that’s a commencement speech.

Lindsay Lohan “lost” her passport, stuck in France.

Uh oh, Heroes is in trouble!

Who thought this was a good idea?

TMI, Will Smith and Jada!

While guys love ranking foreign and domestic beer, I love ranking foreign and domestic men. Which is why the Cannes Film Festival is my favorite time of year. Gorgeous men from near and far come together (in tuxedos!) to look into my soul the camera and look super fine. And even though Carey Mulligan tried to subvert my stalking by standing in front of every. camera. in the country of France (seriously, where did this girl come from?), I was able to round up a few choice shots of Cannes’ finest.

Ryan Gossling has left his Notebook days far behind, but thankfully retained that scruffy, wanna-jump-him-in-the-rain quality we all loved so much.  For those of you who prefer your guys tall, dark, and aged to perfection, look no further than Javier Bardem.  Though Penelope Cruz has already called dibs, you can still dream.  Also on the list are Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, who will woo you in languages you can’t even understand; Shia LaBeouf; French hottie Gaspard Ulliel; Pharrell Williams; and a mustachioed Josh Brolin.

It’s Monday. You’re tired, over-worked and coming down from a Skittles high. So just sit back, relax, and take in a little Cannes culture. [Click on the picture to get some more of that sweet, sweet lovin'.]

Rumor has it super-hotties Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp were also in attendance, but pictures have yet to surface. If you happen to find them, send ‘em my way. I’ve got a long, lonely night ahead of me.

Brush up on your text lingo.

The Gosselins do counseling.

How to break up with a dude.

Bisexuality is the new black.

Leanne Rimes is happily married, OK!?

What does Brad and Angie’s body language say?

Nike’s version of the gladiator sandal.

Sex sells. Here’s why we buy.

Blake Lively takes a vacay.

Tips for dealing with those under-eye circles.

a) Best friends

b) Roommates

c) Dating

d) Engaged

A: All of the above, apparently. HAHA, GOT YOU GOOD, F*CKERS!

But seriously. According to thesuperficial.com, Perez, the Daily Mail, the New York Post, and probably a hoard of other gossip mongers that I haven’t bothered to look at, Lohan and Ronson were spotted kissing on P. Diddy’s boat in Cannes this weekend. The Post also reports that that the two ladies have moved in together, and word on the street is that Lohan was seen at the D&G party in Cannes wearing a diamond ring on her engagement finger.

Rumors started floating around last year that Ronson, an actual factual lesbian, and Lohan were dating, but until these recent developments there wasn’t a lot of evidence to back it up. Leshan’s (no? no dice? alright) reps deny that she’s “gotten in to the catnip” so to speak, and maintain that her and Ronson are just BFFs, but these pics suggest otherwise.

Personally, I think the story here is that Lindsay Lohan is a shameless attention whore and she’s using Miss Carpetmuncher McGee to get her freckley self on the cover of more magazines, but that’s just my opinion. Feel free to voice your own.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a new celebrity couple compound name to assemble…

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Vote for your favorite here.

Which starlet is sporting the hottest Cannes couture?