(SARA, 23, enters a dive bar with a small group of friends. She is the last one in.

The second she steps in, a middle-aged guy in a leather jacket, the bouncer, stops her at the door.)

MIDDLE-AGED GUY

ID.

(Our heroine is surprised surprised because this is a serious dive bar, and not a single one of her friends got carded before her.)

SARA

Just me?

BOUNCER

Yep.

Sara shows him her ID. He looks it at very carefully, gives it back, and then smiles and nods Sara in.

Once inside, Sara finds her friends.)

SARA

I can’t belive the bouncer carded me.

FRIEND

What bouncer?

(Sara turns to point at the bouncer, but now there’s no one standing at the door.

They leave soon after and Sara spots the “bouncer” drinking with his friends.) Read More »

Yesterday I was having a lovely day with my boyfriend. We ate pancakes for breakfast. We went for a walk around our neighborhood. We talked dreamily about the future the way you do on a sunny Saturday morning.

And then, out of no where, the conversation turned sour.

I don’t remember how we got there, but for some incomprehensible reason, the conversation led him to say this:

BOYFRIEND: Well, you do have a little tummy.

He unwisely pats my tummy.

ME: (turning into a shrieking monster) WHAT?!

BOYFRIEND: No, I love it! It’s cute!

ME: IT’S CUTE THAT I’M FAT?!

BOYFRIEND: No! No, that’s not what I meant! It’s just that you’re getting older–

ME: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!! Read More »