And, obviously, on this particular weekend huge things happened in the world of pop culture and entertainment, which leave me with hundreds of emails and tons of voicemails upon my return. Note: hair extremely greasy.

Um. Dumbledore is gay!?

What? How on earth did I miss that? I mean, really; how the hell did I miss that?

I have read every single Harry Potter book…3 times.

I majored in English in college, meaning I learned the art of reading between the lines in all sorts of texts.

I am a total fag-hag and love (absolutely adore) gay men.

If anyone should have seen that one coming it would have been me.

I am not saying that I am some genius (though, if you would like to think of me as one I am more than happy to agree), but I am saying that I am always on the lookout for interesting sub-plots and the meaning behind everything an author writes. Especially when it involves fabulous and powerful gay men.

So, if JK had indeed intended Dumbledore to be gay from the beginning, I would have seen it. And I did not. There was no pink décor in Dumbledore’s office. There were no saucy memories of late nights in Hogsmeade’s most hoppin’ gay bars floating around the Penseive. There wasn’t even an inkling of interest between Dumbles (as I like to call him) and Cedric Diggory, and how could any gay man not fall for that boy’s eyes, not to mention his skills on the Quiddich pitch?

And, let us not forget just how shady it all would be if Dumbledore really were gay. The man’s protégé was an 11 year old boy, after all! Reminds me of one Mr. Mark Foley, no?

But that is not my biggest issue. My issue is that JK wrote 7 books (7!) without once making mention or reference to Dumbledore’s homosexuality. Sure, now she claims that there was a little sumthin’ sumthin’ going on between Dumbles and Grindelwald, that it was his “great tragedy,” but why is this the first we are hearing about it? Why not delve into this a little more at some point during her thousands of written pages?

If she is truly trying to make a statement and teach a lesson regarding homosexuality by writing such a strong and pivotal character as a gay man, why not really go for it?

Is it, perhaps, that she came up with this twist right there on the spot at Carnegie Hall? That maybe she simply wants to revive the recently waning interest in her precious books? Draw people back to the theaters for the final installments of HP movies? Could it be that this is just some huge publicity ploy?