Dear Ladies: Letters from Dudes (All of Us)

Dear Ladies,

Men here, as a collective. We thought we’d get together and write you guys some letters about a few things that we’ve been thinking about. Today’s letter is about us men being confused! Yes, smirk, and press your tongue against your canine (its hot).

We’re confused about what you lovely ladies are wearing in the gym. More specifically, why you’re looking so damn hot in up in that! To us, the gym is about a few things. It’s about working out, making loud grunting noises (FYI, makes you stronger), and sleeveless narcissism.

Or at least, that’s what we go there for. We aren’t specifically there to look at, or pick up, women. There’s an assumption that most of us aren’t going to look our best in there anyways, so we aren’t super concerned with finding ladies to woo. But hey, thats us, we’re dudes and we think a certain way. Beyond ‘the gym isn’t for dating’ we also have a few collective rules that we feel like you may or may not have given us.

1. Gawking is creepy
2. Sweaty dudes are creepy
3. Gawking, sweaty dudes are super-duper creepy.

So you could see our confusion when you ladies show up to do some leg lifts or swiss ball crunches in what basically adds up to a bikini with more support. We want to be clear, we like you in bikinis. Hell, we love you in those things. But when you wear those in the gym, and you’re being all active, you’re really creating a dangerous situation for us. Again, we’ve got focused, mostly one-track minds. Here’s a short list of things we cannot do at the same time. Read More »