Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I cheated on my boyfriend but now I want him back. I realized that the other guy that I was cheating with wasn’t that great so I really want to get back with my guy. He said okay we can get back together but the problem is that while we weren’t together (he broke up with me when he found out I cheated) he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and everything and that he wouldn’t see anyone else because he wanted to get back together.

Well the thing is, Tuffy, I just found out that he was talking to another girl while we weren’t together. He said he wouldn’t do that so now I feel like I can’t trust him. He told me about it because he said he feels bad about it but he says nothing happened, they just went out to dinner. But I’m so mad at him. He keeps apologizing but I feel like I need something bigger. Should I just get back with him like my heart wants or should I make him show he’s sorry first?

Please post this Tuffy; this is the third time I’m emailing you.

Gina

Dear Gina,

The reason I didn’t respond to your question the first two times was to spare you from what I was going to say. But, hey, if you insist:

This is totally effed. Sorry Gina, but you’re completely in the wrong here. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. You cheat on him, but he’s the one who’s supposed to beg your forgiveness?! That’s just messed upp.

So what do I think you should do?

Well, first of all, I think you should reconsider how you treat people you supposedly care about. Cheating is not okay. Sorry. It’s such an effed up thing to do. And then to demand he apologize to YOU just because he dated a little when you weren’t even together?! Not cool, girl. So not cool.

Yeah, I agree, if he said he was waiting for you, he shouldn’t have been dating. But you had already cheated on him! And you weren’t together! I mean, on what grounds are you saying YOU can’t trust HIM?! He even came clean to you about going out to dinner (horrors!)! What the hell more do you want?!

I don’t think you should take him back, Gina. No one deserves to be treated the way you’re treating him. Take a look at yourself and how you treat the people you love and make a decision to change. The way things are going, you’re not going to find yourself in a healthy relationship anytime soon. You get what you give.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv