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[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know.]

These days, it seems like the etiquette rules of the past just can’t keep up with the changing face of communication. Now, I like my cell phone as much as the next person, but there are some things you just shouldn’t do with a phone…

- Having a cell phone lets you talk whenever, whereever, but that doesn’t mean you should. It’s rude to talk on the phone in restaurants, movie theaters, libraries, lecture halls, opera houses (does anyone actually go to those?), etc. Keep your phone on silent. Duh.

- What’s more, it’s rude to talk loudly. I don’t mean the “slightly-above-normal-speaking-level” loud. I mean the “STRAIGHT-UP-SCREAMIING-INTO-YOUR-PHONE-LIKE-IT’S-A-MEGA-PHONE“ loud. If you have to scream, take it somewhere private. Otherwise, realize that the other person will hear you whether you’re screaming or whispering (preferably, talking normally). Plus it makes you look super crazy if you’re walking down the street screaming into a hidden Bluetooth. Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupidity of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone etiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Landscapers: Ok guys, I understand that you’ve got a lot of ground to cover (no pun intended) and that requires you to start the day extra early to please all of your clients, one of whom happens to be the landlord of my apartment. I have no problem with you guys manicuring the lawn (because the thought of operating any type of lawnmower scares the living crap out of me–wierd childhood fear), but I do have trouble justifying the fact that you come at 7 am every. single. Monday. Coincidentally, 7 is four hours earlier than I ever plan on waking up on a Monday. I’m sure you can understand why it could be difficult to sleep through someone weedwhacking right under my window. On the bright side, you do wake me up early enough to possibly be a productive citizen, so I actually didn’t mind my chainsaw alarm last Monday when it got me to go to the library earlier–until I walked outside and got dirt in my eyes from the huge clouds you stirred up with the leafblowers. Will you never let me have my peace!? Read More »