So, I’m the queen of bad decision making. I probably shouldn’t embrace this to the degree that I do, but screw it; I think with my vagina sometimes and I love being spontaneous.

When my ex-boyfriend offered to buy me a plane ticket to go visit him for a few days, I knew exactly what was up. We’d had some sexy online conversations during the recent months (in fact, I even blogged about our sexy confrontations a few times before) and sex, after all, was what had kept us together (in my opinion) when we were dating. I accepted the offer, hopped on the plane and wrote the whole thing off as a vacation in my mind, even if nothing more happened.

But of course more did happen. Of course we had sex multiple times in multiple ways in multiple places. Of course we cuddled and reflected on days of old. Of course things felt the way they felt when we dated.

Yes, I know that everyone thinks this is a bad idea, but after having spent some time and thought on this recent voyage of mine, I believe ex-sex can be done, if you do it right. If you are considering it, don’t write it off just yet; I’ve got some tips for a successful trip down memory lane: Read More »

I am an expert in awkward situations. When I first meet people, more often than not, I leave a horrible first impression. I am similarly awkward in my attempts to be a part of the dating scene.

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”

Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short. Read More »

He wants to do me.

He wants to do me not.

He wants to do me…

…Then never call again, do me, then tell all of his friends, do me, then flip out about my guy friends…the list goes on. If only the “He wants to do me” sentence could exist without the predictable post sex behavior, I would be living in a much more sexually satisfying world.

The problem with most guys who I have encountered is this: They really believe that if they have intercourse with a girl, she will flip out and suddenly be in love. Maybe all of the guys I know have simply given themselves too much credit because I’m always recycling the same kind of guy over and over again: Artsy and ARROGANT.

I suppose that, for me, there’s a degree of truth to this. But at the end of the day, I don’t want to be in love with anyone. Being in love is a shamefully painful experience to me, honestly. I’d rather be in the casual sex club…but the older I get..the harder it is to stay a member of that club. Read More »

I’d like to begin this week’s Nip/Tuck thought session with a few quotes:

“I don’t date guys with gray pubes.” (Thank you Eden.)

“Make love to me Christian; take care of me.” (Make up your mind already Julia — men or women?)

Both lady’s comments made me wonder two things: (1) Are older men less capable of having casual sex? (2) Do all women really want to be taken care of/feel safe?

The Eden/Sean thing was inevitable even though I’d always thought he was too good a guy to do an 18 year-old. However, I was surprised to learn that he wanted more than just a physical relationship with Eden. After resisting her for so long, wouldn’t he want it to be more of a “wham, bam, thank ya m’am” kinda situation? Read More »

You know when you walk into your dorm room and get a little skeeved out because it’s like, real obvious someone just had sex in there?

Well, apparently, there are people who want that slight but noticeable smell around them at all times.

Vulva Original (I’m not joking) is one of the newest sexual oddities to hit the market.

Its developers insist Vulva “is not a perfume”. Instead, they describe their product as “a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.”

Ew.

Developed in Germany, where a “research team” is working on complimenting the original scent with two new smells, “Exotic” and “Eighteen” (I mean, Jesus!).

Vulva Original doesn’t have much media surrounding it besides an explicit website with lots of vague references to sex. Read More »

School is almost back in session. Time to pack your bags, kiss your parents goodbye and head back up to the land of beer, boys and late night dance parties with your friends. Oh yeah; and learning.

Before you hit the party scene in search of that take-home hottie – or after-a-few-beers hottie – let me impart a little advice. There is no reason anyone else should make the same mistakes I did.

1. Lock Your Door: After moving into our phat new pad my junior year, my 7 roommates and I decided to throw a Welcome Week fiesta. During the evening, I met a boy and invited him back to my room to check out my brand new bed. We ended up giving it a test drive; clothes were strewn around the room and things started getting heavy.

I was getting ready to go downtown when the lights switched on and my roommate was standing in my doorway with a few friends she was showing around our new house. If that wasn’t awkward enough, on the way out one of them yelled, “Lauren! Did you lose weight? You look really skinny!”

2. Get the Guy’s Name: After celebrating the end of exams I hit the bar (hard) and eyed a cute boy across the room. I took him home, had my fun and he ended up staying over until the morning. Being the nice girl that I am, I offered to drive him home. Being the drunken idiot that I am, I forgot his name. As he went to leave my car he asked for my number and offered to give me his.

I didn’t want to ask for his name so I told him I was too drunk to type in the number. “But you just drove me home.” Talk about an uncomfortable silence. He got out of the car and never called. Read More »

After a month of sharing some good advice and a couple of weeks answering your questions about anything and everything, I’ve decided it’s time to open myself up to you guys a bit. Here goes:

Recently, I had what I’ve decided to call “Last Resort” sex, and I’m not at all happy about it.

You see, for the last year or so, I’ve enjoyed single life to the fullest extent. Sure, I’ve always been on the lookout for someone that I really liked, but for the most part, I never had any qualms about sleeping with a girl to whom I may not have been necessarily attracted. Girls often wonder how guys can sleep with girls they don’t like, and I guess I’ve just always been able to detach myself from the emotions that come hand in hand with sex. Read More »

It really is the ideal situation for a college-aged guy. Being able to hook up with a friend on a consistent basis, without having to deal with all the annoyances that come with a relationship? Sign me up! Being permitted to hit the bars to look for a new hook-up, but knowing you can always call up your friend if all else fails? That’s solid gold!

Yes, having a friend with benefits really is an amazing luxury in college. But is a true FWB situation really feasible? Not so much.

Far too often, these types of relationships begin very innocently. You know, with a couple of shots of the Friz Vodka, and maybe a beer or two (ok, maybe not so innocently). Before you know it, you and your friend are getting hot and heavy, rolling between the sheets, and individually thinking about whether or not you want to do it again. Of course you want to do it again. You’re getting ass from a guy that you’re friends with. A guy you obviously like and feel comfortable around. Read More »

Ah, Craigslist. I have used you to find an apartment, multiple jobs, a free chair, babysitting clients, and even acting gigs. You’re my portal to the world. A best friend who has the answer to everything. Even sexual frustration.

The Casual Encounters section on Craigslist is exactly what it seems like it would be; a place for horny people to post messages explaining their horniness. The messages range from the semi-innocent:

“Good looking white corporate exec looking to find an attractive woman for daytime trysts…let’s take the time to get to know one another…I’m open minded about age and race….tell me something about yourself and perhaps we can chat…Have a great day…”

To the completely blunt: Read More »

Did you know that millions of people have been using their cell phones as a dating service? Um yeah, well I just heard about it too. Absolutely proposterous, right?!

With the rise in popularity of online dating now at an all-time high, it’s not news to anyone that we have access to just about anything, literally right at our fingertips. From finding directions, to ordering take-out, to searching for a job, to making celebrities out of nobodies, the internet does everything for us, including helping us hook up.

And as the good old web has joined forces with Blackberrys and Palm Pilots and all the other freaks of technology that seem to do everything in the name of communication, cell phones can now be used to access dating services from anywhere at anytime – making the booty call or booty graze that much more convenient for everyone! Yes, hard to believe, but it is now even easier to have casual, spur-of-the-moment sex. Read More »