I watch a lot of TV, and since I’ve been homebound for a few weeks because of surgery, I have been watching more TV than should be legally allowed in the United States. Most nights, there are previews for NEW FALL SHOWS!! every 3.2 seconds, and having watched my fair share of these previews, I’d like to make a list of a few of these new dramatic ventures. A list in which I try to determine what the show is about, and how long it will go without being cancelled, from only the actors and title.

* Bad Mother’s Handbook – ABC – (premires: Midseason) With a cast that includes Megan Mullally, Alicia Silverstone, and Arrested Development’s Alia Shawkat, there is the potential for this comedy to either turn out okay or really, really suck. Mullally has Will and Grace, but she also has that horrible talk show that failed harder than Jessica Simpson’s country album. Silverstone has Clueless and she loves animals, but she’s also made a boatload of horrible movies. Based on the title, I’d say we have a situation comedy where Mullally predictably plays a hard drinking, irresponsible mother, and Silverstone plays her lovable and cheerful daughter. Hijinks ensue. Hijinks that will probably go on for about 5 episodes before getting the ax.

Gary Unmarried – CBS – (premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24, 8:30 pm/ET) Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall (??) no doubt play either a husband and wife, a divorced-yet-still-talking husband and wife, or a shticky guy who can’t find a mate and his ever reliant best female friend. Jay Mohr tends to be funny 20% of the time. I have no idea who Paula Marshall is. And I’m so freaking tired of comedies where it’s all about finding a significant other. I predict maximum suckage and cancellation after 2 episodes. Read More »

Ryan, if you would just date me, you would have no home to wreck!

Caution, triathlons may kill you

Dunkin’ Donuts gets healthyish...

This list is stupid

Spanx are actually…kind of…not the healthiest body image idea

Americans hate fat people.

Kutcher VS Timberlake: Who’s the biggest douche?

Make fun of yourself. I dig it

The grey area of sexual responsibility

Why does Hollywood insist on remakes?

The cast members on CBS’s Big Brother — OH MY GOD THIS IS SO SCARY!! — survive yesterday’s earthquake

As I’m writing this, Ali Gilmore has been missing for 799 days, 15 hours, and 43 minutes according to the website dedicated to finding the missing pregnant woman.

Her disappearance was one of the bigger news stories in Tallahassee, FL for a couple of months, with fairly consistent news reports about the continuing search for her whereabouts and billboards all around town with phone numbers to call with any pertinent information about her disappearance. The case even got some national exposure, appearing on Dateline, MSNBC, the Montel Williams Show, and Nancy Grace among others. The reward was and still is $30,000, but absolutely nothing has been found in the two years that she has been missing.

With all of the coverage surrounding the so-called “Marine Murders” and even the story of Laci Peterson’s murder a couple of years ago, reports of missing or murdered pregnant women have been surfacing more and more and the news exposure has been increasing exponentially. But, as a recent story by CBS news reports, the stories getting the widest exposure aren’t indicative of the real statistics of maternal homicide victims. Read More »

The 2008 Grammy nominees were recently announced.

In case you don’t know, winning a Grammy is sort of similar to winning the superlative for “like the most coolest, most awesome, most fabulous person EVER!!!” in your 12th grade yearbook.

The Grammy Award is one of, if not the most prestigious award to win in music. Unlike the American Music Awards or MTV’s Video Music Awards, feathered boas and pasties aren’t exactly appropriate attire. Artists don their Lorraine Schwartz jewels and their vintage haute-couture gowns and put their classiest act forward.

So naturally, when I read that Amy Winehouse is up for six Grammy noms (including both record and album of the year), one must wonder how a girl who is too drugged out to function will manage to:

a) Dress appropriately

b) Give a speech in the event that she wins

c) Actually show up (and not be totally obliterated)

The Grammy’s just got so much more exciting don’t you think??

Kanye is leading the pack with 8 nominations, and others up for awards include Justin Timberlake (What Goes Around Comes Around), Beyonce (Irreplaceable), Rhianna (Umbrella-ella… that song is STILL in my head) and Plain White T’s (Hey There Delilah… and that song STILL annoys me). Read More »

Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

Thanks to a little piece of wire, some lace straps, and cups (not the porcelain kind) this hasn’t been an issue for a century now.

Happy 100th birthday bra!

Vogue first wrote about bras in 1907, when they were simply around for function and comfort. Nowadays, even members of the itty-bitty-t*tty committee get pleasure out of bra shopping, so much so that it’s become an important part of everyday fashion.

You know what I mean, like when you’re feeling sneaky, sultry, and seductive in an oversized hoodie because shhh, you’ve got your ‘unstrap me or else’ black lace bust booster on underneath. Hellooo, why do you think they call it Victoria’s Secret???

The clever contraption’s birthday comes at the perfect time, with the ever-so-popular Victoria’s Secret fashion show on tonight. (Airs on CBS at 10!)

In a college culture where any silly event is morphed into a full-on blowout boozin’ binge bash, I think I’ve already heard of four different VS viewings tonight, each with a lingerie dress code and lots and lots of champagne.

What better reason to break out the bubbly than a b-day for brassieres?

I was half thrilled, half shocked to learn that Don Imus‘ show was actually nixed from MSNBC and to top it off, CBS just eliminated his radio show! That is so flippin’ major I can’t even contain my enthusiasm.

As with many racial matters in this country, I totally thought it would be a brushed off kind of issue within days. Fortunately, I was wrong, Imus received a serious, serious punishment for his racial slur.

Sorry, dude, but you’re not getting any special treatment for being some kind of TV/radio star.

 Do you think Imus got what he deserved?