We all agree that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck. But can we really blame her for being so messed-up when she’s had to deal with parents like Michael and Dina Lohan?

Michael has been acting especially awful lately—he keeps leaking recordings of phone calls with Lindsay and her mom to the media, supposedly because he’s worried about her. Right, because the best way to help your strung-out daughter is by releasing calls that you recorded without her knowledge to the national press, who have always been nothing but kind to her.

What a douche.

Thinking about Michael Lohan reminds us of other Hollywood dads who are certified d-bags. Jon Gosselin, Alec Baldwin, the Hoff… all of them are rich, famous, and majorly jerky. But which one of them deserves to be named the Douchiest Hollywood Dad of all? Tell us what you think in the poll below.

Jon Gosselin: Do we even need to list the reasons why this father of eight deserves to be named Douchemaster of the Century? His crimes against humanity are only made worse by the fact that he and M.Loh are apparently BFF. Shudder.

David Hasselhoff: Remember the video from 2007 of The Hoff wasted out of his mind, eating a hamburger on the floor as his daughter begs him not to drink anymore? We do. Douchetastic.

Alec Baldwin: We love Alec on 30 Rock, but that doesn’t change his awful parenting—he screamed at his daughter on her voicemail, saying that he didn’t care if she was “twelve years old, or eleven years old,” because she’s a “rude, thoughtless little pig.” Classy!

Jude Law: Don’t you just love how the British tabloids once called the Oscar-nominated actor “Rude Law”? Having an affair with your children’s nanny while dating the smoking hot Sienna Miller is definitely not polite behavior; we’d expect more from a Brit. Plus, rumor has it this dad hasn’t even met his newest love-child. Good work, champ. Even Lil Wayne is less of a dead-beat than you.

Billy Ray Cyrus: Oh, Billy. First you pose creepily with Miley in Vanity Fair, and then you let little Noah Cyrus leave the house looking like a common prostitute. We don’t care how achey and breaky your heart is—that’s just wrong.

So which dad is the douchiest? You decide:

Happy (almost) Father’s Day! We know you guys aren’t dads (and if there are any dads reading this, well, that’s just sorta icky), but you are most likely celebrating one. Just because you’re showering your dad with gifts of bacon and neckties, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself.

So we’re bringing you the hottest celebrity dads around. Because while it may be gross to think of your dad as a hottie (OMG…can’t….get…that…image….out…of….my….head….), it’s totally fine to celebrate the hotness that is the Celebrity DILF.

What we wouldn’t give to have these guys bounce us on their knee for a few. Come to mama!
[Click images to see them in all their daddy glory!]