Q: I met a guy about six months ago, we hit it off and after a few weeks we started hooking up. At first we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, making out every chance we got and having sleepovers every weekend. The sex was amazing, but I never orgasmed. I still really enjoyed being with him, it just wouldn’t happen for us no matter what he did or how hard he tried. This went on for about a month and a half and then he started losing interest in messing around, now we only hook up about once a month. Could it have anything to do with the fact that he couldn’t make me orgasm? And why is that so important to guys? It’s not like he couldn’t make me feel good without that.

A: Oh, the ever-so-popular “wtf happened?” question. Without knowing every background detail of your relationship, I’d say, sure, maybe he’s distancing himself because he’s hung up on the big O. But we all know it can be pretty much anything. Guys fall off the face of the earth every day for every reason imaginable, and in my experience, it’s rarely for the reason we think.

You say you still hook up about once a month–who’s initiating these hookups? Is he still showing the same amount of enthusiasm? And most importantly, have the two of you ever talked about the (non)orgasm issue? I’ve been in your shoes–I’m not super easy to please, and it seems like some guys have trouble understanding that sex can be awesome for us without an orgasm, so I usually tend to mention it in a light-hearted way, either be saying something like “no worries, I’m hard to please, but we’ll get there” or by laughing about it if the dude is the first to make a joke about it. Read More »

“I’m so jealous” my friend confided after I had told her about my most recent spectacular sexperience. “I can’t orgasm from sex.”

What?! No orgasm? From sex? Is that some sort of really mean trick? Is Mother Nature f–king with her? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Clearly this was not normal; she should find a new man, or talk to a doctor, or something.

But it is normal. Really normal.

Like, 75% of women, normal.

In fact, my uncanny ability to “thoroughly enjoy” sex (multiple times, on some occasions) seems to be the abnormal in this situation. I am a member of a very exclusive group; the Orgasmers, if you will.

So, I am curious. Are you a card carrying member, or, like my unfortunate friend, are you a member of the silent (in bed) majority?