Dear Celebrities who Haven’t Released a Sex Tape,

Thank you very much for not doing that. I know some of you have probably made one or several sex tapes with your husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and wives, and I respect the fact that you have chosen not to release these tapes and make money off of them. Maybe you want to keep your private live private, or maybe you don’t want people saying you’re “that actress with a sex tape.” Whatever the reason, you will always be able to say your movies are available on Netflix instead of in a porn store.

If you’re a celeb that isn’t as famous as you used to be, and you have a sex tape you haven’t released, I (and the rest of the world) respect and admire that decision. Taking a look a popular culture, you’ll find that many not famous/somewhat famous people became REALLY famous after releasing a sex tape. One of them has a WHOLE FAMILY that’s famous just because the middle sister chose to film and sell a sex tape with someone whose name rhymes with Ray J.

And now I would like to thank one certain celeb who was famous for about two seconds, and isn’t famous at all anymore. People have uncovered a sex tape or two of hers, and she is trying hard to make sure they aren’t released. You should thank this lady too. 

Love,

Jessica

Jessica Zaleski is a senior at the University of Florida, and she has never made a sex tape. 

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Obviously no one learned their lesson from Paris Hilton (or Kim Kardashian, Leighton Meester, Screech, etc…). and clearly Vanessa Hudgens’ nude body all over the internet didn’t quite send the don’t-take-nude-pictures message either, because twilight star Ashley Greene has some not-so-PG photos circulating the world wide web.

And I just. don’t. get it.

How many people need to have their tatas posted on TMZ and passed around from blog to blog to news channel for the young stars in Hollywood to get the message? It’s like these girls secretly want their pictures all over the internet; like maybe they think it will help their career or publicize an upcoming film (real film, not porny film). If that’s the case, I’m pretty sure New Moon was going to do just fine without Ash’s nude photos, and I highly doubt this tween star’s career is going to benefit from her vajay being splashed all over the web.

But if it’s not for those reasons, then why the eff haven’t these people realized? Why do they continue to disrobe in front of their webcams? And WHY DO THEY SEND THEM OUT? Even internet whore Perez Hilton, who benefits most from these photo sessions, issued out a warning: “How many times do we have to say it? Do NOT take any nudie pics unless you want them to get out – because they will!”

This whole phenomenon boggles (or bottles) my mind. I don’t understand.
Tell me, have you learned this lesson yet? Would you send sexy photos?

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