I always love coming back from break and seeing all my friends. But even though I can’t wait to see certain people, I will do my best to avoid these five “friends “who seem to appear ever year.

The Unnaturally Tan One

While I sat at home watching Full House marathons curled up under my brand-new Snuggie, this person sat on Caribbean beaches for the entire break. While my legs are streaked shades of orange from drugstore tanners, she is glowing with a tan that seems to defy her race. As if I wasn’t already feeling like Casper’s paler cousin, standing next to her makes me feel downright clinically albino.

The Reccesion-Proof One

This holiday season started with my parents interrupting all my wish-list ramblings with words like “recession,” and “depression.” My wants went from an iPhone to a few new Chap Sticks and a (store brand) chocolate bar. So it’s even more un-fun this year to watch this friend unpack all of her new things: an entirely new wardrobe that matches her Blackberry Storm that she can play with while watching her new flat screen. She’s offering to share her new boots and all I can give her in exchange is some relief for her chapped lips.

The Debbie Downer One

My break wasn’t very exciting but I don’t have any legitimate complaints. But she does. A simple, “how was your break” turns into a two-hour impromptu therapy session while she goes on and on about everything from her mom getting laid off to her dog getting hit by a car. While at first I can awkwardly pat her back and offer my condolences, it gets increasingly less easy as she talks about her Christmas tree burning down, the loss of her lucky penny, and her cat’s unhealthy addiction to alcohol. Read More »

So, my boyfriend Mario Lopez–jealous much?–was recently named People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008. The dude is like a fine wine which only gets better with age…that I also want to have sex with. Anyway, it got me thinking—who are the top five former teen heartthrobs that time has not been as kind to?

5. Mike Lookinland

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby—you were so freaking adorable on “The Brady Bunch,” so WTF happened? Your big bro Peter marries America’s Next Top Model and this is how you carry on the family tradition? Sure you didn’t get “a lot” of camera time during the show, but it was because you were so cute that the producers had no idea what kind of shenanigans to throw you into; they didn’t want to risk a single frown line on your perfect little punum. Read More »