There are two types of drinkers. The kind that can handle their liquor, and the kind that can’t. The kind of drunk who is the life of the party, and the kind the party wants to punch in the face. What kind of person are you? Ask yourself which of the following qualities apply to you:

Annoying drunk people…

1. Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

2. Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” and then reach for a bottle of Bud Lite, Jager, Windex, anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of inxotication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

3. Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

4. Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 180

Mood: Scared

“Look, if we go out there, are you ready to deal with him?”

Justin still held the doorknob, his mouth tightening as Sasha’s knocking and yelling got louder.

“Deal with him?” I checked my watch and saw that it was close to 1 A.M. I didn’t know much about parties and drinking, but from what little I did know, I knew that past midnight, things got strange. Got out of control.

“He’s drunk. He’s gonna say things. Sasha says things.”

“What the HELL?! Open UP!”

It sounded like Sasha was throwing his entire weight against the door. I moved closer to Justin and grabbed onto his shirt without thinking. “Let just get out of here. It’s fine. We’ll deal with whatever.”

Justin looked down quickly at my fingers intertwined with the cloth of his shirt. Without saying anything, he put his free hand over mine. “Okay. Just. Ignore everything that comes out of his mouth.”

Turning the knob, Justin opened the bathroom door seconds before Sasha threw his fists against it again. A small crowd had gathered around him, watching in amused disgust as Sasha took his drunk anger out on a door that seemed only a few shards away from breaking in half. Most of the onlookers probably would have cheered if he had broken it down. Read More »