Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I never thought I’d be writing you, but I’ve been reading your advice for quite some time and I think you might be the only person I trust to give this kind of advice. To sum up my situation, I have a best friend who I’ve had since my first semester of freshman year. This best friend of mine, P, has a girlfriend that he has been with for over two years. She doesn’t go to our school and I’ve only met her once.

To give you all the details, P and I are very close and before we were really friends, he cheated on his girlfriend with me, he later found out that she has cheated on him too. You should also know that I now have a serious boyfriend that I’ve been with for almost a year, so this is not a jealousy issue. P and I are always together and people have begun to associate us with one another.

I had known from the start that P’s girlfriend is a serious shoplifter. I’m talking strolling out of department stores with a $900 dress on her arm. I have never been able to reconcile this with myself and I recently brought it up with him. He explained to me that she is from an underprivileged family and that I would never be able to understand her situation. I know that there are all kinds of people that are in bad situations who still have a basic sense of right or wrong. P blew up when I told him this. He told me that for the sake of our friendship, I should never speak poorly of his girlfriend again. I wasn’t meaning to insult her, but I don’t think what she does is in the slightest bit okay, and on top of this, I have seen him miserable on many occasions because of problems with their relationship.

I believe that he loves her, but he is a very thoughtful, kind, smart wonderful person and I’m afraid that I have lost my very best friend over this moral dispute. I don’t want to see him with a girl who so clearly lacks a moral compass.

How can I make this right?

Sincerely,
Scared

Dear Scared,
First of all, Tuffy don’t believe for one little second that this “isn’t a jealousy issue.” This is exactly a jealousy issue. You want P all for yourself. You say people associate you two with each other, and you really wish he was with a better kind of girl (aka YOU). Now, I agree with you. P’s girlfriend should NOT be shoplifting. So not cool. And his little song and dance about it being because she’s “underpriviledged” is so condescending it makes me want to vom.

Still, SHE’S the girlfriend and YOU’RE the FRIEND. If he doesn’t want you to badmouth her, DON’T DO IT. It’s really so not up to you who P dates, kiddo. He knows he has the shoplifting problem (and whatever other problems they have) but he doesn’t care. So if he doesn’t care, that’s his flooping prerogative. Here’s what Tuffy thinks is really happening: You’re feeling jealous. Yeah, yeah, you have this boyfriend or whatever. I have to be honest, I don’t think you’re fully in. Because, meanwhile, you’re alllllll up in P’s girlfriend business. If you want to be with P, dump your boyfriend and tell P how you feel. I don’t think he’s going to go for it, however, and here’s why: Even though you think he’s “miserable” with her, he’s stayed with her, long-distance and mostly faithfully, for two years. HE WANTS TO BE WITH HER.

So leave their relationship alone. And if he comes crawling to you later because it turns out you were right and they weren’t good for each other, be there as a crying shoulder. Despite what you seem to think, Scared, you don’t know everything about P or his feelings or his relationship. He does not belong to you. He is not yours to command. And, um, he already made it QUITE CLEAR that he doesn’t want you interfering. That’s the whole problem, right? Because you want me to tell you how you can interfere and break them up without his noticing. Dream on and butt out.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

As a woman, I know we have a tendency to be rather catty at times. I’m not sure if it is nature or nurture, but it is there and sometimes it can get the best of us. Who is better to teach women the art of cattiness, than the women of Hollywood? We are constantly exposed to bickering women not only on TV and in the movies, but also in the celebreality of their day-to-day lives. The cattiness factor comes more often than not when a man is involved and the love triangle becomes a tug-of-war. (Please keep in mind, in most of these upcoming catty situations the guy is hardly worth it…except for maybe Brad.)

In December’s issue of Vogue, hitting stands next week, Jennifer Aniston discusses her feelings about Angelina Jolie providing a time-line for when she and Brad Pitt began having their affair (yes, while Jen and Brad were still married.) Jen said it was really “uncool” and “inappropriate” of Ang to discuss their affair, especially admitting the fact that she couldn’t wait to come to work during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Poor Jen. She’s better off without him! Though he is mighty fine to look at…

Breaking up is hard to do, especially when ex-husband starts bangin’ your best friend. As was the case in with Heather Locklear, Richie Sambora, and Denise Richards. Locklear reportedly went crazy when she found out Richards was boning her ex-husband, Sambora. In the end, Richie lost both of the hot women in his life, Heather may have turned into a drunk and Denise has revitalized her career as a hollywood homewrecker. Bummer.

Lindsay Lohan. Enough said, right? She has been in the news for everything from drug abuse to turning gay, but there was a time when she was an innocent teenager whose boyfriend cheated on her. Lindsay and Hilary Duff were at each other’s throats calling each other immature and childish over a little spat over…get this: Aaron Carter! (teeheehee…come on girls, seriously?) Hilary went as far to say that she hated Lindsay. May not sound like much, but at Disney that is like a racial slur. Ouch!

Why anyone would ever date or even look at K-Fed, I’m not exactly sure. But, two women did and they even fought over the loser, which is even more difficult to imagine. Not only did Shar Jackson and Britney cat fight over K-Fed, they even had his gross babies (ok, ok they aren’t gross. They’re actually pretty cute). Britney stole Shar’s man…. and then she went crazy insane. Coincidence? I think not. K-Fed is the human version of ebola.

Where there is smoke, there always seems to be a blond hotel heiress. Paris Hilton once dated Rick Solomon and then Rick married Shannen Doherty. I guess Shannen didn’t want to make “movies” with Rick, so he started boinking Paris, again. Unfortunately, it was while he was still married to Shannen. Paris allegedly sent psycho messages to Shannen telling her to leave Rick alone. It appears that money doesn’t always bring happiness or sanity, but it will attract a greasy wanna-be amateur porn-king. I am glad I am poor.

Girls are terrible to each other.

Girls are each other’s own worst enemies.

But…WHY?

Why is it that guys can be each other’s brothers but girls can’t seem to get it together enough to be each other’s sisters? Why are girls so goddamn catty? Where is the love? Where is the loyalty?

I want answers and I want them now. Yes, I’m being serious. I have questions and I want answers. So, give em to me. Explain the reasoning behind this girl on girl hatred.

1. Why do girls call another girl pretty or skinny with a tone of disgust? You know what I’m talking about. Imagine this sentence being exchanged from one girl to another girl, about a girl passing on the street: “Oh my god…..she is so….skinny…(or, if you prefer, skinnnnayyyyy).” Why the attitude problem?

2. Why do girls call other girls sluts? Any girl who has thought about the meaning of the word ‘SLUT’ knows it is offensive. The thinking girl knows that this word can be used to describe a woman who flirts with another woman’s boyfriend or a woman who has slept with people she didn’t love. The thinking girl knows that there is no definition to this word and that it is hurtful to all women alike, so why do some girls say it?

3. Why are girls so judgmental? Why do you have to break down 1,000,000 walls before a girl will let you in to be her friend? I feel like tons of my friends sit at the bar ready to claw any girl who is nice to them. What does a girl have to do to make some freakin’ girl friends?

4. Why do girls assume that every girl their boyfriend and/or aspiring lover is friends with is either f*cking him or wants to f*ck him? Girls should know better than anyone that we can be friends with a boy without wanting to do him. So why don’t girls give other girls this benefit of the doubt?

5. Why do girls gossip? Why do girls swear they can keep a secret just so they can have dirt to tell everyone else? Why are girls such bad friends to each other sometimes?

I want to know your answers.

[Photo from: aolcdn.com]

Every girl has a story about some other girl who stabbed her in the back and then made her feel like crap about it. I mean, unfortunately, it’s a fact of life. Women are mean to each other.

Now, obviously, this is messed up. Aren’t men mean enough? Why do we have to make each other miserable too? But the fact is, we do.

So how to deal with such underhandedness? Cry? Scream? Pee in her soup?

Nope! Take the high road and follow these easy tips for counteracting cattiness. Because, seriously? She’s SO not worth it.

Don’t Cry

This is usually the first instinct. In that stinging moment when you discover her betrayal, tears almost always seem inevitable.

But fight those motherf*ckers!! Tears make her happy and make you look upset. And that’s what you don’t want. Think about something really funny and bite the inside of your cheek. Do NOT let her see you cry.

Talk To Your Mother

Or your aunt or your grandma or your older sister or your cousin, or anyone who automatically has your back and won’t tell anyone. This is the place where you can cry. Get it all out here, because this is your last chance.

(And buy whoever this is dinner, because they deserve it for listening.)

Make a List

Write down the things that upset you about the situation. Then cross out all the things on your list that will actually hurt you in the long run. Chances are, you’ll find there aren’t any. And if there is one, think about how you can run damage control before it gets any worse.

Cut Contact

Don’t get revenge. It’ll only bite you in the butt in the long run.

Instead, think about ways you can avoid her. Of course, you should always be polite when you see her–but only polite, not friendly. She is obviously not worth the negative energy.

If she’s a close friend or someone who you have to work with or anything like that, you will need to talk to her. Explain to her why she hurt your feelings and see how she reacts. If she goes on the defensive or tries to act like a martyr, just say you understand and resolve to remain polite but distant. If, however, she is truly sorry, then perhaps you can live to friend another day.

Get Over It

Yeah, it seems impossible. But you gotta do it.

Let it go and feel the relief of knowing you took the high road. You are making the best decision for you by avoiding drama and handling her bitchiness as an adult. Let her next victim seek revenge (and end up regretting it)–you don’t need her validation to be who you are.

Congratulations. You’ve just conquered cattiness. And you didn’t even break a sweat.

[Image courtesy of www.stephenrahn.com. Doesn't it make fighting look oh-so-cute?]

I have a special place in my heart for terrible teen television. The O.C., Degrassi, Instant Star, South of Nowhere, Dawson’s Creek: I just can’t get enough of it. The cheesy acting, the terrible love dramas, the catty bitch fights. I LOVE IT.

Which is why I am pumped for my newest terrible teen television drama Gossip Girl. Being an angsty teen is hard enough but when you’re rich, pretty and living on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, life is so bad it’s good. I’m pretty sure I watched the trailer five times because I was THAT excited.

There have been reviews. The New York Times profiled the show while five real UES Manhattan girls watched the first episode. And a few have even written that Gossip Girl is nothing to gossip about. But this is no Arrested Development, people. This is bad television.

The acting is sub par and the plotline monotonous (teens drinking and doing it… not anything new), but this time instead of sunny California it’s New York City.

And a location change is enough for me to be interested. It’s new! It’s fresh! It’s probably awful and I love it.

If aren’t privy to the line up of events, here’s a quick rundown:

Serena van der Woodsen has just returned from a year at boarding school. No one knows why she left, and no one knows why she’s back. But the website Gossip Girl, which chronicles the latest happenings among these UES yuppie teens, has spotted her in Grand Central.

What follows is a tumultuous turn of events. Serena’s ex-BFF Blair is trying to do it with her boyfriend Nate because Serena is back in town. Apparently, Nate cheated on Blair with Serena. Oh, snap.

Blair’s big party, Kiss on the Lips, is happening and Serena isn’t invited. Instead she opts to hang with geeky boy Dan (the luscious Penn Badgly) instead.

Dan’s little sister Jenny snagged an invite to the party because she MADE the invites. Poor darling. She’s trying so hard to be a part of the in crowd. At the party bad-boy drunk Chuck almost rapes her. Good thing there are cells, and 911 texts because Dan and Serena come to save the day.

And then they hold hands. They HOLD HANDS.

Juicy!

So I’ve pretty much seen the entire first episode from the five minute trailer, but if you aren’t convinced enough to want to a part of the in crowd tonight at 9, I’ll give you one more good reason:

The clothes.

Rich girls have great clothes, and Gossip Girl is no exception.