Don’t lie.

It’s ok – everyone gets curious to see what and who is out there. Someone who wants you to wear a diaper? Check. Someone who likes big ladies? Check.

Some of us may have even found ourselves lonely on a Saturday night when everyone else was out and figured someone else out there in Craigslist land was lonely too. Just me? Ok…

Anyways, everyone who has perused the Casual Encounters knows there is one thing you can be sure of: lots and lots of peen. On the bed, on the chair, in front of the bathroom mirror; peen, peen, peen. The guys over at Funny or Die know it, and they created this video to show what goes on behind the scenes. I would post it here, but it’s just… wrong. Hilarious, but wrong. Check it out.

Usually, we try to have some kind of theme to our Wednesday Night series, but when we went digging through the Casual Encounters this week, we spent so much time being supremely grossed out that it was all we could do to keep ourselves from falling on the floor and pouring printer ink into our eyes. I mean, there was some gross sh*t on the internet this week. For realz.

Below are just a bunch of people we really hope we never meet.

Guy Who May or May Not Work At Costco Wants To Help You Promote Infidelity

Hey there. Thanks for reading my ad. I’m looking for a stay at home mom, that is already in a relationship, but just wants to have a lover on the side. You know the drill, your husband goes to work, and you have to watch the kids. But when the kids are at school, or go to their friends house, you have some free time to yourself. Then you fantasize about hooking up with the FedEx driver or that young guy that helped you at Costco. Well if that’s you, lets meet up.

If you can’t keep a secret, or if you are single, please don’t reply.

I own a pretty decent size company, so discretion is a must.

He Obviously TiVo’s ‘Little People, Big World’

Handsome multi ethnic male

6ft 200lbs muscular and hung 9 inches seeks a wild and kinky open minded little person, midget, dwarf who is interested in a sexual relationship. I prefer thick and curvy bbw types.

If interested in partying some time, lets trade pix, discrete here with plenty to trade.

This Dude Has Found the Missing Food Group…Apparently

Worldclass cunningluinguist [Editor's Note: Fantastic word choice!!] will get you off. believe it.

addicted/obsessed.teachable. & I can host if you like. same day/night meets only. no pic exchanges, I DO talk, keeps my tongue limber. going down….

Phoenix Guy Uses A) Caps and B) Bossy Statements Just A Little Too Much (but come on cut him some slack he’s bored and horny!!)

I AM HOME AND REALLY BORED! I WANNA CHILL WITH SOMEONE AND WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS! IM 5’5 SHORT BLK HAIR, HAZEL EYES, AVERAGE BUILD, WEIGH 130 HAVE SIX AND A HALF INCHES UNCUT AND THICK, IF YOU WANNA MEET UP SEND ME A MESSAGE AND ILL HIT U UP!

I HAVE PICS UPON REQUEST! COME ON GUYS REALLY BORED AND HORNY!

This Guy Knows That Nothing Breaks Up A Monotonous Day Better Than Porn

Looking for a place to hang out during work hours .. maybe drink a beer watch some porn .. stroke my 8 inch c*ck ….

i am 5’11 188 lbs liteskin brn eyes a sweet smile and even sweeter lips …. let’s break up the monotony ….

What happened with this little encounter that caused it to score such high points? Well, apparently, a homeless lady in Oregon City, OR was trying to innocently “pitch a tent” (who uses that saying with a straight face anymore?) when she came across what she thought was a rape in progress (a man looked to be “sexually assaulting a bound and naked woman”). The homeless lady got the cops involved, they came to save the victim, but ended up doing nothing more than breaking up a consensual fantasy that was being acted out by two people who had met over Craigslist.

Upon seeing the law approaching, the man and the woman fled (I always thought it would be hard to flee when one is bound and gagged, but whatev), and once they were caught, explained to the cops that the reason they ran is because the dude involved in the awkward public rape fantasy…was married.

I give his wife a 9.9 for picking such a fine specimen of the male race.

We’ve talked about Craigslist countless times before. It’s glorious and hilarious and you can buy chairs or sell your cat. However, after a little chat with our hormonal Coed office buddies, we realized that there was an untapped ocean of entertainment on CL known as Casual Encounters. We knew all about Missed Connections (and may have looked to see, from time to time, if anyone had MC’ed us…which they never did), but had always assumed that the Casual Encounters section of Cragislist was full of skeevy people and penis pics.

So yeah, it’s full of skeevy people and ‘peen pics, but it’s also full of the strange and the weird and the desperate. How entertaining!

PS: We changed the titles and photos to fit our liking (and keep nasty ‘peen pics off our site). It’s better this way. Trust us.

Boston Man Really Supports Bush

Hi.

Interested? Let me know

LA Girl Obviously Too Perfect To Be Anything But A Porn SpamBot – But Act Like An Idiot and Email Her Anyway

I’m shy, inexpereinced in almost every way. i enjoy long days playing tennis, cool nights talking and early morning jogs. I am a fun loving, energy filled girl looking for someone who can keep up. I love to do just about anything, but some of my favorite things to do are ride 4 wheelers, hang out with friends, play games, fish, listen to country music while cruising the back roads, bowling, camping, and play sports (soccer, basketball, softball, mud football, etc.) I’m not all energy though, I do like to have quiet evenings at the house, watch TV and just hang out. Send me your pic and I’ll send you mine!

Portland Guy Is [Sexy] Not Homophobic [Sexy] And Really [Sexy] Into the Word Sexy And [Sexy] Light Drinking

I’m hoping to meet a sexy couple for sexy fun times. I’m a bachelor, very open minded and not looking to be in a relationship. I’ve done this before and it really worked out well.

It turns me on when two guys service a lady and all her sexy needs. Im not homophobic if the husband and I touch while servicing her. I love double penetration if the lady is up for it.

If you are a couple who is in shape to HWP, non smokers/light drinkers and STD free then please send me a note with a photo of both of you in it.
I will reply with my photos and contact information.
Hope to hear from you!

Las Vegas Dude Wants You To Taste The Next Level Of Your Sensuality (He also did not lose his brains yet so don’t worry)

I’m an open-minded, but did not lose my brains yet! I like to travel, visit parks, drive for hours. I love roads and trips. I have strong personality and more often than not I know exactly what I want. I was in army and I like things to be in order, but I also learned that often we just need to go with the flow. I like to wear suit (but FL makes it often difficult). I like sports and consider sex as one of them. Any type of sex! I can never get enough.

I guarantee you (as probably other 100% of men in here), I can last… Often because I like to see my partner satisfied first. What it means for you? You get an extra time to try new things, new ideas (please feel free to share). You can feel longer and probably even get a taste of the next level of your sensuality. I’m clean, D/D free. I respect your privacy and your needs. And I ask for the same in return. I like to talk to people and listen to their stories. Would you like to tell me yours?

A Man I Am Seriously Considering Emailing

Hey there, looking for a laid back, drama free girl that is interested in having her feet worshiped in exchange for me doing your chores

(Yes, that is what I am hoping he looks like….)

Known as a “dating site for singles who enjoy being single,” OnlineBootyCall.com promises to help you find the “pieces without the puzzle.” Thank God, because I’m always complaining that I just want a whole pile of mismatched puzzle pieces without actually being able to put them together.

The website is free to use and promises that nobody will contact you unless you accept a booty call invitation. They just ask that you follow their booty call commandments listed at their site. You know, stuff like: “though shalt get out before the sun rises,” and “though shalt kiss anything except my mouth” and of course, “There shall be no cuddling–ever!” I wasn’t aware that booty calls always had to be so, um, impersonal.

I realize it can be difficult to find your soul mate, and that’s why so many people turn to online dating. But really, people, is it that hard to find a booty call? I could just go to the bar down the street if I was looking for a little action, no strings attached. And if that was too much work, I could easily turn to the “casual encounters” section of Cragslist.

So I probably won’t be utilizing the services of OnlineBootyCall.com any time soon (clearly I have my own ways of accessing booty calls…um, totally kidding. I’d rather find the “piece” that might potentially complete the “puzzle” some day), but maybe the site is right for you. If you’ve always dreamed of online dating, without the actual dating part, check it out, but remember, no kissing on the mouth!

The Casual Encounters section on Craigslist is exactly what it seems like it would be; a place for horny people to post messages explaining their horniness. The messages range from the semi-innocent:

“Good looking white corporate exec looking to find an attractive woman for daytime trysts…let’s take the time to get to know one another…I’m open minded about age and race….tell me something about yourself and perhaps we can chat…Have a great day…”

To the completely blunt:

“Average looking male, D/D free, slim athletic build looking for an average looking female, D/D free between the ages of 25 and 38…I would like to meet you for a sexual encounter. We can meet for a drink if interested”

To the weird:

“a 28 yr old, 6’0, apx 200 lbs, very attractive, bronze complexion, tall dark and handsome type, clean, multicultured, NYC native, urban young man…here to meet an NYC girl to hang out with me while she wears long colorful socks…I’m seriously just looking for a cutie to spend time with who will let me admire her in her socks (full clothed is fine, some nice shorts or skirt is a plus)…”

Occasionally there’s a picture attached with either half of someone’s body or a full frontal. Although I find the whole thing strange and uncomfortable, there are lots of people who enjoy the anonymity of no strings attached sex. It’s exciting, a little dangerous, simple, easy…and a surefire way to turn a boring night into something more—without the expensive, time consuming bar hopping.

Fire up those keyboards, kids. One night stands just became a lot easier.